Usually, I love it when the weather is nice this time of year. However, sometimes, this leads to unexpected problems. Like say, the first sighting of those evil DC residents known as waterbugs. As previously defined on this very site, these are nothing more than extremely large, Roger Clemens steriod addict roaches that can fly if properly motivated.
I guess one particular waterbug wanted to take a field trip since it wasn’t all that cold today. All I know is, I came upstairs at my place, and I saw the biggest waterbug I’ve ever seen at the top of the steps. Now, I’m the farthest thing from a b*tch, but I won’t lie, I turned my ass around anheaded back downstairs to find something to kill it with before it had a chance to get pissed off and come after me! That thing was big enough to walk on a leash! I refuse to get tossed up by a damned insect.
The worst part about it is, once I finally gave myself enough of a pep-talk to go after it, the son of a biscuit-eater took off and got away! That is the most unsettling part. All that fear turned to homicidal bloodlust, mainly because I was mad that I let the unexpected Teenage Mutant Ninja Roach sighting kind of scare me. Then, to have that filthy hooker get away…I’m over here simmering in my anger right now. I took a break to type this, but I’m not resting tonight until I catch a motherf*ckin’ body in DC like the Notorious BIG was talking about on that song! Steriod Waterbug: I’m sending you on a one-way trip straight to Hell, b*tch!
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Oh. My.
I’ll try to find a silver lining for you– at least you didn’t strike at it and MISS. Now THAT will make bugs mad, because then they KNOW you’re out to get them.
I saw a big a$$ spider in my apartment once. I tried to hit it and missed and it got away.
Guess who woke me up at 5:30am the next morning crawling across my face? Uh huh yep, that kneegrow didn’t get away again, but…. *SHUDDERS*
So, when you do roll up on homie, just. don’t. miss.
Leon and ALove, ya’ll got me crackin’ up over here! LOL
BTW, Leon, did your face recover from the Obama skit?
Stories like this make me glad I live on the 4th floor of my apartment….
Bug-less and fancy free…so far anyway.
man…last summer the neighbors were doing construction in their basement and GUESS what that rustled up? MICE. PLURAL. And guess what’s the only thing on this planet that I have a mortal fear of besides doctors… mhmm… I almost had twenty heart attacks that week!
You are so right. I lived in GA and i found one in my bedroom before i was going to work. I was soooooooo horified of this thing. Ya girl couldnt even kill em. I politely closed him in my bedroom and went to work. I was hoping i could find someone to kill him by the time I got off. Needless to say when i came home he was dead. I guess he couldnt take the heat. Next problem. Who was going to pick him up?
At least it wasn’t in your house. I had one in my house when I was an undergrad and I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t know where it was hiding. I kept waking up at night thinking the water bug would fly on my forehead or something. Luckily, my roommate caught it trying to get into a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He killed it immediately. Nobody touches the CTC…
lmmfao! I’m like laughing over here. B’cuz i have a waterbug experience. But umm dang not a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Roach ” now that right their made me laugh. But i do that all the time if i see bugs.or i’ll see one stop in my tracks let that b*tch do what ever or go what ever..then like i get a green light and i proceed. I am not a bug killer. But one i saw this HUGE HUGE! idk dumb lookin spider at the top of my basement steps..and i called every tom dick and harry to kill that b*tch. Finally i called my mother and she killed it. *Sighs* its okay leon to give yourself a pep talk. we all need one.
I remember when I was living in Mississippi, and I was trying to fold my clothes, and a big ass roach came FLYING down from the ceiling. I hit my head against the wall trying to keep that fucker from hitting me in the head. I felt like I was being murdered.
Luckily, my cats and dogs kill the roaches/water bugs before I have to deal with them alive. :)
Yo, man if it were that big it was from TEXAS!!! I’ve seen some HUGE insects down here. I remember once when I was younger I saw a COCKROACH on the corner selling bean pies and fruit in a bow tie. He was telling about how he used to terrorize kids in the hood but ever since he was introduced to the Honorable Elijah Bughamad he converted and changed his life.
yo i HATE THOSE THINGS!!! since i moved to dc i am literally scared shitless when the months start to get warm…they’ll be all up IN your shower and sinks…YUCK!
if u feel like that, u should read what i wrote about Waxman, Henry. aint that a bomber or an iceberg?
I finally gave myself enough of a pep-talk to go after it, the son of a biscuit-eater took off and got away!
lmao
I hate!!!! waterbugs, cockroaches, etc…..
I usually let them go about their business and pray they will just disappear and find some other place to dwell….
this was a very funny story…..