As much as I like reading the print version of The Onion while on the way to or from work, I may have to be more careful when I do it. The reason I say this, is because of all those American Apparel print ads that they run on the back cover of the site.
Not that I have anything against images of racially-ambiguous models in almost innocent, yet oh-so-slutty poses. In fact, I’m putting the link to their ad gallery in the post later on since it’s my civic duty as a man to pass along any and all discoveries that are technically legitimate, but can serve the same purpose as traditional smut, with a little imagination.
My problem is, when I’m minding my own business on the train, smiling at some funny article in The Onion, I’ll see old ladies looking at me like something is wrong. Then, I’ll flip over the paper and see ads like the ones in the above photo and realize that these women must have thought that I was looking at smut in broad daylight, grinning with perverted glee! Come to think of it, any one of those photos could be on the cover of a flick with a name like Horny Coeds in Spandex or something along those lines.
So to American Apparel, keep on making the ads. Also, keep making those comfortable shirts, so I can keep selling my designs on them. To the good folks at The Onion, please start placing the American Apparel ads on the INSIDE cover or something, so I don’t have to respond to old ladies staring like “What the Hell are you looking at? This is just a newspaper! YOU get YOUR mind out the gutter, Grandma!”
To the fellas(and ladies that like ladies), here is the link to the American Apparel Press Center ad gallery. These photos make me want to go hit up an “international night” at one of the local clubs/lounges and find a slim sexy thang, possibly with a slight resemblance to Cassie. Then, take her back to my place so I can talk her into stripping out of everything except her brightly-colored tights while performing fellatio and letting me take Polaroids of the whole thing. Who knows? American Apparel may see the pictures and hire me for their next ad campaign!
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Yeah, my bou Sippinewineman also thinks those ads are pornographic. I think he sees them on the back of The Washington City Paper. Hey, The City Paper and The Onion are free rags man, they got to get their money some kinda way!
Perhaps you will too, what with your latest “photo spread” idea.
L
The photographer’s name is Terry Richardson, and he’s known for provocative/boundary-pushing photos.
It always amazes me where men find porn. It’s a talent I tell ya!! Y’all kill me.
Here’s what these women might actually be saying in these pics:
Photo 1. Muf***a, I know you ain’t planning on leaving them funky ass drawers on my carpet. Nasty bastard!! Do you even try to wipe your behind, damn!!
Photo 2. I told that simple b**** I wanted Purple Passion on my toes. That b**** got that Lustful Lavender shit all over my shit. I’ma get Rosetta Stone, learn Vietnamese or whatever the f*** they speak in that shop and go in there and cuss her a** out. I f*** u up longtime!!
Photo 3. Looking over my shoulder seductively? Man, I’m doing wall press-ups to build up my arms. I’m not getting any older and that chicken wing swing that some women get is not for me…….46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
Photo 4
I swear to Almighty I would kill a mufu*** for a french fry or a piece a bread right now. This no carbs Atkins shit is kicking my ass. Let me ease my left butt cheek up so I can pass this gas. I better look like a damn Victoria Secret model when I get done or there’s gonna be some furniture moving.
Just some thoughts!
scantily dressed women in ads is common, but the girls in the ads on the back of the Onion always look ridiculously underage
admittedly, i fold the city paper inside so the back page doesn’t show. there’s nothing worse than being silently judged on the metro by some old school woman with less than modern sensibilities.
on another note, never did i think the drugface look would be all the rage in fashion photography. i’m bout to hit up the streets in search of my future portfolio building project lol.
I co-sign this blog right here. As a steady purveyor of porn(the real kind), I always try to find ways to incorporate it into my regular daily routine. Thanks for the tip.
P.S. Check my blog when you get a chance, http://www.thebarbershopblog.blogspot.com.
I always want to take a bath, spray some air freshener, take a douche…something after looking at American Apparael ads…they are so trashy!
Their website currently has a topless woman, and by topless I mean you actually see it all in at least 2 photos.
It is no more than soft core porn they’re using to sell their clothing. It wouldn’t bother me, except that it is only the WOMEN who pose in that way. If you look at the male models they are photographed looking far less sexually provocative. Even the men’s underwear photos are pretty tame compared to the photos of the female models. It started off with a little nipple beneath sheer shirts and has escalated to photos of women bending over in teeny tiny thongs…..ew!
I might add I still buy clothes from them…ahahaha :P
American Apparel ads are intentionally designed to look like 70′s porn, and in some cases child porn…I use their ads when I’m doing Body Image presentations and discussions on hyper-sexualized depictions of women and girls. Those crazy looks you are getting are just what American Apparel marketing execs are going for. I’ll show an advertisement to a class and be like, “Can you tell me what’s for sale?”…they never guess “the t-shirt”..sad
YES!!! i spent 75 buck there and got the free calendar…bitches were nekked all ova!
-KB
omg, i know what u mean!!!!
i was reading the onion too and there’s this slutty lookin girl on the back with booty shorts on that could possibly have been underwear!
everyone in my family was lookin @ me like i was crazy!
i think those ads should be a bit less-slutty-looking
I thought that was Cassie too…