Chuck Norris may be the baddest of all badasses, but Billy Dee Williams is far and away the smoothest lover-man to ever walk God’s Green Earth! Even slightly greater than, yours truly! If your woman was the recipient of this look right here:
…then Billy Dee Williams was most likely the recipient of her vagina later on that night. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the facts:
- Billy Dee Williams does not use any hair care products. He sweet-talks his hair, and it lays on it’s back without hesitation.
- Billy Dee Williams once impregnated a can of Colt 45…with a mere gaze!
- When consumed in the presence of Billy Dee Williams, Colt 45 no longer tastes like shitty corner store malt liquor. It takes on the flavor of expensive champagne.
- The Virgin Mary was allegedly saving herself for an evening with Billy Dee Williams, but God had other plans.
- Billy Dee Williams was born with a condom on.
- Billy Dee Williams discovered Sasquatch during a hunting trip, convinced him to shave, then enrolled him in acting classes. He is now known to the world as Brad Garrett.
- Billy Dee Williams is like a sexual Santa Claus: He sees you when you’re skeeting….He knows if you’re a skank…He knows if your stuff’s bad or good, so be good for Billy Dee’s sake!
- Billy Dee Williams sold his soul to Satan, but Satan gave it back, fearing Billy Dee would come to Hell and steal all of his hoes from him.
- 19,998 of the 20,000 women that Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have slept with were Billy Dee’s sloppy-seconds.
- God originally issued 11 Commandments, the last being “Thou shalt aspire to be like Billy Dee Williams someday”, but Moses was a player-hater and conveniently left that one out.
- Billy Dee Williams’ sweat is glow-in-the-dark…but he’s too cool to sweat. You’ll just have to take my word on this one.
- Billy Dee Williams once turned water into Colt 45 at a friend’s wedding.
- Billy Dee Williams is so cool, his entrance into any room on Earth is preceded by a slight breeze.
- Billy Dee Williams rewrote the Kama Sutra in order to help couples around the world make love “The Billy Dee Way.”
- Billy Dee Williams’ voice is so smooth, he recorded a multi-platinum selling album that consisted of him reading the “B” section of the phone book with smooth jazz playing in the background.
- Billy Dee Williams is too suave for the internet, because it only slows him down. His machismo travels at the speed of light.
- If your mother is at least 18 years old, there is an 92.7% chance that she’s had sex with Billy Dee Williams, or at least entertained the thought at some point in her life.
- Billy Dee Williams speaks fluent tang.
- “The Mack” was originally intended to be a biopic about Billy Dee Williams, but the director insisted that Billy Dee’s life is just a little too amazing for any one film to truly do it justice.
- Billy Dee Williams considered moving into his own version of the Playboy Mansion, but he ultimately decided that it would cramp his style.
- Billy Dee Williams likes hanging out with Chuck Norris. That way, if he wants to seduce a man’s wife, Chuck can deliver a thunderous roundhouse kick to the guy, thus making her a widow. Then, Billy Dee will proceed to comfort her with some sweet lovemaking in this difficult time.
- Billy Dee Williams is so cool, he could tell people to start calling him William Dee Williams and the world would respect his wishes.
- Although Billy Dee Williams and Chuck Norris enjoy each others company, Williams’ mustache and Norris’ beard once battled to a hard-fought stalemate for three days straight.
- There is no such thing as “rape” in Billy Dee Williams’ world. If Billy Dee humped you, YOU WANTED THAT SHIT!
- Billy Dee Williams’ has a bionic pimp hand, just like Anakin Skywalker.
- Billy Dee Williams first words were “Colt 45. It works every time”.
- During the 1970′s, Billy Dee Williams only wore suits hand sewn by virgins, held together by gold thread.
- The phrase “Ass, gas or grass; No one rides for free” was allegedly coined on Billy Dee’s private jet.
- In Latin, the name Billy Dee Williams translates to mean “Lord of the Wang.”
- Your new girlfriend is old news to Billy Dee Williams.
- See what I’m saying? Make sure you forward this entry to everybody that you know. I want this list to do the same thing for Billy Dee Williams’ career that the Chuck Norris list did for his!
lmao!!! that is some great stuff so much better than the chuck norris one….i will send it to my pals…
pamoja!!!
Vin Diesel’s is funny, too LOL!
That was hilarious!
Colt 45…works every time!
wow that list was super long~ but hella funny!
i like that list alot.
“God originally issued 11 Commandments, the last being “Thou shalt aspire to be like Billy Dee Williams someday”, but Moses was a player-hater and conveniently left that one out.”
lmaooo do people still think he is sexy? he is waaay before my time.
Nice. While we’re talking Billy Dee, check out this classic:
http://www.guerillasports.com/article.php?article=465
LOL!!!1 good sh*t, h0mie… Billy Dee is the reason I prefer colt .45 over heineken
Yes, Billy Dee is smooth as silk, and he look like he could probably talk the panties right off..but he doesn’t seem like the type to grab a bytch by the throat, slam her into a wall and make hot passionate monkey love to her while choking her out…not that I like that sort of thing, I’m just saying….
Can I get your permission to pass this hilarious shit around?
Yes. Pass it around to as many people as possible! I want t be responsible for a Billy Dee comeback!
There is no such thing as “rape” in Billy Dee Williams’ world. If Billy Dee humped you, YOU WANTED THAT SHIT!
LMAO @ that one and the one talkin bout he made a record reading the “B” section of the phone book with smooth jazz playing in the background!!!
Pure genius, Leon!!!
You.are.a.mess. LOL
LMAO! Nigga this shit is the guts.
“Billy Dee Williams is so cool, his entrance into any room on Earth is preceded by a slight breeze. ”
That’s excellent.
I cannot STAND Billy Dee, but that was funny. I’m a big fan of the Chuck Norris facts so I’ll pass these on too.
What is wrong with you fool LMAO @ Brad Garrett he is very HE-BEASTISH!
Is that your daddy? He can be mine!!! I HEART BILLY DEE!!
Rotflmao!!!!! And why had I never realized his name was William Williams??? BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!
I think Billy Dee is my daddy. Calling my mama right now!!
“Mahogany” was the first movie I saw by myself, and my pubescent self walked away with wet panties…………..
OMG!!! I am DYING over here! MY RIBS!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!! You are funny ass dude!
Nice blog….
I wanted to be Mahogany because of Billy Dee….
I also wanted to speed through galaxies with him and Hans Solo in Star Wars.
There’s something about his voice that will make a lesbian drop her drawers.
You a out of control. LMAO!
I love Billy Dee… I met him a couple years ago and asked to take a picture with him and all he kept saying over and over was… you’re just a baby… you’re just a baby… I dont know what he was implying but I got my pic…lol
You should be very proud of this list!