Would YOU Marry Someone With 14 Kids?
Posted by ListenToLeon on
February 6, 2009
Nadya Suleman, the woman who gave birth to octuplets last week, did her first intervew this morning with my girl Ann Curry on the Today Show. I didn’t watch it but I did read about it since that’s what up internet geeks like to do. The whole time, I could not get past two details of the story: shes unemployed and single.
While she will likely find a job someday, I believe that her bigger challenge will come if she ever decides to get married one day. The woman has 14 children. That’s more than a singing group, small business or street gang! Each one, requiring individual attention and care from his or her mother.
Believe it or not, I love kids and I’m pretty patient with them. However, I can safely say that I do not want to deal with a classroom full of them when I come home from a hard day’s work. Let me go ahead and keep it all the way real by saying that I don’t know any man with good sense that would date a woman with 14 kids, none of which are his. It does not really matter how she ended up with that many children. What matters is they’re here, and they’re not going anywhere until they’re 18 years old.
I remember this one lady I went out with years ago…She was 24, had a beautiful face, a body that was as close to perfect as possible and she went both ways! In other words, she was the perfect jumpoff candidate. Where things went wrong was our first date after meeting in the club. She couldn’t get anyone to watch her THREE kids that day, so we all went to this mall with a kiddie playland section that would keep them occupied while we came up with plans for a real date later on.
…At least that was the plan. Those little out of control kids made me look at her totally differently. I was thinking thoughts like “This woman is WAY too fertile! If the rubber breaks, or she pokes holes in the thing trying to trap me, I’m gonna have to deal with these little knuckeheads for the next 20 years or so! Gotta find a way out of this, right now!”
Her and I never had sex, although I ran into her a few other places and thought about going there a few times because she was fine as hell and had “FREAK” practically written on her forehead. Then, I thought about those wild-assed BeBe’s kids and remembered to steer clear. Last I checked, she’d had another child, yet somehow still looks amazing.
Now, the question: Would YOU date or marry someone with a bunch of kids that aren’t yours?
12 Responses to “Would YOU Marry Someone With 14 Kids?”
I wouldnt. Not just for the reasons you stated but also because with that comes a buncha baby-mama drama and so forth. Damn that! I’ve never been involved with a man with kids but I have been involved with a man that got a girl pregnant after we were through but while she was pregnant, he tried to get back with me. smh…I dont do drama, so I took a pass. There’s more at stake than you and that other person. It becomes you, that other person, their kids, and those kids’ parent. Totally not worth it while dating. But that’s just me…
By Ms_Slim on Feb 6, 2009
I just got in the same situation. I met a chick with 5, 3 of which stay somewhere else, but that still leaves 2 that might not be too fond of. I have one of my own, and she is a hand full alone; don’t think I could do the ready-made family just for some ass.
By Allawishis on Feb 6, 2009
Leon,
To answer your question honestly and whole-heartedly, hell muthafuckin naw. Just trying to have a friendship with a woman with a bunch of kids is hard enough. Now we are at the age where you may have to make an allowance with one or two, but that is where I draw the line. Once I get older, the woman’s kids gotta be grown or I am straight up robbin the cradle son! I love single mothers, my mother was one, but I’d be a damn lie if I didnt say we made it hard for her to have a relationship, especially when my brothers and I are all over 6′3″, 200+. Plus, baby daddy issues is not sweet. Maybe if I had kids I would be more lenient, but since I dont, I choose not to play in that end of the pool.
Shout out to those who do, you more man than me…haha.
By caviar jones on Feb 6, 2009
Hell Nawl!!
2 kids maybe.
But 14?! Man please.
I dated(hit) a chick once with 6 kids. She had 3 sets of twins. All by the same dude who was locked up. Her next door neiighbor had 5. Whenever I wanted to get some of that good slowneck, I had to deal with all 11 of those bad-ass fuckers running around the damn house.
But she WAS finer than frog hair. She worked out constantly, so that body was banging like 6 12’s in the back of an Impala..
But 14 all under the age of 7?!
I DON’T THINK SO PLAYA!
By Dirty Red on Feb 6, 2009
Survey Says: HELL NO!
