The other day, I finally joined the rest of the free world and saw The Dark Knight. Overall, I thought it was a great movie. The only problem to me, was the film’s length. I am planning to write the director a letter, requesting that his next damn-near 3 hour movie come with a brief intermission, like theater productions.
I must request this intermission, because expecting folks who dare to drink one of those overpriced, kiddie pool sized “medium” sodas for sale the theater to make it all the way through the film without a piss break is a bit cruel. Once the effects of the soft drink from hell start to kick in, it sucks. When a movie is as good as The Dark Knight, you do not want to miss a single scene. Since theaters do not give you a TiVo button, and you cannot ask the guy on the projector to press rewind, whatever you miss while taking a leak will have to wait until the DVD is released. Or until you run into the bootleg man…Whichever happens first.
So Christopher Nolan, next time you’re making a long-assed Lord of the Rings length movie, please consider the plight of those who need to pee. Just when I thought the movie was over, it was like another one began. I was thinking to myself “I really have to go, but I don’t want to miss anything. Too bad this film is longer than ‘Roots’.”
Because of your long-assed film, I had to run full-speed through the theater and take the fastest bathroom pit-stop known to man. I didn’t even take the time to dry my hands after washing them, because I was that anxious to rush back to my seat and see what the Joker was up to next. Seriously Chris, next time you make a film, please keep it normal length, or incorporate a piss break. What’s 10 more minutes, when the film is already pushing 3 hours?
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You shoulda just cracked open the back emergency exit door to the theater and relieved your sleeve in the alley running behind there. I mean, it’s not like pissing on alley rats is a foreign concept to you, right? And this time I hope you weren’t in such a hurry that you forgot to tuck in your wallaby before dashing back through the Majestic. You could put an eye out with that thing (or get hot popcorn grease on it) while steppin’ over folk to get back to your seat, brah.
THANKS FOR THE WARNING ABOUT THE MOVIE, I’M FINALLY GOING TONIGHT TO SEE IT.I WILL AVOID THE BLADDER BUSTER SODA AND GO TO THE LADIES ROOM BEFORE THE MOVIE EVEN IF I DONT FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO GO I WILL DO WHAT MY MOM USE TO SAY AND TRY ANYWAY. IM GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO AVOIDED SEEING THE MOVIE WHEN THE THEATER WAS JAMMED PACKED RISKING YOUR EXPERIENCE WILL BE RUINED BECAUSE OF LOUD TALKING TEENAGERS, LAUGHING AT SHIT THATS NOT EVEN FUNNY OR THAT RUDE BIG 6’6 350 POUND PERSON WHO SITS IN THE MIDDLE WHO SHOULD HAVE SAT ON THE END BECAUSE HE GETS UP EVERY 20 MINUTES AND BLOCKS THE SCREEN, AND AND PEOPLE WHO ALLOW THEIR BABIES TO CRY BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO CHEAP TO GET A BABY SITTER OR THEIR KIDS SO BAD NOBODY WILL KEEP THEIR BAD ASSES. BUT FOR REAL THANKS FOR THE WARNING!
What’s up with the yelling?!? I can’t even read all those caps. Makes my eyes hurt.
Leon- I am muy please to hear that you took the time to wash your hands!
Nupe- “wallaby”? LMAO
sorry for the “yelling” i was trying to multi-task at work and was typing a dont touch people shit in the company’s fridge note and forgot to take the caps off. :)
Ppl still buy stuff at the movies? That’s news to me. Usually my peeps and I hit up Golden Corral or TGI Friday’s or somewhere before going to the movies. That way, no1 has to spend $17 on two medium sodas and a large popcorn.
Either that or we get one of the girls to carry their “life sized purses” and we hit up CVS or Rite Aid before the movies.
Either way, you’ll still make out way cheaper IMO.
Maaaan, I love that movie. Christian Bale didn’t even take his shirt off and I STILL liked it. See, that’s how powerful that movie was. No nudity but I still gave it my stamp of approval. :)
That was truly the World’s Fastest Piss. Gold medal worthy. I still don’t know how you did it.
And…how did anonymousnupe know we were at the Majestic? Were we being stalked?
Okay, you saw it.
Here’s my question:
Did you understand WTH Gary Oldman said, just before the credits rolled?
That’s why I don’t do soda.