Last week, I was approached by a couple of Navy recruiters as I was headed to the bookstore. They seemed nice enough, but I have to call them out today because they tried to play mind games on me. Let me explain what I’m talking about…
It was a man and woman in uniform walking towards me, as I made my way to Borders. The fellow looks directly at me and says “What’s up man!” with an excited tone, as if I were someone he knew and hadn’t seen in awhile. Then he raised his hat a little, and looked me in the eye, the way long-lost friends would.
At first, I thought to myself “Who is this guy? I mean, he sort of looks like Josh the local party promoter, and a little bit like the ‘You’re in good hands with Allstate’ dude, but I really don’t remember him.”
That’s when I remembered that people who beg for money outside the liquor store in my neighborhood sometimes use that same tactic: the strategy of pretending to know someone before asking them to give you something. It’s the wino version of a Jedi Mind Trick. The more someone thinks that a prior rapport has been built, the more likely they’ll hear out your sales pitch, presentation, request for spare change or whatever it is that you’re shoveling at them.
Once I figured out what was going on, I played along for a bit, since I knew that there was no way in Hell that I’d be enlisting. The lady asked what I do for a living, and if I’m happy doing it. I told them that I am a graphic designer, writer and in general, a funny guy. Then I told them that I’m too old to old to enlist. After they asked my age, they genuinely seemed shocked to find out that I’m 30 years old.
I can’t lie to you all, that felt a little good. I get happy now when people ID me to buy alcohol, so to know that these two recruiters thought I was prime material to kick some terrorists teeth in overseas in the name of Cheney and Halliburton, I mean, freedom and liberty, is definitely flattering. I guess all this working out is starting to pay off. I now posess badass Navy Seal swagger!
Tweet
Thanks for making me smile today:)
Sounds like another asset you can add to your “Book of Leon.” :-D
You and passive-aggressive dude should enlist…you can teach others how to fight with notes instead of guns! Pure genius! LOL
BTW…how long have you been going to the gym before you saw your results?
LOL @ Wonderlove…
Entire countries covered in post its and notebook paper…
LOL @ KaNisa….I want pastel colors!
You’re 30!!!??? I aint know you were older than me maaaaaaaaan….
They tried this when I was in JROTC back in HS. The recruiters would come thru talkin about how “easy” military life is. Yea. It’s easy if you consider car bombs and life in the Iraqi desert a cakewalk.
Actually you aren’t too old to enlist… Some services like the Army are taking people as old as 42 years old (!!!!).
I am kind of surprised that the Navy recruiters were doing this.. Generally the only ones that are that aggressive are the Army recruiters (they are the ones that really need to use tactics like this Navy and AF never have problems meeting their numbers).
@ G.Mo, now I OFFICIALLY feel old!
@ Daniel, they said I wasn’t too old, but they kind of figured out that I wasn’t signing up, so I think that was the point at which they decided to give up.
@ brran1, I had a chance to do contract work in Iraq back in the day, but I didn’t want to be the first black dude on tape getting beheaded! Sh*t ain’t a game out there…
@ wonderlove and Kanisa, I’m going to make a special post-it note, just for the both of you!
@Tracy, I already put it here, so it can’t go in any book, unfortunately.
@ Desiree, glad I could make you flash that pretty smile of yours :)
Maaaaaaaaaaaan… you know damn well I’m older than yo monkey azz… got’cha with the Jedi Mind Trick… LOL
you know i love a man in uniform..as much as the next girl…
but id miss you..sooo even if they are taking oldies these days…
please stay here…
xoxo
You told them you are a funny guy? ROFL…….
OK the line – I was prime material to kick some terrorists teeth in overseas in the name of Cheney and Halliburton, I mean, freedom and liberty, is definitely flattering. Oh too too funny. This is my first time on your site. Got the web address from the black blog awards site. U r too funny a very good look. This will not be my last visit
This reminds me of a John Stuart Mill saying:
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
That some people think that it is beneath them to serve is insulting, sad and downright embarassing.