Last week, a few friends of mine discussed what new sports we think would be successful at the next Olympics in 2012 over a few drinks. Here’s what our alcohol-fueled panel of experts came up with:
Slapboxing
A ghetto staple, what other sport starts off as good-natured horseplay among friends, but can easily escalate to full-scale violence as soon as a few chicks walk by and start watching? Besides, if slapboxing becomes an Olympic sport, I’m coming out of retirement and training for gold! Need I remind you all of the legendary ListenToLeon hand speed?
Beer Pong
It’s fun to play, and watching the skill and aim of each player decline with each drink(or become more accurate in some cases) could make for some entertaining TV. Plus, it’s a sport you and your guests can play along with at home! The only point of debate would be which beer to use. In the US, beer of the cheap variety usually gets the nod. Then again, I can’t see countries like Germany and Belgium being cool with having to drink Milwalkee’s Best. Something tells me that “The Beast” is not going to make the Olympic cut.
Spades
If ESPN can show poker games, then damn it, the Olympics can show games of spades. They can have translators over at the table to interpret the international sh*t-talk. Imagine the possibilities?
Team France: “I only need one more book. It looks like you Americans are about to meet your Waterloo! Take that, Yankees!”
Team U.S.A.: “I have both Jokers, so I don’t know what type of French crack you’ve been smoking. Gimme those books, put on your little punk-assed Monica Lewinski beret and get the f*ck off my table, you little crepe-eating b*tch!”
Mixed Martial Arts
I’m sure this one actually has a chance to happen, since the sport’s popularity has been growing worldwide. Plus, every country on Earth has inhabitants who pride themselves on thinking that they can beat up anybody on the planet. This means, lots of Olympic beatings, blood and bruised egos on live television. The only drawback is the graphic nature of a lot of the fights might scare away mainstream networks like NBC.
Baby Oil Bikini Wrestling
Women only, please.
“So You Think You Can Dance”
This would easily be the cheesiest sport in Olympic history, yet, people would faithfully tune in to watch it. I can almost hear Bob Costas now: “Lan Po of Thailand just served his way into Medal contention…”
Let me know what you think of these suggestions, because if enough people approve, I’ll send an official petition to the Olympic Governing Body.
Baby Oil Bikini Wrestling
Women only, please.
ROFL my stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!! Oh! The look on your face as you commentate with Bob Costas when a n*gga’s oily balls falls out his G-string! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL
LMFAO!! I was just sending out Big Ups 2 my Jamaican massive re: Usain Bolt’s latest ass whupping of the competition when I came across this piece of comedy. You make my days in my Republican corporate hellhole more enjoyable. To all my Jamaican bredren “bup, bup” *fingers in air stimulating gun fire* Running from and dodging gunshots backa a yard continues to produce the best in athletic sprinting. All jokes aside I am proud to be a Jamaican.
hell yeah hell yeah it would go down like this
or this
I want to be a part of the Olympic trials for the Spades competition please :). Me and my partner just got finished whuppin up on our fiancés last night!