I don’t want 14 kids my damn self, so what would I look like trying to date/ mess with a woman who has 14? And she’s umemployed as well?
Sounds like she has too much free time on her hands.
By brran1 on Feb 7, 2009
Heck no I wouldn’t marry or date someone with that many kids! That is a major red flag. Seriously. I barely want two kids myself, let alone someone else bringing 14 to the table. And the fact that this woman is unemployed and single, ought to be a smack of reality to this woman. Ugh…let me shut my mouth before I say something real rude, lol.
By Kenya Goodman on Feb 7, 2009
After my 20+ years marriage ended, I thought I would really have problems, even though 3 of my 5 daughters are grown. I met a wonderful man, we’ve dated 4 1/2 years, we have 7 kids between us 4 are grown…and it’s great.
I have Daddy drama and he has Baby mama drama but we manage. We also both work, are educated and very involved parents.
If I was in my 20’s no way. But in my mid 40’s our senario is the norm not the exception. This woman was selfish, and mentally unstable. Her fertility doctors should be disciplined. Raising children is difficult there’s no need to complicate matters by having 8 more when you already have an autistic child, and babues under 7.
I’m sure there was some sort of financial enticement. That being said, protect yourself and remember in a heterosexual relationship each person could potentially be a life time parent.
By cinco on Feb 7, 2009
Would I date/marry someone with 14 kids at the age of 32(all 7 yrs old and younger) where their only source of income has been from a ($100,000+)settlement from being injured on the job, and from the help of strangers and their parents…….emphatically HELL TO THE NAW! I don’t care if they are going for their Master’s. I’m on my second, by you don’t see me spitting out kid after kid after kid!
It shows a lack of responsibility and selfishness on their behalf. To expect everyone to take care of YOUR children when you can’t take care of them yourself is ridiculous. Not only that, someone who just keeps having kids like that w/o any type of financial plan or true support has a few screws loose. I mean, the girl’s parents lost THEIR home taking care of HER responsibility. Whhhaaa?
My grandmother had 12 kids, 7 were from a previous marriage(well, technically 6 since one died at birth), and she remarried and had 5 more. But the difference is she had the support of my grandfather(and my other aunts and uncles, their father). The community wasn’t expected to take responsibility for HER children. She and my grandfather were. And while I’m a firm believer in the saying, “It takes a village to raise one child”, I think she took that saying alittle too damn literally.
Oh, and did I mention my grandparents were of sound mind?
In addition, you would never be the focus of the relationship. When you’re dating someone w/ kids, you have to share the “spotlight”, so to speak. Something I’ve done in the past, and did well with. You have to be a truly unselfish and understanding person to be in a situation like that when you’re coming into it with NO kids. But 14 kids? There would be no time for you and your partner. Your time would be spent getting absolutely NO sleep, no intimacy, no free time, no nothing. Any and everything would revolve around those children. Especially considering how young they are.
Would I be prepared for that at 27? 37? Even 47? Nope.
I have no desire to have that many children. So, I don’t see how I could want to marry someone who does. All the money and resources in the world would change that.
By Kindra on Feb 8, 2009
Hell no!! Next Question..
By Dera on Feb 8, 2009
date? eh. marry? nah.
By jkc on Feb 11, 2009
She seemed attractive until she kept talking and talking during that hour-long interview last night on Dateline. All the neuroticism and plastic surgury of a Jackson–none of the cash.
Great blog, by the way. Inspiring.
By Seth Pickens on Feb 11, 2009
I watched this on Dateline last night, and I must say I’m upset with myself for not hearing about this before then – wtf have I been? This woman is a mess LOL. Listening to her last night left me speechless..She is more worried about going to school to get her masters degree then she is going out and getting a regular, stable job to take care of her 14 kids. I know people should better themselves and should never be discouraged to go to school but mayne – 14 kids, no job, disability & 450 a month in food stamps..this is how she cares for the family she says she loves so much. Lets not get on the daughter who is pretty much unhappy with this situation…lil girl didnt even want to be bothered with the interview lol….
By CathrynMarie on Feb 11, 2009