…The more people want to “give” me money.
Who knew that the key to winning the European Lottery was to start new mailing addresses? Apparently, they’ve been trying to reach me at my Project Mayhem address for three months. I’ve only had the damned address for about three weeks now. I think I’m going to answer one of those e-mail scams, then tell the sender to meet me next Thursday over by the Big Chair in Southeast because I have a briefcase full of $100 bills waiting for him.
Since the stupid scams people come up with do not require much brainpower to concoct, I’m sure at least one of these so-called ”representatives from the Bank of Africa,“ ”Widows of murdered dignitaries” or “Wealthy cancer patients looking to donate a fortune“ will be greedy enough to make his or her way over to DC for the cash. If so, that person deserves every bit of the videotaped ass whupping that awaits.
I really have to acquire some hacker skills. I want to be able to scare the hell out of the next person who sends me a scam e-mail, by using info on their computer against them. I’ll be like “If you’re REALLY a wealthy nun who escaped some kind of war-torn Sudanese rape camp, how come you were just on eBay, selling fake Jordans? You don’t even have the matching sizes! What the Hell is anyone I gonna do with a 6.5 and a 13?! I suggest you go on back to looking at your little smut videos on BangBros, and never e-mail me again. Don’t make me come find you, Jacob Merriweather at 107 Clack Street…”
Wouldn’t that be fun? Oh yeah, for the sake of all things true and good, DO NOT visit BangBros from your work computer, or the one your wife or girlfriend uses. If you ignore that last sentence and end up getting fired, slapped or some horrible combination of the two, don’t say Leon didn’t warn you.
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You never cease to crack me up. Seriously, you need a sitcom or something.
Anyway, on the quite serious topic of scamming idiots out of their money, you should read a little, er, quite long article published a couple years back: http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/05/15/060515fa_fact
It’s amazing (and pathetic) how easily people can be fooled…wow, my comment is a downer. Quick, Leon, say something funny!
I saw a dude in FedEx sending 200 dollars to some African nation. He told the people who worked there that it was shipping and handling money for the new laptop he was getting. Apparently, the “African Royalty” wanted a copy of his social security card as well. The people at FedEx told him it was a scam, but dude said they were hating and he left.
All I could do was shake my head…
Hilarious.
Because I have a south african name I get a lot of solicitations to get involved with all kinds of refugees trying to come to the US…through myspace and facebook. What kind of refugee has time to sit up on some MySpace?
LMAO @ the refugee on MySpace! That’s classic. I got those emails all the time on yahoo. Is it a yahoo thing? It’s crazy, I’m supposed to send him money and leave all my info and then get money….yeah right.
Marissa: That was an interesting read. Thanks for the link. It’s hard to believe people are still falling for this shit every day, isn’t it?
It would be awsome to just hunt some of these guys down someday, play along in their game long enough to figure out where they are and then pay them a visit.
I’m with you Robin. I wonder what kind of person sits around doing this. Do they work at a bank? ISP company? 7-11? Library? hmmm….
LMAO! If you could hack them, that would definitely be funny as hell…
I received one of those, “I’m dying and want to leave you this money if you promise to give it to charity” emails, and I wrote back that sure, they should send it on, because I was looking for some seed money to fund my Kiddie porn enterprise… I never heard back from them…
When I opened my last yahoo account I was getting Irish Lottery emails all day long. Then one day it stopped. It drove me nuts for about 2 weeks. Glad to hear I’m not the only one.
merriweather is my family name.
im happy to see bangbros is a pop culture powerhouse
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