Leon’s Worst Movies Ever List
Posted by ListenToLeon on
November 17, 2008
On my Facebook page, I placed the above photo of Stoney Jackson recently to amuse my friends. Unfortunately, this led one of them to mention the abomination that is the movie Trippin’ since Stoney played a stuttering thug in the film.Trippin’ was easily one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen, so just the thought of it made me cringe. I’m the type of guy who can watch bad movies, just to laugh at how bad they are, but occcasionally a film comes along that is so horrible that it flat-out angers me for stealing an hour or two from my life.
I next wondered how many other films were so bad, that it pained me to watch them. As a public service announcement for the benefit of your retinas, I have compiled a list of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, in no particular order:
Who’s That Girl
I woke up one morning at my cousin’s house after a night of heavy drinking, and this movie came on HBO. I was too tired and hungover to get to the remote control, yet I could not seem to tune it out and go to sleep. Being a helpless witness to this film is similar to Chinese water torture, inflicted by someone with an annoyingly exaggerated city-girl accent. I didn’t drink again for two months after that ordeal.
Trippin’
This film struck a crippling blow to the career of “Bud” from The Cosby Show. I’m sure he doesn’t even put this on his resume when auditioning for new roles. I made fun of it enough in the first paragraph of this entry, so I’ll leave it at this: There are naked breasts in this movie, which makes about 45 seconds of it worth watching. Everything else should be damned straight to Hell.
I’m ‘Bout It
The film that marked the turning point where any rapper whose album went Gold began to beleive that they too, could make a straight-to-DVD Hood movie. I wanted to like it, because the soundtrack was one of the my favorite albums to come from Master P’s No Limit Records in the late 90’s. Alas, this movie was crap, and there is no way to sugar-coat it. It’s like whomever wrote it decided to copy their favorite scenes from other movies, and re-create them with bad actors in the middle of a rough neighborhood in pre-Katrina New Orleans. Picture Scarface meets Good Times, and you have I’m Bout It.
Killa Season
Shitty. If anyone asked me to sum up this movie in one word, I would use that one with no hesitation whatsoever. The man spit in a little girl’s face, and that wasn’t even the most f*cked up part of the film. Excuse my French, but it’s impossible to discuss Killa Season without cursing in disgust. It is the perfect storm of ignorance and poor production quality.
Gigli
When I tried to watch this, I thought to myself “It can’t be as bad as people say it is.” I mean, I even watched Mariah Carey’s Glitter and thought she was a little bit unfairly criticized for it. Yes, it sucked, but it wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be. Therefore, I thought that maybe Gigli might have some slight appeal to it when I came on cable late one night.
I thought wrong.
I could not make it through that entire film. I tried, twice. Both attempts ended in me cutting off the television, and pondering if this movie led to Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s breakup. It is safe to assume that there is no way that either one of them wants to even think about the unspeakable horror that was Gigli. Having sex with a constant reminder of the worst thing you’ve ever done has to have taken quite an emotional toll on the both of them. So when you really think about it, Gigli is life-alteringly bad.
Jeepers Creepers 2
I only saw this one because I had free advance screeing tickets. I knew it would be bad. That said, this was the first time I’d ever gone to a free movie, and still felt like I paid too much. First of all, the monster looked like some kind of half-assed Batman mixed with a little Freddy Kruger. It scared no one. Plus, the director kept finding reasons to show young guys working on a farm with their shirts off, which gave the non-horror scenes all kinds of softcore homo-erotic undertones. My girlfriend at the time alleges that she noticed movie critic Arch Campbell walking out of the theater because it was so bad. When someone eho gets paid to watch movies can’t even stomach something, then it’s horrible beyond measure.
Let me know what you think of my list, and please add suggestions that you feel should be added to it in the comments section below.
52 Responses to “Leon’s Worst Movies Ever List”
“I’m Bout It” was so so so tragically terrible.
Speaking of “Trippin’”, I forgot all about that film. I was just watching Cosby Show last night and thinking, what happened to that guy?
By Jazzy on Nov 17, 2008
I’ll agree w/your list of lousy, however, Eddie Murphy’s ‘Golden Child’ has GOT to be added to the list. Just thinking about that sh*t makes me all pissed off for “stealin’ an hour or 2 from my life.” (LOL!)
By tracey in Ohio on Nov 17, 2008
Blade Trinity gave me an ever burning hate for Ryan Reynolds, because I had such high expectations based on the other two.
By Herb on Nov 17, 2008
@ Herb, I still haven’t seen the 3rd Blade, but I heard it was crap. Ryan Reynolds married Scarlett Johansson, right? If so, then I’m hating on the guy for a totally different reason!
@ Tracy, I made it through the Golden Child, even though it wasn’t a good movie. Eddie Murphy’s made far worse, like Pluto Nash.
