I feel like writing something for the lovers in the house this afternoon. It’s time to find some suitable background music for you all to play as you imagine someone you want to hump saying these words to you. Let me look at my Blip playlist real quick…
Now, on to my latest piece of poetic expression. This one is entitled: Raw.
Raw.
Raw.
Raaaaaw, I’mll give it to ya.
Raw like trivia.
Raw like cocaine, straight from Bolivia.
Yeah baby,
I am like the Wu-Tang Clan…but of PASSION!
Ladies, you best protect ya neck…
Cause I’ll lick and caress and nibble and bite that muthaf*cka!
Whatever it is that you’re into. I don’t judge.
Ok…Sometimes I judge,
but only in disgusting or extremely freaky cases.
I have nothing against bowlegged dwarves,
however,
you should not have one chained up in your basement,
wearing a leather mask with nipple clamps attached to a car battery
and a snuggie.
I’m just saying…
People talk.
So you’re a nasty filthy little smut-mouth freak…
It really doesn’t matter,
Because you’re MY nasty, smutty little filth-mouth freak,
and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Let’s embrace each other,
and lose ourselves in passionate expression
You have three perfectly good holes,
so why not?
We ain’t getting no younger girl,
so we might as well do this!
I’m about to give you the business,
like some rich old white man signing a will on his deathbed.
That wasn’t a good analogy, was it?
Who cares?
I may not always be eloquent,
But I know how to lay pipe.
Now!
There you go folks…Another sexy-time masterpiece!
I am going to pray for you.
Dude. I am literally in TEARS.
WTH? That just made me uncomfortable… lol
Bwahahahahahaha
That was beautifully poetic, Leon. Just beautiful. LMAO!
I agree with Bri…LOL! This made me uncomfortable as well. I could only imagine you wearing leather chaps and holding a whip *shivers*
This has to be what love letters are made of…
You are something else. And by something else, I mean not right – lol.
These letters remind me of the multicolored Comcast commercial….
O_o
I, uh… I…
*logs off*
(lmao)
That was THE most random randomness ever….
I don’t know about the sweet part, but there was a whole lot of nothings in there. LOL!
Keep up the great writing skills.
What’s your Petworth address, man? Ving Rhames (his Pulp Fiction incarnation) wants to know.
*blink, blink*
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That was random as hell! And then because I’ve been fortunate enough to be in your presence, I threw my panties at the monitor, LOL! J/K!
“I may not always be eloquent,
But I know how to lay pipe.”
oh?
I feel intrigued, violated and pregnant all at once. LOL
I’ve been checking out your site for a minute now, I’ve never left a comment before but after that I’ve been moved to say that you a are straight silly, I love it!!
I know you’ve probably heard that a million times but since it’s my first comment I had to say it.. :D
That was SO romantical and … stuff. WOW. I am so glad that I read this in the comfort of my living room and not at work. I did choke on my dinner while reading your um, poem, so my new rule is to not read your site while I eat. You. Need. Jesus.