I got a text message around 11PM last night which read: DC bars and clubs legally allowed 2 open 24 hrs all inauguration week! 5 am last call.”
After that, I cut on the news and started hearing it everywhere. Although I am happy with the fact that I have the legal right to party all night long like Lionel Richie in the 80s(at least for a week), I still sense something unsettling about the entire thing. My instinct is telling me…that DC Government are a bunch of motherf*ckin’ PIMPS!
They see the people money that will be in town, so they are trying to get every dollar they can out of them while they are out in the streets. I don’t know if this makes inauguration tourists DC Government’s hoes, or if the existing city infastructure serves that purpose, and the tourists are actually just the tricks paying their money to get screwed. Either way, forgive me if I’m not dancing in the street in tacky clothes singing Swahili like Lionel and them in the video above.
Although it’s a safe bet that I will go to a bar and order a drink ar 4:45 one of these nights just because I can, I feel the need to warn out-of-towners of what to look out for during that week.
- Don’t drive drunk – I am sure that police will double their ticket and arrest quota that weekend in order to get more revenue.
- Watch out for where you park – Read the signs. And I mean EVERY sign! This city will not hesitate to ticket or tow you.
- Cover charges will be out of this world – This event is like a black college homecoming weekend on steroids, so expect some clubs to have utterly ridiculous cover charges.
- Secure your valuables -Large crowds = a pickpocket’s field day. Keep your valuable stuff close to your person and not in your coat pockets. I’m sure it would be pretty disappointing to get your tickets snatched, then end up having to buy those exact same tickets back from some scalper who looks mighty familiar. I guess he should look familiar, since he brushed past you an hour earlier while you were wondering aloud whether “Sting” was performing that night.
- If you’re going to protest, expect a quick and savage beating – Security is taking NO chances this year. If they tell you to stop doing something and you don’t stop doing it, they will put a foot to your ass first, then ask questions later. The questions will only come if they choose to actually arrest you. They might just leave you laying there bleeding as an example to others.
I hope these help out anyone coming to the area that week. If you can think of more important tips for Inauguration week, feel free to share them in the comments section.
LOL. You make some excellent points…especially the last one. Some of them will be combined. Someone will get park their car illegally, get drunk and then argue with police and catch a vicious beat down.
I’ll still be out there partying though….I might have to take the week off…LOL
It’s going to be crazy!
For real on the parking thing though…I got my first two tickets from those DC police people riding around on them bikes…in my defense though, I could have been visiting someone! You’re going to ticket me for parking in front of my friend’s house at 4PM on a Saturday?!?!
That ad for Great Tasting Protein made me giggle.
Because… I’m a 12 year old in a 26 year old’s body.
My tip…..stay the hell home and watch that shit on TV if you can :)
Can’t get a hotel room up that way now anyway. They looking all the way down here in Hampton Roads area.
Don’t hook-up with any locals. The HIV rate is too high here to be messing around all willy-nilly.
I am not looking forward to the foolishness that will ensue that week. I honestly would like to escape the city for that entire week. Well, maybe just sneak back in to drink-drink-drink. LOL!
Thanks for the video, Leon!
DC Government pimps? Well politicians do have a reputation for screwing us over. Dude, when’s the last time you checked out my blog?
you’re exactly right that the DC Government are pimps. do you really think this law would have been passed if the economy never went into panic in September? — nah i don’t think so. lets just hope these dollars goes to infrastructure and public education.
Any other excuse not to come to work that week is a good one!
D.C. is just askin’ for trouble! Why don’t they just go ahead and legalize prostitution (since hardly anybody in the city has the HIV) and the carrying of concealed firearms (since so few folks get shot here) for that day, as well?!
insanity and you couldn’t pay me to be amongst that mess. i hope the trains plan on running 24/7 too. anybody heard anything on that?
This is such a bad idea it’s not even funny. Not only will we have our usual knuckle heads getting pissy drunk but, we are importing more with the expected crowds. Adams Morgan on steroids!! Not a good thing.
I just need a good house party and I’m straight.
Now i know i need to hide my car in somoene’s garage or risk it being smashed to bits.
I am actually glad the clubs can stay open – to keep all the fools busy. I am considering throwing a house party of my own – just haven’t decided yet since renting out my house is still an option.
I just want to comment on that video. When it first came out, I thought it was cool. But now…the women were looking good but where did they find the guys to be in this thing? Did the cops raid a bath house and instead of sending them to jail, forced them to be in this video?
Yuck man.