@ Jazzy, I’m Bout It set the tone for so many shitty films to come…It truly was tragic, in that sense.
By ListenToLeon on Nov 17, 2008
I’m Bout It was terrible. Alot of people in my small town was talking about it like it was a masterpiece. I finally got a copy of it from a friend and was mad after watching it. I couldn’t believe they praised that movie.
Two more straight to DVD hood movies: 3 6 Mafia Choices. I lost a couple of brain cells watching that movie. Also the Cash Money Millionaries movie. I think it was called Hot Boys. I had no words after.
Add Rollerball with LL Cool J to that list.
By thoughtsofsoutherngal on Nov 17, 2008
sliver - sharon stone at her best, which is every other actor with a modicum of talent at his or her worst.
mercury rising - alec baldwin has done the schwety, bloated villian with the bad dye job once too many times.
fled - really? no…REALLY?
oh my…just noticed there’s a baldwin brother in all three…someone explain to me why these fools are still working?
By nikki indigo on Nov 17, 2008
You can’t have a worse list and not have Batman and Robin on there. Four words: Nipples on the Batsuit
By Kriss on Nov 17, 2008
Interesting. I thought Ryan Reynolds was absolutely hysterical in Blade 3. He stole the whole movie. Had me dyin’.
Add to the list “Baby Geniuses,”(I think they actually made 2 of them!) “Shark Boy and Lava Girl,” and that phony-lookin’ King Kong movie with Jeff Bridges. See, the kid-movie producers pretty much have you by the gonads. They know that if you’ve got kids you’re obligated to take them to their crap-tastic flick since there’s so little fare for the kiddies in the first place.
Pootie Tang was pretty bad, too, but in a hilarious way. Wanda Sykes played a hooker trying to get with Pootie…for free. And now she’s come outta the closet as Lebanese! Ah, them Hampton girls!
By anonymousnupe on Nov 17, 2008
@ Kriss, I can’t believe that I forgot Batman and Robin! That totally belongs on the list!!!
All of the other movies mentioned, I’ve never seen.
@ thoughtsofasoutherngal, I haven’t seen Choices, but I had the soundtrack! I did see the Cash Money movie called “Baller Blockin’”, and while it sucked too, I could kind of laugh at how low budget it was without feeling like brain cells were dying, one by one.
@ Anonymousnupe, I read about our fellow Hampton alum today. She was funny in Pootie Tang. That movie was only a little bit funny, but it amused me in a “look at how bad this is” kind of way.
By ListenToLeon on Nov 17, 2008
Hands down, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins had me wanting to scratch my eyeballs out… it easily could’ve made this list along with:
Freddy Got Fingered - not only was it not funny, it was weird to boot… I guess that’s Tom Green in a nutshell.
Class Act - this is House Party except Kid has dreads - who do they think they’re fooling?
and finally…
*dodges tomatoes*
Purple Rain - the only reason why it’s a classic is Appolonia and the soundtrack…
By Mr. Smart Guy on Nov 17, 2008
You forgot Batman and Robin cause the shit was so traumatizing you suppressed it. I swear that shit drove me to drinking. Joel Schumacher has been on my hit list ever since. Seriously, if he catches a bad one…i’m at the top of the suspect list…
By Kriss on Nov 17, 2008
Gigli was so horrible. And . . . .I’m ashamed to say that I used to own it. It was $4 and I just wanted to see if my DVD player was hooked up right, so I bought a DVD. I just don’t get why they continue to get J. Lo to act. She can’t ACT! She can dance. She’s pretty. Sometimes I like to think she can sing. But don’t never ever ever ever ever give her some lines to read.
Oh, and EFF YOU re: Who’s That Girl?
I love that movie! Ok, so no, I just love Madonna and the song “Who’s that Girl?” But you gon’ leave Madonna alone or we gon’ fight. She redeemed herself in plenty of ways since then.
*humming Who’s that Girl?*
By Tierra on Nov 17, 2008
has anyone seen joe vs the volcano with tom hanks??? that movie was the worst!
By tayeski on Nov 17, 2008
Maybe if I had seen I’m Bout It first, it would’ve saved me from the fuckery that was Baller Blockin’. Ugh.
By kidada on Nov 17, 2008
Crossover…staring Wayne Brady
By Leigh on Nov 17, 2008
Please add the trash that is SoulPlane
By MissChriss on Nov 17, 2008
My vote is for Hav Plenty.
By Desiree A. on Nov 17, 2008
Ok Baby Geniuses the 1st one I have to say was an alright movie. Only for the fact that I was extremely young at the time when that came out.
Batman and Robin I have to say throw that out the window cause after I saw Dark Knight, I immediately deleted it off my DVR.
