Paula Abdul Is Still Making Music?!

The other day, I received an e-mail promoting a new album by Randy Jackson of American Idol fame, called Randy Jackson’s Music Club, Vol. 1. At first, I thought to myself “Why should I give one absolute ounce of a damn about this album?”    

Then, after about 17 seconds of soul-searching while I chewed on a bite of my Pop-Tart, I noticed that the first single is actually by Paula Abdul. That got my attention, because Paula has never been known to be a vocal powerhouse. If this song flops, it’ll be sweet retribution for all of those no-talent people who perform during the first week or so of the show, stinking up the spot and embarassing themselves and their entire families on live television. They can feel secure in knowing that Paula got rejected, too!

But alas, the William Hungs of the world will have to find some sort of healthier way to deal with their angst. Paula’s song sounds just like all the other mind-numbing stuff you hear in the Eurotrash “International Night” section of most nightclubs. Randy even hooked her up with a little bit of T-Pain style synthesizer action, so her vocals are on par with the likes of other notable vocal lightweights like Cassie and Brtiney Spears. Here’s a link to listen to the song, titled Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.

Don’t get me wrong…This is NOT a recommendation. It’s just that I expected a lot worse. I was prepared for “Horrible“, but instead, I ended up with “Neutral“, so I can’t hate on Paula and Randy. Especially since the album has guest spots from Anthony Hamilton, Van Hunt, Three Six Mafia, Joss Stone, Jason Mraz, BeBe Winans, Mariah Carey, Hezekiah Walker, Keke Wyatt, Travis Tritt, Richie Sambora, Angie Stone, Elliot Yamin, and just about everyone else in Randy Jackson’s rolodex. I think Kool Moe Dee and Right Said Fred are on the remix to that Paula Abdul cut. Randy went all-out.

I have to hear this album first, though. It’s either going to be suprisingly decent, or a giant, mixed-up congomerate of fossilized monkey crap. Only time will tell…