Navy Recruiter Attemps Jedi Mind Trick

Last week, I was approached by a couple of Navy recruiters as I was headed to the bookstore. They seemed nice enough, but I have to call them out today because they tried to play mind games on me. Let me explain what I’m talking about…

It was a man and woman in uniform walking towards me, as I made my way to Borders. The fellow looks directly at me and says “What’s up man!” with an excited tone, as if I were someone he knew and hadn’t seen in awhile. Then he raised his hat a little, and looked me in the eye, the way long-lost friends would.

At first, I thought to myself “Who is this guy? I mean, he sort of looks like Josh the local party promoter, and a little bit like the ‘You’re in good hands with Allstate’ dude, but I really don’t remember him.”



That’s when I remembered that people who beg for money outside the liquor store in my neighborhood sometimes use that same tactic: the strategy of pretending to know someone before asking them to give you something. It’s the wino version of a Jedi Mind Trick. The more someone thinks that a prior rapport has been built, the more likely they’ll hear out your sales pitch, presentation, request for spare change or whatever it is that you’re shoveling at them.

Once I figured out what was going on, I played along for a bit, since I knew that there was no way in Hell that I’d be enlisting. The lady asked what I do for a living, and if I’m happy doing it. I told them that I am a graphic designer, writer and in general, a funny guy. Then I told them that I’m too old to old to enlist. After they asked my age, they genuinely seemed shocked to find out that I’m 30 years old.

I can’t lie to you all, that felt a little good. I get happy now when people ID me to buy alcohol, so to know that these two recruiters thought I was prime material to kick some terrorists teeth in overseas in the name of Cheney and Halliburton, I mean, freedom and liberty, is definitely flattering. I guess all this working out is starting to pay off. I now posess badass Navy Seal swagger!