Now Pootie Tang I understand for some. But not me.
BUT SOULPLANE, My Jesus when I saw that up there, it felt like a federal offense. To me that was some rib hurting funny ish. That felt like you just threw next friday up there.
But 1 Movie I hate the most is Jaws: The Revenge.
By Jeff on Nov 17, 2008
No the fuckery that should be added to the list is The Cookout. Shit was the worst. Maaaaaaaannnn who said Soul Plane?!?!? That shit was FUNNY!
By Ms. Butta on Nov 18, 2008
“Glitter” w/ Mariah Carey. I win!!
By The Common Share on Nov 18, 2008
Man, how in the hell can yall forget “Bossn Up” with Snoop Dogg? Man, it was like “The Mack” watered down. And let’s not forget “Undisputed” 1 and 2. Come to think of it, Wesley is a repeat offender…
By caviar jones on Nov 18, 2008
WOW… somebody said Purple Rain…. if we’re gonna say a Prince movie, let it be Graffiti Bridge, not Purple Rain… we all know Prince can’t act his way out of a wet paper bag, but DANG! Purple Rain is classic just because Morris Day and Jerome are HILARIOUS!
By lilmzbabygrl on Nov 18, 2008
Purple Rain is a classic, just like “The Last Dragon” but if we gonna go 80s, lets say that “Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo” is hands down the worst movie of the 80s. HANDS DOWN! The fact it came out the same year as the original breakin lets you know what time it is!
By caviar jones on Nov 18, 2008
House Party 3. some crazy dude shows up at the party and inexplicably eats the record the DJ is spinning.
By jkc on Nov 18, 2008
Undisputed was an good film….even if the only good reason to watch it was for Ving Rhames!!!!Original Gangsters with those 1970 throwbaks Pam Grier, Jim Brow, Fred Williamson!!! Who the hell told theym they could come back and do a movie 25 years later!!!With her confession out…now I understand the calamity that was the Wanda Sykes show!!!
By Ladymd on Nov 18, 2008
I’d have to add “Malibu’s Most Wanted” to that list. I saw it in theaters (on a date, no less), and was furious that I’d wasted two hours of my life. (The date wasn’t so good, either.)
By Liebchen on Nov 18, 2008
Oh! Whoever said Hav Plenty is complete right! I saw that movie when I was 10 and the fact that I could tell it was a bad movie then let’s you know something.
And whoever said Golden Child, I respectfully interject “youse a lie!” That movie is a classic in my book.
I would also have to add Freddy vs. Jason to this list.
By MYGoodness on Nov 18, 2008
“The Avenging Disco Godfather”
Hands down, the absolute biggest waste of celluloid.
By xyz on Nov 18, 2008
@ xyz…you read the title “The Avenging Disco Godfather”, chose to see the movie and now you complain. You can’t be serious?? LOL!!
By The Common Share on Nov 18, 2008
LOL that was my facebook profile pic for at least 3 weeks earlier this year.
Yeah, I knew Trippin’ as “keepin it real in the nine eight” (or whatever year they said) for YEARS; never bothered to find out the real name.
Any BET Lackuster…I mean Blackbuster movie, recently I’ve seen ‘Uncle P’ and ‘Holla’, which is a horror movie.
The worse movie I’ve ever seen is ‘Soul Vengeance’ It’s about a dude who uses his penis to hypnotize women and kill dudes who cross him.
By AJ on Nov 18, 2008
‘Who made the potato salad?’
By AJ on Nov 18, 2008
I may add
“Out Kold”
“I got the Hookup”
“Soul Plane”
“Malibu’s Most Wanted”
By Gil on Nov 18, 2008
I never ever heard of these… luckily :)
By Diti on Nov 18, 2008
OH AND YOU FORGOT GLITTER!
By Diti on Nov 18, 2008
A little late to the party but that’s okay because I AM THE PERSON THAT INSPIRED THIS BLOG ENTRY!! Show me some love, Leon :-)
Anyway…
Whoever said “Hav Plenty” was terrible, is a fool! Hav Plenty was better than most indie films for starters. And it really is like a reality film movie lol. Hav Plenty was some real life shit.
“I Got the Hookup” is classic, folks. Sorry LOL You have to have a special heart and really in the mood for foolery to enjoy that movie. That’s like saying “Pootie Tang” was terrible…you just gotta get your mind right for those types of movies.
Ok, so here’s MY list of terrible movies:
Trippin (as noted earlier)
Foolish - that horrible mess with Eddie Griffin
Ride- Malik Yoba and Uncle Luke, just knowing those two negroes were gonna be in the movie should’ve scared me away
House Party 3 (and beyond)- Anything after Class Act was a done deal for Kid & Play
The Honeymooners- I definitely thought this remake would be pretty funny since it had Mike Epps and Cedric the Entertainer, but the shit turned out to be quite horrible…so horrible that I had to go to the ER after watching it (no, seriously lol)
And last but not least…
Song Cry- I’m sorry but are we really expected to believe that Q-Tip could kill Fat Joe in real life or on film?! And then Mary J as his mama? like, WHAT?!
