Corporate entities must want to be hated. I mean, what other reason exists to explain why doing a normal, routine task like trying to call one specific person is such a pain in the you-know-where. Tell me if this scenario is familiar to any of you:
The person you are calling has a receptionist to handle routine office work, but whose unspoken purpose is to screen your call to see if you are someone important enough to grant access to. This receptionists will then forward your call, because she does not really want to deal to you either. Next, someone else in the office whom the receptionist sent your call to sends you back the the original receptionist who didn’t want to talk to you in the first place. Once you are back on the phone with receptionist #1, she gives you a different number to call in order to leave a message. You call this number, and realize that it sent you to another, totally unrelated office, who forwards you right back to the same office where another receptionist answers and takes your message. You know it’s the same office, because you can hear receptionist #1′s voice in the background.
I already know that I’m going to have to call back in a half-hour, just to confirm that this person even took my message. Just the fact that they put me through that 20 minute cycle of incompetency and frustration has me doubting their their ability and willingness to write down a few sentences and deliver them to the intended recipient. In scenarios like this, you only have two options:
1.)Hope and pray that by the grace of God, this receptionist suddenly changes her lazy phone call forwarding ways and delivers your message.
2.)Try to out pain in the ass them, and worry the folks in that office to death until something get done.
Even though “Thou shalt not sit on your behind Bojangling while Leon needs your assistance” was left out of the 10 Commandments, I still feel that most good Christian folks live by the golden rule: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Based on that logic coupled with what I just went through, my conclusion is that I am most likely dealing with a den of Godless, heathenous savages who are probably mad at me right now for expecting them to actually do work at their jobs! Therefore, I must metaphorically be that squeaky wheel in order to get the grease. I’ll let you all know how things turn out.
I often employ the tactic of asking who is transferring me for the direct number as well “just in case I get disconnected”. This helps a bit; it stops them from just dumping you somewhere.
Did you call HUD? Specifically FHA because our admin assistants transfer every call when if they just took a moment and talked to the person they could have helped them. I normally feel bad for the caller and end up doing a search and finding the right department but it really is annoying.
i used to be a receptionist….sometimes i became sick with power!
Man i swear the “switchboard broads” in my building are the worst…called one time, trying to get connected, all I heards was “BOOTS WITH THE FUR, WITH THE FUR!!!” I was like did I just call 106 & park? She was like, “Oops my bad, can I help you?”
I swiftly laughed at her and told her to connect me to whomever, because by me getting mad wouldn’t have made a difference. Damn her!
-Ed.
http://www.edthesportsfan.com
@ Lemmonex, I’m trying that next time.
@ Desiree A., more people should have a heart like you :)
@ dmb5_libra, after reading your blog, I’m not surprised! You seem like you have slightly more of a mean streak than I do! For some reason, it turns me on in your case LOL
@ Ed, that’s hilarious. “BOOTS WITH THE FUR, BOOTS WITH THE FUR!!!”
Oh yeah, they called me back, and told me that my message got through…but the sad thing is, I could hear one of the receptionists yelling in the background “HE ‘GON HAVE TO WAIT!”
Now the question becomes…Do I give some crackhead $40 to go in there and slap the sh*t out of her on the job? Do I tell the person I was trying to reach, about how much BS the receptionists put me through? Do I pay a voodoo priestess to cut off a chicken’s feet and throw them at the receptionists so their ovaries turn to raisins in order to ensure that neither one of them brings any lazy scum-bucket children into this world?
What’s the next step?
Sweetie, you have to let Go and Let God… although I would jokingly tell the person you were trying to reach about the receptionist from hell but most likely they know first hand about her less than stellar customer service skills.
The Puerto Rican half of me likes the vodoo priestess idea… just kidding:)
LOL @ “HE ‘GON HAVE TO WAIT!” in the background. I sometimes cover the switchboard when the receptionist is out; they deal with a LOT of foolishness (mostly from INSIDE the company). I start off great in the morning (I often get compliments), by the end of the day I’m and asshole. When they ask “Who am I speaking with?” I reply “the receptionist” and and quickly transfer them to the intended voicemail.
*****Call early!
Who takes messages in 2008? Send them ninjas to VOICEMAIL, the best invention ever! Plus we just got a new system where our voice mails also get sent as .wav files to our e-mail. —better than my chicken scratches on a Post It.
~AJ aka the interim, back-up, part-time, provisional switchboard operator.
i love this song!! it is so awsome!!