While chewing on some Double Bubble gum a little while ago, I thought about a couple of interesting, yet ultimately pointless things. My first thought was coming to the realization that Double Bubble only holds it’s flavor for a maximum of three to five chews, no matter how many pieces you put in your mouth. After chew number 5, you may as well use it to help plug a hole in a flat tire or something. You will be chewing on a sticky piece of rubber at that point.
The second thought was that it really is almost Halloween. Parents get to take their kids outside in cute little costumes and constantly regulate their candy consumption for about a week and a half afterward to keep them from some kind of sugar overdose. Single men get to enjoy seeing all kinds of women taking advantage of the one day of the year where they can dress as slutty as they want in the spirit of Halloween without anyone passing judgment. The only people that Halloween sucks for, are the ones with signs like these in their front yards!
On the bright side for convicted perverts, at least the Halloween sign isn’t going to be quite as bold and obvious as the one in the picture above. This time, folks who don’t watch the news may not realize that the house with no candy actually belongs to a convicted rapist or child f*cker. I can hear the conversations now:
Somebody’s Mom: “That is a cute little pumpkin sign! Where did you get it? Wal-Mart?”
Sex Offender: “Nope. Department of Corrections sent it to me”
Somebody’s Mom: *Note to self: It’s time to move. FAR FAR AWAY!*
The way things are going over here lately, I’m probably going to get protested by a bunch of sex offenders for writing this. I may as well get ready to receive a letter or reprimand from the Healers United Managing the Pressure. Also known as, H.U.M.P.
All convicted rump wranglers aside, I want to know what you all have planned for Halloween, and what you plan to wear while you’re out. Leave me a comment and let me know!
Hey there Leon, I’m exercising my inner sex kitten and going as a sexy courtesan in Marie Antoinette’s court (thin powdered wig, mask, fan– y’know, like “Amadeus”). Dress is up to *there* with thigh-highs to make up the difference (almost).
Masquerade ball this weekend, various Halloween parties next week.
*think
I was going to dress as Stevie Wonder but don’t feel like getting my hair cornrowed and wearing beads. I’ll just put on a blond wig, pop a bottle or two and go as confused black woman” LOL
“Harvest Night” at church for the kids in the Ivy City/Trinidad community.Then I’ll
…As I was saying before my boss walked up, Then I’ll proly hit Club Love around the corner, with some of the other saints from church.
Psyche.
I have a wedding rehearsal to go to. This will be the second Halloween we can’t take the kids out. Last Halloween I was packing up the last of my stuff to move the next day.