I wouldn’t be suprised if The After Party Hostess writes about this too, since it’s about the mayor of her hometown, Detroit. Still, I feel compelled to say these next two words and three letters: Damn Kwame! WTF?!
I may not be anybody’s choice to represent a major city as mayor, but I do know that these same rules that apply for corporate America are definitely applicable for a public servant in such a powerful position:
- You don’t sh*t where you eat. Married or single, it’s not a good move to have sex with peope who work in your office. Especially not your Chief of Staff. Bill Clinton’s ill-fated, on-the-job B.J. and the ensuing sh*tstorm should have taught you that much.
- If you ARE going to cheat on your wife with the office jumpoff, don’t use the company phone to set up trysts via text message. That goes for e-mail, too. Hell, anything in writing! As you’re now learning, a digital paper trail is worse than an actual one, because it’s harder to escape. I know this better than anyone. Thanks to this blog, I’d have to thwart a terrorist attempt to steal nuclear warheads, rehabilitate 2,000 crackheads into productive members of society, discover the Fountain of Youth AND retrieve a golden thong knitted by Indonesian virgins from a mountaintop guarded by dragons and yeti before I’d ever have a realistic chance at running for any kind of office.
- Finally, if you’re hemmed up in all kinds of legal mess, remember the Number 1 rule of corporate America: C.Y.A. – Cover Your Ass. You knew you were in some sh*t. Now, due to an apparent oversight, you’re gonna be spending a night in jail. I’ve never been to the bootyhouse, but I have been detained in a holding cell for a couple of hours. I can say this much: There is no such thing as a short jail sentence! Ten minutes in a police station on the other side of those bars is too long! I wasn’t in a real jail, and no one tried to pick a fight with me or assail my butthole, but the smells in that place alone make seconds seem like minutes. Minutes seem like hours. Hours seem like days. I swear, this one dude smelled like someone cut off his armpits, shat in them, then sewed them back on without washing them or applying deodorant.
It’s disappointing, because all these places kept writing articles about Kwame Kilpatrick when he first got elected, touting him the “Hip-Hop Mayor” due to his young age and enthusiasm. Little did I know, he was going to start living up to some of the negative cliches that abound in mainstream hip-hop today. I didn’t want to see all of this happen to the guy, but he obviously wasn’t ready for a position of that much magnitude. Hopefully, all of these troubles will lead Kwame to do what it takes to become a more mature husband and father. If not, then it’s pretty sad to think that someone who rose to the top so quickly could find ways to piss it all away, almost at the same rate of speed.
Tweet
“I’d have to thwart a terrorist attempt to steal nuclear warheads”
You mean that whole war of the notes with passive-aggressive dude? LMAO
As for Kwame…lock his ass up! Shit, and his chief of staff isn’t even that pretty anyway!
# If you ARE going to cheat on your wife with the office jumpoff, don’t use the company phone to set up trysts via text message. That goes for e-mail, too. Hell, anything in writing! As you’re now learning, a digital paper trail is worse than an actual one, because it’s harder to escape. I know this better than anyone. Thanks to this blog, I’d have to thwart a terrorist attempt to steal nuclear warheads, rehabilitate 2,000 crackheads into productive members of society, discover the Fountain of Youth AND retrieve a golden thong knitted by Indonesian virgins from a mountaintop guarded by dragons and yeti before I’d ever have a realistic chance at running for any kind of office.
ABSOLUTELY DEAD!!!
Stop hating! LOL
She’s not ugly. Besides, it had to be something for Kwame to risk everything in order to tap that. She’s probably got skills in the bedroom. I’d be willing to bet that the woman can suck George Washington’s face off a quarter, or something like that
“PALM IT LIKE THIS!” Lol!
On the real, he was just to “cool” to be a public official. I’ve always said public servants should be:
1. Old
2.Ugly
3.super smart
4.have no desire to become “trendy” or “popular”
fo real!
Kwame is a landslide shoe-in for the “Nigger of the Year” award…and I don’t mean that in a good way!
“I’d be willing to bet that the woman can suck George Washington’s face off a quarter, or something like that”
That would require a Hoover, Leon. Not that I’ve tried it before…
He studied under Mayor-for-Life Marion Barry, didn’t he?
Gotta feel sorry for the city of Detroit. Just as they try to recover from KWAME Kilpatrick, here comes KWAME BROWN….
@ Caviar Jones, he’s up there battling it out with Reverend Jeremiah Wright for that one!
@ G.Mo, talk about adding insult to injury! They can hit the clubs of Detroit, get drunk and trick off all kinds of $$$ together!
@ Wonderlove, would you LIKE to try? ;)
@ Anonymousnupe, at least Marion Barry was smart enough to stay in office for over a decade before the sh*t actually hit the fan!
@ Lani, interesting points…but ugly, uncool people abuse power too sometimes!
Poor Motown…
Whateva! Detroit may have it’s problems, but it still has sentimental value for me, especially for birthing beautiful babies not unlike myself!
For real though, if any town needs good leadership, it’s Detroit. I was so sad last time I went there…for a metropolis, it’s like a ghostown…
I don’t live there. I wasn’t even born there. I did my 12 years and was out. As for KK:
Lessons that can be learned from Kwame:
1. Don’t party, socialize, associate, or sit nest to with people who have nothing to lose. They will tell on you and sell you out for a 2007 Impala and a nice sweater!
2. Don’t lie in court and get caught.
3. Don’t use city insurance money and try to convince people that it doesn’t impact the city. A whole lot of people are NOT stupid. But then there are those that are. Insurance is insurance. What happens when you get in a car accident and Geico has to fix your car? Your insurance goes up. This FACT is conveniently ignored when folks talk about the officer suing.
4. Don’t send text messages. Technology is not the adulterer’s or politician’s friend.
5. Don’t leave the country when you are out on bond! He didn’t go to OHIO, the outer banks, Martha’s Vineyard, or even a US territory. He went to another country. He’s clearly dumb as rocks. He deserves a night in jail for being stupid.
Now, let me go start looking at property in Detroit. I can buy it for $17 today and I’m sure it will be worth $300,000 in 2013. Some developer will need it to build expensive condos!
BTW, he and the chick knew each other when they were younger. She was a mistress, not a jump-off. Jump-offs are short-term. She was long-term. There are others too. She’s just the one who got caught up in scandal.
now leon…i just got a new job and the staff here are significantly older…thanks to you they now think i’m crazy for laughing so hard while staring at the computer…
pamoja!!!
those captions are classic! and you, sir, are a nut!
kwame is cool as box fan, but he is a arrogant fuck to. who does these things? though im single, when i have strip parties at my mansion i make sure my jump offs dont know where im at. this fool some how allowed his wife to pass his security and punch the stripper chick in the mouth. thenthe stripper was mysteriously was found stankin a few days later….
Did you see his mom on TV talking about “don’t let them talk about Yaw’s Boy!” ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have nothing.
*hangs head in shame*