It’s Dr. Martin Luther King Day, and in honor of this great holiday, I wanted to post a list of funny observations that I saw on Facebook today. My friend Faraji has a group on there, and one of their topics of discussions is titled “Reasons To Get Your ‘Black Card’ Snatched.”
It’s basically a list of things that could get your “blackness” called into question if you are guilty of any of these transgressions. It’s meant to be taken in jest, so all you overly-sensitive folks, take a chill-pill and relax. I only came up with a few of these on my own, so I’ll label my contributions with an asterisk. The rest were the ones that made me smile, or are just flat-out quoted for truth. So, without further adieu, here is The List of Reasons To Get Your Black Card Snatched:
- You think African is an actual language*
- You cannot act out at least 2 scenes from Coming To America
- You think Don Cornelius was an Italian mafia boss
- You let your white friends say nigga when reciting song lyrics
- You actually believe Lil’ Wayne is the greatest lyricist ever. I like Wayne…but let’s be serious!*
- You’ve never drank Kool Aid*
- You don’t know what Lil’ Hugs/Quarter Waters are . Here’s a quick visual aid:
- For that matte, you’ve never had orange drink. Not orange “juice”, but orange “drink”*
- You can’t name any other pioneers of the civil rights movement other than Dr. King and Rosa Parks. *
- You have never eaten soul food
- You never saw The Five Heartbeats or The Temptations miniseries
- You credit every black invention ever to George Washington Carver*
- You snap your fingers when you dap people up.
- You believe Bill Clinton was our first black President. Bill Clinton is about as black as Justin Timberlake.*
- Your self-hating ass will impregnate ANY disgusting wildebeest of non-black ethnicity, thinking that you’ll have “some pretty babies” *
- You’re never attempted to drink a 40 oz, or anything else from the bum-juice section of the corner store(malt liquor, Boone’s Farm, MD 20-20, etc)
- You don’t know what the “Black National Anthem” is*
If you have contributions for the list, please feel free to share in the comments section. Remember, CHERISH YOUR BLACK CARDS!
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I got one that’s gonna get alot of people leon : If you never had a fried bologna and cheese sandwich
Fried Balogna(or as I still spell it, “baloney”) was my SH*T!!! I used to make it all the time when I was little!
lol.. who the hell snaps their fingers while giving a dap. thats a def no no.
Some people actually do that dumb shit, thinking they’re cool for putting something extra on it. It’s a sure way to end up labeled a bamma-ass loser-ass reject as far as I’m concerned.
I went to a WuTang concert on Friday with some white people from work (strike1). Before the show we went to one girls house to drink 40′s (strike2) After drinking about 20 ounces of Steel Reserve and whatever else I had at the show, I may have overlooked a few N words. And all this on the great Reverend Dr’s birthday. I guess I’m out. That’s cool, I’ll reapply in February.
I wrote about the Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing last week and was SHOCKED at how many people didn’t know it.
I recently threatened to revoke my ex’s Black Card when, during a casual conversation, he mentioned that he was home alone watching “Fried Green Tomatoes”
mmmmmm, fried bologna sandwiches! Takin’ it back!
with an orange soda lol
With some Now & Laters and a pickle.
I got some.
If you think Bid Whist is pancake mix.
If you think the electric slide was a ride at Chuck E Cheese.
If you never raced on the street barefoot (cause it made you faster)
If you never been to or participated in a wedding where someone actually jumped over a broom.
If you never ordered a large glass of water with lemons and sugar packets.
wonderlove hit it the orange soda or feel me on this the red Kool aid and this one never had a box of lemon heads or alexander grapes .
lol.. i think as long as orange soda or pineapple soda is involve u are good.
don’t get me, but I’ve never had kool-aid before.
as for the dapping someone then snapping your fingers, idk about that one…a lot of brothas i went to school with in the AUC did that, i never thought anything of it!
okay….for the most part my ‘card’ is safe, but what the heck are Lil’ Hugs/Quarter Waters?
lol WOW! is all i can say.and while reading this i thought bout the VH1 special where they where giving white ppl “Ghetto Passes” but umm i don’t remember shit from Coming to america….damn shame on myh part and you need to be Slapped If you haven’t seen Five Heartbeats…that is like a classic. *sighs* i got some of my own
*If you’ve never heard of a corner store
*if you’ve never heard of a wish sandwich
^lol….
@ SassyGyrl, they are those little plastic barrel/grenade-looking bottles of tasty artificial flavored and colored drinks.
@ Lala, “I wish I had some meat to put up on that bad boy” LOL Bruhman was the best!
How about you ain’t black if you don’t eat chicken at least 5 times a week! I loves me some “chickens”. Don’t care where it come from, how it’s made, but as long as it used to say cluck, cluck we’re GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!