Metro Smartrip Phone Sex

I had another “This type of outrageous stuff only happens to Leon” moment earlier today. To give the full explanation, I have to rewind back to Saturday night, when I somehow managed to lose my Smartrip card on the way back from picking up my iPod. As you can guess, Saturday was not much of a good day for me.

So this morning I spoke to the folks at my job about my benefits. I was told to report the missing card so that I could get a new one with the remaining value on it, minus the $5 replacement fee. I then went to the Smartrip site to find out how to report it missing. This is when the story gets crazy…     

The number to call in order to replace the card is 888/762-7874. Apparently, I got a number or two wrong when I dialed it, because all of the sudden I heard crappy B-movie saxophone music on the other line, accompanied by some woman’s breathy voice saying “Release all your inhibitions and leave them at the door.”

I actually yelled out “WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS BULLSH*T?!” and hung up the phone as quickly as possible. Then, I looked back at the computer screen, and made sure that I was very precise and deliberate in my second attempt dialing Smartrip. I did this, in order to make sure that the mistake was on my end. Had Metro set me up to make calls to some smut line on the company phone, I would be quite upset! The only comfort to be found in that scenario is the fact that I’d be able to legitmately threaten a lawsuit and get some settlement hush-money.

So now, after explaining the situation to my boss(and subsequently being made fun of), I share this horrible story of dialing gone wrong with you. Be careful when reporting your lost Smartrip card. The difference between a wrong digit or two could also be the difference between employment and unemployment!