…So sit ‘cho punk ass down in front of a computer and read my blog!
I never really noticed how much the amount of people coming here drops off during the holidays. I guess most of my readers really are people who happen to be bored at work. Since most people not named Leon are off today, enjoying day-after-Christmas sales and things of the sort, this pretty much leaves my die-hard readers and my fellow internet addicts. Thank you for choosing to visit ListentoLeon.net in favor of smut, fantasy football or celebrity gossip. I truly appreciate it.
I shall reward those who stopped by here…with shameless self-promotion. I will be performing with YAP Improv this Saturday, December 29, at Jammin’ Java. The show will be from 2-3:30 PM, and Jammin’ Java’s directions are as follows:
227 Maple Ave E,
Vienna, VA 22180
If you ever wondered “Is Leon really this funny in person?” then this is your chance to see the ignorant brilliance that spews forth from the mind of the Hustleman, live and in person. That way, you’ll have no doubts left. Plus, it’s (for the most part)clean comedy, since people will have their kids in the audience. I am forbidden from using the following words onstage:
Motherf*cker; B*tch; Nigga; B*tch-@ssed n*gga; Motherf*ckin’ sons of b*tches; Sh*t; Bullsh*t; God d*mn it; Hoe; Hoe-biscuit; Hoe-ass-b*tch-assed punk motherf*cker; Slut; Slut-bucket; Wolf-p*ssy; Raggedy roast beef-looking p*ssy lips; Stank p*ssy-assed b*tch; Any other use of the term p*ssy, not in reference to a cat; T*tties; Cunnilingus; Fellatio; Anal sex; Ass; Clit; Leather donut; Meat curtains; F*ck stick; Balls; C*nt; Snatch; Trim; Cooter; ect…
You get the idea. Sinbad, Bill Cosby and Wayne Brady as opposed to Chris Rock, Dane Cook, and Andrew Dice Clay. Tickets are$10 for adults, and $5 for kids under 12.
Also, my friends Jason and Vanessa over at Vanson Promotions asked me to spread the word about their New Years’ Eve party at Mayorga Lounge. these are the same promoters I worked with for my birthday party, and the same venue, so it should definitely be a nice time! Check www.vansonpromo.com to find out the details. I may be spending New Years with my cousin from out of town, but if things change, this is where I’ll most likely be.
Oh yeah, I’m hard at work and almost ready to finally release my debut album, “Dry Humpin’ On Your Momma’s Couch.” I’m finally figuring out this audio software, so next week should be quite memorable over here! Stay tuned…
LOL at 5 bucks for kids under 12. Our younger generation just lost lol
ListentoLeon is for the kids! They can learn a thing or two from me about comedy! As long as I don;t say anything from the list above, they’re safe!
LOL @ “Wolf p*ssy!!! No matter how many times I’ve heard that term, it still makes me laugh :)
Just to be clear…if I come on Saturday that doesn’t make me a stalker, right?
Wolf-p*ssy; Raggedy roast beef-looking p*ssy lips;…oh WOW. No really…wow.
Though you can’t say those particular words, you still gotta keep in mind the content. That would be hard for me. I have extreme potty mouth, my mind is always in the gutter and most of my comments are titeering on TMI…
BTW, ever since I saw Super Bad, I’ve taken a severe liking to the word fallatio… When recapping my weekend to a certain few, I commonly use words like fallatiating, fallat-othon, fallatio-rama. And if my “misery loves company” boss didn’t reject my vacation this week, I’d probably be at home a falat-polooza right now…
Nope @ kayellejaye. As long as you don;t throw your panties onstage, or try to kidnap me!
@ Passion, sorry for such nastiness. I have to get it out now, so I don;t corrupt the young’uns.
@ Ms. T, I watched Friday After Next yesterday, and i think Day Day said it in there. I laugh every time I hear anyone say that term!
@ Marleaux, I need a girlfriend like you!
Oh wait, I do need to mention that when I refer to the word, it’s not only me giving, but actually receiving…
leon loen you always keep me from molly whopping somebody’s ass at work or on the way to work. thanks for keeping me laughinguntil i cry . and ont that note i’m gonna hitt this salvina and drink me A nice glass of 1738 .
@ Marleaux, that’s the way it’s supposed to be! It should ALWAYS be about give and take ;)
Godfatherm I’m glad I keep you from committing acts of violence. Enjoy that1738. I’m over here jealous of you and that bottle right now!
Vanson??? Did they get that whole coat check thing squared away?
they won’t let you say meat curtains??? or cooter??? sacrilege!!
Merry Christmas all late and good luck with your show on Saturday!
Wow Leon. That censoring took about 1/3 of your material. But I know you’ll recover! All the best on your show!
I’m reading. I’m late, but I’m here.