It must have been something in the water on Saturday. I somehow managed to have three different exchanges with women I have gone out with over the years, that all shared one common theme: Leon is an @sshole.
All three ladies were experiencing relationship issues of varying degrees, ranging from “talk it out” to “Never speak to that fool again.” The first coversation was with the ex I was with for a few years. I still have love for her, and want her to someday be happy…but she doesn’t seem to know how to. She lashed out at me at one point and said “Let me handle how I feel and my emotions!” I know when she gets angry, there’s no winning a debate, even if the facts are right there in front of you both.
I told her I’d back off and let her handle it, and she hit me with: “It’s like when you used to say you were coming by, then you’d go to Common Share and get drunk then call at 1AM talking about you are on the way.”
I countered with “I owned up to that a long time ago. We agreed:I was a f*ck up. Next time you have selective memories of our relationship, think about something happy. Like sex!” As you can probably tell, that conversation ended shortly thereafter.
Next, another friend was talking about how her new fellow said that he was going to call, then didn’t. I told her not to sweat it, then she said “That was your problem. You never took things seriously when we dated. It’s because I didn’t put out, isnt it?” I told her that we just ended up in the friend zone, and we would have ended up there even if she had put out. Then, I told her to keep holding out hope, because someday, if the stars and planets align just right, I may let her touch the wang. She didn’t find it funny.
The last example was the worst one, because it didn’t even happen in person. One of my Myspace friends send out a bulletin with a Youtube video embedded because she got a call from her dude’s other woman. She proceeded to set up her camera, show his picture, say his name, then call the man and put their phone conversation on Youtube. I can’t lie, it was slightly amusing listening to him getting caught in a bunch of lies, then telling more obvious lies in an attempt to get out from under the bus. That said, I thought it was messed up to put their personal phone call on the internet without his knowledge. During her rant, she called the man broke, talked about his small penis, said he lives with his momma then went into all kinds of crazy in-depth detail about their personal situation. Don’t ask me for the URL, because I’m not making that screw-up guy any more famous than he already is. I’m sure some of you probably already know where to look to find it anyway.
I rarely volunteer my opinion to folks like her(people who refuse to listen when they’re emotional), but I felt like I had to say something, because that type of thing is wrong on a couple of levels, and can lead to repercussions(legal and/or physical), depending on who you’re dealing with. I know people who have been shot for way less than that! Besides, I know she’s actually a good person when she’s not angry. So I told her that she should think twice about publishing actual personal conversations without the other party’s consent. She then decided to lash out and said “If I remember correctly, I could have put YOU on blast from when we went out back in the day!”
I responded by saying “You DID try to, remember? It didn’t work!” She found out with me that attempting to air someone’s dirty laundry is not very effective when the other party truly does not give a f*ck about his actions. In her mind, we stopped going out because I didn’t respect her enough to give her the treatment that she deserves. To me, just I didn’t feel a need to kiss her ass, or anyone else’s, and I don’t like wasting time trying to read people’s minds when they don’t communicate. We agreed to disagree on that one years ago, but apparently, she’s been holding on to that card like the Big Joker in a game of spades, waiting for the right moment to throw it on the table.
Either way, the underlying theme of all three conversations was “Leon is a self-centered jerk.” The irony of the situations is that in each situation, I was actually trying to help. I guess somedays, it pays to just shut the hell up and ignore chiming in on other people’s problems. That, or I just need to altogether stop speaking to women that I dated in the past. Then again, now that these ones know that I sincerely don’t give a rat’s ass about “wrongs” I so-called comitted in long-dead romantic relationships, maybe they’ll stop trying to bring them up.
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Sometimes you can’t help women out because they don’t want the truth. A while back this girl I know was talking about her man problems and her two friends were giving her the delusional female take on it. She asked me what I thought and I told her the truth–”he’s treating you like crap because you’re a crier and if he dumps you, you’ll go batshit crazy, but if he keeps shitting on you until you dump him, then he’s good to go”.
Then she started crying and her friends got mad at me for being insensitive. But a few days later, the crier said I was right (and started crying).
As a woman, I really don’t understand all that cry over a dude, put him on blast, beat a bitch up nonsense. I’ve always been an anything you can do I can do better kind of girl. You cheat on me I’ll cheat on you. You go out 3 nights a week I’ll go out 5. If I feel your not the slight bit interested ok who’s next. It’s a waste of time to cry over spilled milk when you can go out and get another carton. Saves time, energy, and my $27 mascara.
It’s not like from day one I aint tell you, that I aint shit. When it comes to relationships, I just dont have the patience.
I just give chicks hard dick and bubble gum
@ Big Homie, Jay Z is almost always good for a timely quote!
@ Khaleela, two wrongs don’t make a right! I think Ashford and Simpson said that!
@ Homeimprovementninja, I agree. Some women can’t handle hearing the truth when their emotions have them going in circles.
