One sure sign of the country being in a recession is criminal activity. A sure sign that you’re going to get made fun of on ListenToLeon.net is attempting to commit a crime, and getting your ass handed to you in an embarrassing manner!
I actually witnessed someone’s mouth get them put in a sleeper hold a couple of years ago. It was in Fredericksburg, VA of all places, at this little restaurant/nightspot called Uncle Sam’s. There was this huge corn-fed college football player-looking bouncer at the front door, and another big guy who had recently been thrown out was in his face yelling at him. The guy who got thrown out had two friends standing about 10 feet away, yelling and egging him on. I guess that’s what gave him the courage to try to push his way back into the place and scuffle with the bouncer.
The angry guy and the bouncer wrestled for all of 2 seconds before that bouncer somehow managed to spin the guy halfway around and put him in a sleeper hold. Angry guy flailed his arms about for a few seconds, then went totally limp. The bouncer then proceeded to set the man down on the curb, and patted him on the head as if to say “Nighty-night, dumbass.” The only way it would have been funnier is if he’d gone Brutus Beefcake on the guy and whipped out a pair of scissors to give him a haircut. The worst part about it is that the guy who was now on the curb snoring had this happen right in front of the friends who were egging him on a matter of seconds earlier! I guess they saw how quickly the bouncer applied that sleeper hold to their large friend, and realized that if ever there were a time to shut the Hell up, this was it.
The two now-quiet friends went to check on their unconscious buddy, and once they did he woke up with a look on his face that said “Where am I?” They then helped him up, and made that walk of shame across the parking lot, back to their vehicle.
So violent criminals, let this be a lesson to you: Be careful when deciding whom to victimize! Mess with the wrong guy, and you will regret it! Oh yeah, while you’re at it, attempting a home invasion at the place of a gun owner with security cameras probably isn’t a good idea, either!
Wasn’t that in The Five Heartbeats when old dude said, “Don’t let your mouth get you in something that yo ass can’t handle!”
Or as one of my older female cousins says, “Don’t write a muthafuckin ticket yo ass can’t cash!”
When I lived in Tampa, I was partying in Ybor City, and I saw a white dude laying out on the sidewalk, unconscious and bloody. I asked the bartender WTF happened, and he said “He got drunk, thought he could take on 6 dudes, and they showed that he couldn’t” End of story, nuff said. People were gawking at him and taking pictures until the cops showed up.
Or the time I was at some club, and some tall white dude thought he could talk shit to this black dude who was way shorter than him. The black dude proceeded to knock him the FUCK out. It happened within 30 seconds.
Just one word: ROADHOUSE!
Len if my memory serves me correctly I do think you have applied that sleeper hold on me numerous times. So now that i think about it revenge is a must ill just catch you when u get old lol
That tourist beat the brakes off that criminal!! He put those white boy wrasslin/hockey fight moves on dat azz!!! LMAO!!
The rise of MMA makes it really unadvisable to try to test any gumpy lookin mofo. The difference between MMA and wrestlin is that those moves really work…FOR REAL. My man’s rear-naked choke was so sincere, dude was countin sheep backwards for over a minute.
So let that be a lesson, if you aint strong armin’ or workin with a crew, please dont go one on one with a stranger…
I’m not entirely sure what happened there, but I’m about to make it my life’s mission to discover how to do it.
@ Bangs and a Bun, it’s a variation on a choke hold where you apply pressure to a vein and cut off oxygen to the brain JUST long enough to render someone unconscious. As you can probably tell, you have to be careful doing it, because you the margin of error which can lead to a person getting killed/permanently f*cked up is small.
@ Caviar Jones, you really can’t just assume “I can whip this guy’s ass” nowadays!
@ PBG, you gotta love instant karma!
@ Jeff, you’re bigger than me and younger, so remember these words from your older cousin before you seek revenge: I fight dirty! LOL
@ anonymousnupe, I think I’m going to get that movie on DVD, just to laugh at it!
@ LeoninATL, remember the guy that mooned the bouncer in Adams Morgan? I still haven’t seen anything like that since in my life(thank God). LOL
LMAO! NICE! I need to watch more WWE
MAN! I remember when I first moved to Cincinnati, and I was about to walk into the club…you know the bouncers try to let 3-4 in at a time and shit. Well, this hype (crackhead, bum, etec) came up asking if he could get in, then he asked for $5, the bouncer was cool…said naw and keep it moving. Then the hype took like 5 steps away, then ran back and overhead hammered the bouncer! The bouncer saw it last second and averted the blow, then commenced to pick his ass up and choke slammed him on the concrete.
That shit was funny, what was more funny is that he had to be on some shit. He just sat there in the middle of the road for about 26 seconds, shook his head and walked off like it never happened. Sheer hilarity.
-Ed.
lol @ the Brutus “The Barber” beefcake haircut reference…how about you find a way to work in a reference to “Adorable” Adrian Adonis for a Valentine’s Day post? lol
& Uncle Sam’s BEEN shut down & out of business for a minute, fam…I HATED that place with a passion! The whole modus operandi of the DJ was to play 2-3 songs to appease the “urban” folks…then play “Sweet Home Alabama” & that sort of bullshit to appease the hometown Frednecks…
good to see the victim actually fought back and won though, lol
btw, nice meeting you @ Dilla Night / Red Lounge
@ Teef, it was good to meet you, too. I’m not surprised to hear that Uncle Sams is shut down, and I agree that the DJ would jump from hip-hop to bluegrass like he thought that shit was cool or something!