I want to extend my personal congratulations to Gary Coleman upon reading the news that he secretly got married in August.
Just when everybody assumed Gary was FUBARed(f*cked up beyond all repair, for those unfamiliar with military terms) by his recent eBay decisions to take photos of himself autographing stuff for sale on eBay. It wasn’t his decision to sell his personal effects that caused people to worry. It was the fact that Gary Coleman appeared to be the ashiest human being on God’s Green Earth in those photos! Google them, if you don’t believe me.
Seriously, the man looked like he’d been punching bags of flour all day. Ashy Larry from Chappelle’s Show would have looked at Gary Coleman and been like “Damn son! You need some moisture in your life!”
Little did anyone know, Gary’s been getting all the moisture he can handle in the form of a brand new young wife! I’m proud of main man for settling down with a 22 year old. If anyone deserves some nice, hot young trophy wife lovin’, it’s Gary Coleman. The man has been through a lot, so he’s entitled to have some in-house sex and companionship.
Plus, this gives hope to all of the vertically-challenged men of the world. If Gary could find one that towers over him, then you just might be able to as well. I think I’m going to get a phone number from the first pretty six foot tall woman I see this weekend, in honor of Gary!
AND she’s white. LOL! On the real though, I’m glad he’s happy and shit.
WOW….well there is truely someone for everyone…good for him and I guess her too…hmmm not 100% sold on this but hey I guess.
Actually, word on perezhilton is that she was the one who coordinated his eBay sales. Supposedly, she didn’t even know who he was. But if my shorts were selling for 4Grand on eBay, whoever was around me seeing this would be trying to wife me too!
Leon, please! You ain’t got no trouble finding women; stop lyin’!!! LOL
I saw her photo now…She kind of reminds me of The Undertaker from WWE wrestling…but still. Congratulations Gary!
He’s gonna kick my ass if I ever end up in the same place as him…I’m fighting DIRTY. I’ll be damned if I let Gary Coleman whup me!
Yeah, but this excerpt from a different story on this scares me:
“Not that the newlyweds don’t have their differences. “We may go a week and not speak to each other,” he says, while she claims, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”
She adds, “I don’t like the violence.”
Have u seen the broad?? Mr Ed got smaller gums. somebody give that girl a bag o’ oats. Then again, we are talking about Gary “ashy assed-short assed-what u talking bout m’f******-got the nerve to have an attitude-washed-up” Coleman. I wish her luck.
Next Thursday Madam’s Organ Natalie’s birthday dude. See u there!!
“Plus, this gives hope to all of the vertically-challenged men of the world.”
You’re in luck!!!!! lolol.
I prob shouldn’t be making fun of you if i’m trying to get the top spot on your blogroll huh… :D
I wonder what kind of game he was spitting to her. It doesn’t seem like he needed to do too much…
Umm like am i the only one who wouldn’t marry his ass if he was like a Trillionaire? Like dude..he’s not attractive. But i guess that don’t matter to her. {never seen a picture} soo she’s white. Figures…..i would never marry a guy is as washed up as him. {But i guess this is where i insert my congratulations} Congrats To them!This means ppl like me 5’8 can marry dudes like Yao Ming!
“punching bags of flour all day” hahahahha…. i wanted that signed gamecube too…. possibly the most random object on ebay
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