By c. gabi on Nov 18, 2008
Anything that comes on BET LackLuster is suspect off the top, including that movie with E-40…”Obstacles.” And Pootie Tang was the ish! Suppa tow my damey…
By caviar jones on Nov 18, 2008
I need you to go on and add the ridiculous film “Max Payne” to this list. I saw this movie 2 weeks ago on a date and I actually was offended that the dude took me to that crap. The only reason I didn’t get up and walk out was because I was trying to be nice. That movie was absolutely horrible. Simply craptastic.
By PBG on Nov 19, 2008
HOUSE PARTY 4. I got suckered intop watching that. It is a Chris “stick-it-in-your-booty” Stokes production with of course IMX playing the starring roles. Bad from opening credits to closing credits
By Allawishis on Nov 19, 2008
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With me
Bug
I’m Bout It
I got the Hook Up
Straight out of Brooklyn
The Cube
Girl 6
Hanging with the Homeboys
Freddy Got Fingered
Doomsday
Queen of The Damned
O
Judge Dredd
SAW 4 & 5
The list goes on!
By northeast78 on Nov 19, 2008
*pisses on Killa Season DVD*
No homo…no homo
lol
By Big Homie on Nov 19, 2008
Ok so I have to type this all over again LOL
@AJ I saw Holla, the worst movie EVER. Who didn’t know the girl wasn’t really dead? Yeah I spoiled the movie but I just save yall from wasting your time so you can thank me LOL.
I don’t remember seeing Trippin’
Breaking 2 was my sh*t if only for the dancing. And Shabba Doo’s fine self.
House Party 3 and 4, don’t like either. I can sit through it but if I had to choose I wouldn’t. Now Class Act was my movie! “Damita, I thought you was gonna play with my frog?”
Speaking of House Party 4, how old is Alexis Fields? She’s been a “teenager” for the past fiftyleven years I don’t think I’ve ever seen her play an adult on a movie or on TV.
I’m sorry Malibu’s Most Wanted was funny. So was Soul Plane and Pootie Tang.
@xyz…WTF is “The Avenging Disco Godfather”? Yeah I think you asked for that one LOL. I wouldn’t have watched it.
By MissJay on Nov 19, 2008
OMG the movie Sprung was the worst ever!
Oh yeah…umm Pootie Tang was very funny, but I am very immature.
By dana on Nov 19, 2008
Gigli Sucked hairy moose balls, but there
s a movie that’s worse.
Recently, I saw “Surfer Dude” with my GF. The only reason I went was that we got free tickets…I still feel ripped off. I want my 2 hours back!
By homeimprovementninja on Nov 19, 2008
I actually liked Who’s That Girl. Then again, I about 15 when it was out. Perhaps I should watch it again as an adult.
My vote goes to: Moulin Rouge
By Babs on Nov 19, 2008
I hated, HATED, hated the newer version of Carwash. I remember being in the movie theatre just MAD that I had to sit through that crap (cuz I was there with friends). And I was M-A-D people were laughing too loud for me to fall asleep so I didn’t have to watch the rest of it.
By K.R. on Nov 19, 2008
Ed Wood, hands down. How martin Landau got an oscar for that shit instead of Sam Mutherfuckin Jackson is beyond me.
By TBG on Nov 20, 2008
damn, leon. you got the masses talkign on this one. haven’t seen any of the movies, unfortunately. LOL. and netflix will not accept “worst movies” onto the queue. my netflix acct won’t, anyway.
aww, i miss blockbuster.
By modi on Nov 21, 2008
Man, I’m BOUT it has to be the all time worst, however I have to add to growing list.
First Sunday
Meteor Man
Semi Pro
A Miami Tail (Trina’s poor attempt at acting)
Nora’s hair salon
TROIS 2 and 3 (TROIS 1 was tight)
I’m sure I will have more but these are the main ones that come to mind.
By Corey on Nov 21, 2008
Good list, but ya gotta include “Son of the Mask.” Which makes me think of that other atrocity, “Malibu’s Most Wanted.” I had to go to therapy after seeing that shit. Jaime Kennedy is the anti-Christ of comedy and acting.
By Ran on Nov 22, 2008
i like the reviews they’re funny. and although I havent seen any of these except gigli (yes i had same problem, i couldnt bare to finish it also) i think u should def extend this list to include: The Brother from another Planet (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087004/) .
By ShadeMagazine on Dec 4, 2008