The Supreme Court Stifled My Swagger
Posted by ListenToLeon on
June 27, 2008
I’m laying low right now, thanks to this Supreme Court decision that says DC’s handgun ban is unconstitutional. To become a world-class sh*t talker on my level, it’s inevitable that you’re going to encounter haters and enemies along the way. I mean, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
Well, technically, you can make an omlette without breaking a few eggs, if you buy a carton of Egg Beaters…
That totally screws up my metaphor. Sh*t.
Either way, there are plenty of people who want to stifle this Hammertime Stealth Ninja Swag of mine.
Now that these ass-clowns have easier access to guns, I need to come up with a strategy to keep the player-haters I’ve embarassed over the years from conspiring to get me. I might have to invest in bulletproof EVERYTHING. Bulletproof hats. Bulletproof socks. I might even get a red bulletproof d*ck patch, like the one dude from Cameo used to wear.
God forbid someone should ever try to shoot me in the nuts…but just in case, I’d be prepared! Plus, it would be quite the conversation-starter.
What do you think the impact will be from this Supreme Court decision? I really can’t call it…but I do know this much: I’m re-hiring my bodyguard Sugarfoot, and instructing him to frisk anyone who comes within 5 feet of me until a pattern is established around these parts.
14 Responses to “The Supreme Court Stifled My Swagger”
Won’t change a thing. The law does not allow regular citizens to carry concealed weapons out in public. The cretins who were doing that before the law was struck will still be doin’ it. And if you were inclined to have guns in your home–like I was when I lived in the Trinidad section of NE D.C.–then you already had ‘em anyway, regardless of what the law said.
So, my pusillanimous brother, as you were, man!
By anonymousnupe on Jun 27, 2008
Egg beaters aren’t eggs, they are fake eggs. Your metaphor stands.
By Lemmonex on Jun 27, 2008
@ Anonymousnupe, first off, f*ck you for basically calling me a b*tch.
Secondly, f*ck you for making me go to Dictionary.com just to find out that you called me a b*tch! LOL
@ Lemmonex, thanks for saving my metaphor!
By Hustleman on Jun 27, 2008
LMAO at Larry Blackman (think thats his name) with the red briefs or whatever that was
By Leigh on Jun 27, 2008
Once its official, i might go out and get a handgun myself. With all the money issues everyone is having right now - folks are breaking into houses more often and even during the day out of desperation or just plain stupidity. And since my ADT bill was the first one to get cut back - I might need the extra “assistance” if someone decides to come thru my window…..
By CurlyQ on Jun 27, 2008
Unlike the Supremes, you and I know that most burglaries occur between 3:30PM and 5;00PM — when kids are out of school and before adults get home from work. With lots more pistols in DC homes, there will be lots more handguns in the hands of DC youths. You know what that means.
Be sure to invite those five Supreme Court Justices to memorial services in your neighborhood. Tell them to bring teddy bears to leave on the street. Their addresses are here:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/supreme-invitation/
Sorry I can’t joke about this today Leon, but there are too many piles of teddy bears sitting out on the sidewalk.
By Mike Licht on Jun 27, 2008
@ Mike, I feel you. Even though I approached it comedically, gun violence is serious business, and something I am very concerned about. Especially since most situations where a person would need to use a gun to protect him/herself don’t seem to occur inside people’s homes. All this is really going to do is put more guns out there, in my opinion.
@ CurlyQ, get a mean dog or something. I don’t want you tripping over your curls and accidentally shooting off a nipple or something ;)
By Hustleman on Jun 27, 2008
I am from North Carolina and almost everyone in my home state is in love with guns. It doesn’t really have any affect on the crime level within the state’s metropolitan areas. I think violence is linked to the type of people who live in certain cities. Guns are just an extension of the violent mentalities that some people already possess.
By Jabari Talib on Jun 27, 2008
I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read you say. Killin’ me!
By anonymousnupe on Jun 27, 2008
Damn, the Supreme Court gave passive aggressive dude bigger nuts.
What is you goin do, Leon? LOL
p.s. Where’s my bear?
WL
By WonderLove on Jun 28, 2008
well from this libertarians perspective
they should have
i dont call 911
on my 11 acres, couldnt find if the did come
not to mention
guns dont kill people people do
its the soical not the material
what if hammers were being used would they be banned too
By rawdawgbuffalo on Jun 28, 2008
I think I’ll get something designer, with a platinum trigger and a bejewelled handle (or whatever you call the thingy you hold it with). I also want a puff of fuschia smoke to come out each time I fire. Oooh, Oooh and I want it to be like an iPod so I can have different music playing depending on who I’m shooting. A gun camera would be great too. Then I can have a body-count gallery to share with friends. Those Supreme Courters are so Super Duper smart.
By The Common Share on Jun 28, 2008
@ The Common Share, I’m with you, might as well accessarize.
To Leon, you might want to think about calling in the Dark Knight, he’s loaded with all the bullet proof clothing you will ever need. You might even be able to hit him up for the Batmobile, cause I highly advize against you catching the rail with all the temptation that may surround you.
By nightschaos on Jun 29, 2008
imma move to dc and open a funeral home cuz yall niggaz is crazy enough without guns. yall cats where like 4 colors, white, black, grey, dark grey, and light grey. and yall call the rest of the world “bama”. now yall got guns. its gonna be trouble.
By Cincy on Jun 30, 2008