Y’all shouldn’t be friendly because all three of them still have issues with how you treated them. Oh and you prolly were an asshole? Cus only an asshole mentions a YouTube clip but refuses to publish it!?
@ Hostess….touche. I guess I am a bit of an asshole!
Two wrongs don’t make a right but it sure makes it fuuuuun!
Khaleela and I think alike. My theory on that is, dudes don’t know how it feels to a woman when they do stupid assed shit, like diss us for their friends, or cheat on us with some hoodrat ho. So when you bounce it back on them, its always funny to see their reaction, cause they almost always react the same way we did, except in a “manlier” way.
And to that third girl, who put her “man” on blast. Thats never a good thing, yo. Some men dont take nice to that sort of shit. She’s going to put the wrong guy on blast and he’s gonna stalk her in a dark alley and whoop the daylights out her ass. Warn her before its too late! Plus, thats SO immature, especially if he’s not even MARRIED to her. Geez.
Allllright, Khaleela! **snap, snap!** I cried over one dude in my lifetime and swore that I’ll never do it again. Shit, when I’m a widow I won’t cry at my late husband’s funeral.
Ahem. So…uhhh..
Honestly, black men and women have emotional issues from the past that need to be addressed and healed if healthy relationships are ever to exist.
To Krazy34th and Wonderlove: Amen sistahs! Burn those bras!
I will just say this, I am 35 (on 11/29) married for 12 years, I’ve cooked, cleaned, ironed and been Betty “fucin” Crocker or more that one occassion, my husband took all this and more for granted, he is a whore in every sense of the word…so I will quote Jay Z as well …ahem…Once a good girl has gone bad…she’s gone forever.
@ Passion, I’m sorry to hear that :(
I am in a good place…he on the other hand is now looking around like WTF. :-)
In that case, Passion, TEAR DAT AZZ UP! Seriously! Ohhh, I cannot STAND a cheating husband. >:|
I@ Khaleela. I’m going to have to crush this insurgent uprising of scorned women that you’ve started over here!
Oh the wonders of youtube. I saw this bad boy last night and giggled till I cried.
IMHO – every once in a while, guys need to run into the that chick who will put their behinds on blast for being triflin, bust that (often undeserved) ego down a notch… so they can learn to appreciate good women.
And to all of us women who’ve been hurt – don’t ever stoop or allow bitterness to invade your life. It clashes with your fine-azz-ocity.
my pride could fill up Giant Stadium…I could never EVER in a zillion years let any dude know that he hurt me.
I just bottle it up and FedEx Overnight that shit to Karma’s doorstep…I ain’t got time for that shizz no more…
Because I used to have a thing for a**holes I can feel your ex’s pain. You dont give a damn and that pisses them off more. You more than likely like that you still get some sort of emotion out of them. It feeds your ego.
By the way, if you get called an a**hole by any one you dealt with in the past,ask them who is the bigger ass. You for being one or them for dealing with you after they realized it. That usually stops the scorned from going any further.
There are TOO many men around to fool around with those who don’t appreciate you. As I have sad in my single days (married for 11.5 years): Go ahead, f**k up, there are 5 folks waitin’ to take your place. It ain’t no thang to me, dude! Needless to say, my number one, has been so for 11.5 years and i haven’t felt the need or had the motivation to step out either!
Co-sign with TQB. Except if they cheat on me, I let my pain show by extracting pain on their asses, too. Physical pain tho, not the mental kind. But normally after you scare a guy close to death, the mental pain stays with them also, for a long time. :D It works either way, none of them ever forget my name, and I move on happily :)
Krazy34th…oh yeah, cheating? It’s a wrap! Just ask my ex-hubby who ALMOST got stabbed in the throat. But I bet you he learned his lesson: You don’t cheat on a crazy Dominican from Brooklyn. Now his next female won’t have to worry… It was my contribution to mankind.
LOL
LOL!!!
What the hell is going on in this place? Sounds like a bunch of emotionally stunted folks who take their issues from one relationship to the next because they never properly deal with their shit before moving on. Who gives a crap if you cry? It means you are capable of FEELING. That pride, tit for tat and one up manship stuff aint healthy and will get you NO WHERE because at the end of the day HE DON’T CARE! His pride will be hurt for all of a second, but if he really cared about you in the first place there wouldn’t even be a need for you to go out a reciprocate or exact revenge. Just deal with your issues, learn what you need to learn from that situation and move on. Any other action is just a waste of time and energy…
Oh and Leon, I’d really want to kill you because your attitude is so nonchalant, but I don’t befriend exes so it wouldn’t even be an issue. They have no one to blame but themselves if they are all bent out of shape. If they feel some type of way about the way things went down and are still harboring negative feelings towards you then they shouldn’t even be your friend. Women sometimes kid themselves into thinking that maybe one day you’ll look up, get it together realize you lost the best thing that ever happened to you. That’s usually the REAL reason they stick around once the relationship is over.