My good friend Rob and I had a funny conversation back when we first met. You see, we both worked as bouncers back in the day. Me, and the now-defunt Republic Gardens, and Rob at an upscale area strip club in DC. When he told me the name of the place, I immediately remembered the time I went there, because some stripper gave me her number and talked about hooking up later. Here’s how the events happened:
*cloudy memory fog*
I walked in the strip club, already drunk as hell from one of the places having an open-bar promotion up the street. The first thing I did was order a drink, and this beatuiful African stripper came up to me. She flirted a bit, which is what I figured is the standard routine for strippers not onstage. As I said before, I was drunk as all get-out-of-town, so I didn’t really care about all of that. There was a pretty chick with a hot French accent and very little clothing talking shit, so I just smiled, paid as much drunken attention as possible, and looked at her breasts every 13 seconds or so.
When she got onstage and took her clothes off, I decided to go up and tip her. Only thing is, my f*ck stick was hard as a rock. I went up there, and she rubbed her ass across my crotch and looked shocked. Then she said “WOW! How’d it get like that?”
I replied “I’m drunk, you’re naked, and I’m horny. That’s how!”
When she got offstage, she came over to where I was at the bar, gave me her number, then talked to me for a few more minutes, rubbing on my d*ck gently almost the entire time. I didn’t call her that night like she wanted me to, and I never saw her again after that.
Back to my conversation with Rob…We talked about the foolishness that we had to deal with working security, and he said “We used to have this African girl in there…Every night, I had to tell her to stop giving handjobs in the club! They got rid of her because of that mess. She’d go sit down with a customer, reach for his d*ck, and start playing with it.”
I heard this, and thought “DAMN IT! I thought my d*ck was special to her!” Then I told Rob the story that I put above and we both laughed. That sexy little petite African chick with the French accent had a handjob fetish. That, or she was hoe-ing and getting those guys to pay her for sex later on. I might have avoided the okie-doke by choosing not to call her. The reason I didn’t call was because I figured she was most likely an STD waiting to happen. Good thing I listened to instinct instead of using hard-d*ck logic
Still, I really did think that my wang held a special place in her heart! Ah well…
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Nahh, that chick prolly still had the precum of the last guy on ‘er hand, sorry.
Did she wash her hands immediately afterwards or moved on to the next dude with jizz residue on her hand?
Poor wang! Leon, caress it, hug it (with your legs), pluck it….tell it that it’s special…LMBAO!
lmao ^^^
an african with a possible std?!
thatsracist.jpg
Hahaha…can’t believe you fell for the oh-the-stripper-likes-me-in-the-stripclub setup. That’s like every strippers networking scheme to get you to come back and tip her week after week. When I worked in a stripclub ………not as a stripper (ahem) ……..all the girls would pick a “special” guy to pay attention to and that guy would be at the foot of the stage every week throwing dollars. Good thing you didn’t call. Your face would be splattered across a statistic billboard on New York Avenue.
Now, now, don’t think like that! Of course yours is special!! Don’t let some strip club ho make you doubt the greatness of your, what did you call it? wang…
@ Jelani and Wonderlove, she ras rubbing mine through my jeans, so there was no skin to skeet-stained skin contact.
@ ant, I figued ALL the women in there probably had the heebee-geebies or something. Not just the pretty one from the Motherland!
@ Khaleela, I thought mine stood out amongst the miles and miles of d*ck she has encountered in her career. I didn’t know EVERYBODY got the open-air massage treatment!
@ The Jaded NYer, thanks :)
I hope you knew my African ass was gonna reply. Disclaimer: not all pretty Africans give hand jobs…thank you and good nite!
At least you didn’t get ripped off by a stripper named Moet for $70 at Magic City in Atlanta because you let your dick do the thinking for you, oh and get your car booted in the same night!
…whoops, had a flashback there for a moment (the story is on my blog). Woo-sah! Woo-sah!
And in my hometown (Jackson, MS), rumor has it that there is a strip club that fronts as a brother. You slap a rubber on, the stripper moves her panties to the side and pretends she’s giving you a lapdance. That’s STD city for your ass…
And a female friend of mine was talking about how one of her friends had a party at a strip club that had a Sushi Bar. Talk about a new meaning to Crab Rolls.
Did I say Brother? I meant Brothel/Whorehouse/house of ill repute.
leoninatl: Yoooooouuuuuu…..there is one of those in DC. I won’t disclose the location or how I know about it……ahem….but…..you pay $50 at the door, there’s open bar and a weed room…. all you have to do is tip the girls a little something extra to get a little something extra (ya feel me).
What’s more disturbing to me is I’ve witnessed 5 Bachelor parties take place there and the groom to be was not minding his manners :-/
How dudes could bang a stripper is beyond me, yo. Thats just asking to get a “POSITIVE” on your HIV panel. tsk tsk.
on the 2nd day of christmas a stripper gave to me… 2 hand jobs..
and an Nasty A*# STD…
Thought I’d give you some theme music to go with your story…
You and your stripper stories Leon… wow.
@ Khaleela, what’chu doing at all these batchelor parties at this stripper house of skeet? I actually think someone told me where that place is, but I REALLY wouldn’t want to go, other than to see who the hoes are, just in case one of my boys starts dating her when she decides to “turn her life around” or “go legit.” Can’t let my friends fall in love wit a woman down to do something strange for some change!
@ Leon, I need to go read this story. Sorry about your car and encounter with Moet…lol. I’m not laughing at you, but at her stage name!
Mercy, I’m not stereotyping my beautiful African queens. I hope nobody else is, either.
@ Krazy, I don’t want to stereotype all strippers either…but for every cool one I’ve met, Ive met three who are down for whatever if the money is right.
@ Yve, thanks for the soundtrack!
I have to admit; looking at a girl’s breasts every 13 seconds or so while drunk is pretty dayum good.
Aint nothing “special” in a strip club but the sauce on those wings. Especially in a club full of 50 other hard wangs…
On another note, in the back of my head, I always wanted to be a stripper. But you know, the kind that doesn’t have “issues,” wasn’t sexually abused by her mother’s “friends,” “touched” by the “stay away from” uncle at the family reunion, or wasn’t hugged too much or not enough by her father, as Chris Rock would say. I’m mean, especially when I hear that Jamie Foxx song… *signing* “I got my money on you, big faces spanking brand new; come and get this mooonnneeey..” Maybe I need to get one of those poles for the crib.
leoninatl- that’s called the backroom service. You could get that at almost any strip club, if you talk to the right person. Just ask for a private dance with the right girl.
Khaleela- You sound like you got a story to tell. And I’m listening… *grabbing popcorn, adjusting seat*
Hustleman,
That story is under “Third Times the MUTHAFUCKIN Charm!” on my blog. Here’s the link:
http://leonsays.blogspot.com/2007/08/third-times-muhfuckin-charm-i-swear.html
I was there because I was a bartender…..that’s it…lol…..i promise
marleaux: stories? if only you knew the half. You’ll need enough popcorn to fill a bathtub.
How do the DC strip joints compare to ATL’s?
WOOOOOWWWW! That’s all I can say Leon
@Khaleela, don’t let anyone have you defending yourself girl! I had an auntie who use to say it’s not what a woman does, but how she does it that makes her a LADY :)
wen did the skylark become “upscale”
@ Miss202 it wasn’t Skylark, it was Archibalds…LOL
I used the word “upscale” as a code word to say “caters to more of a white crowd” ;)