The office that I work in is one where you need to use a key to get into the bathroom. Yesterday after eating lunch and drinking a giant bottle of gatorade, I felt the need to go do #1. To my dismay, BOTH of the bathroom pee keys were gone! This meant that not only was I locked out of the bathroom, but I potentially might have had to wait awhile before getting in there if both keyholders are doing #2 instead of #1.
So I walked over to the restroom, hoping that someone would exit and open the door for me. I waited for about 10 seconds, which in “I have to pee” time feels like 3 hours. Then, I knocked on the door. When I got no answer or response, I assumed the worst: Both keyholders must have been doing #2. Dropping a deuce. Stankin’ up the spot. Whatever you want to call it.
Luckily, some guy in the office across the hall saw me literally walking in circles thinking about that super-sized bottle of gatorade and how I’ve never ever hated electrolytes as much as I did at that particular point in time. I asked the office guy to use his key to open the bathroom door for me, and thankfully, he did.
Once I made it into the restroom, everything in the world became right again. I didn’t even notice the smell from the dueling doo-doo-ers in the stalls across from the urinals. All’s well that ends well. Thanks again, anonymous office man with a bathroom key!
i thought for sure you were gonna say you peed your pants.
-KB
HELL NO! It’s never THAT serious!
I never understand workplaces where a key is required for the men! What’s that about?!
Did you hear a harmonious chorus of angels as you finally proceeded to make your bladder gladder?
And sense we’re talkin’ pee, isn’t it odd how you might have to pee just a little bit on the way home, and then the closer you get to home the worse it gets? But then as soon as you cross that bathroom threshold and see the porcelain station it becomes this raging alien trying to burst its way through your loins? Is that some kind of “Pavlov’s Dog” stuff? And why am I even asking you, of all people?
Of course I meant “since.” So much for my HU Mass Media edumakation.
Hey my mom majored in Mass Media at Hampton….
ok that wasn’t the point. Glad you was able to let it flow in the bathroom and not on the side of the building, in some random sink, on yourself, in the hall, etc… :)
The bathrooms at the office I go to for my fellowship has “pee keys.” I don’t understand the rationale behind having keys to a bathroom with multiple stalls. I just don’t get it.
“I didn’t even notice the smell from the dueling doo-doo-ers”
OMG! LMAO!!!!
Bathrooms should not be locked. I mean you really don’t want to leave someone who has to use the bathroom in the hall. Nobody wants to clean that mess up.
Keys? To the bathroom? Where grown folks work? And there is no sign saying “Amoco” anywhere in sight? What in the blue fuck?
MissJay, your mom and I were proly in the same class at HU, too!
ROFL…….now I have to use the restroom…..thankfully all I need is a code.
I always thought restroom keys were gross..what if the previous person didnt wash their hands?