Whispering Sweet Nothings
Posted by ListenToLeon on
March 10, 2009
I feel like writing something for the lovers in the house this afternoon. It’s time to find some suitable background music for you all to play as you imagine someone you want to hump saying these words to you. Let me look at my Blip playlist real quick…
Now, on to my latest piece of poetic expression. This one is entitled: Raw.
Raw.
Raw.
Raaaaaw, I’mll give it to ya.
Raw like trivia.
Raw like cocaine, straight from Bolivia.
Yeah baby,
I am like the Wu-Tang Clan…but of PASSION!
Ladies, you best protect ya neck…
Cause I’ll lick and caress and nibble and bite that muthaf*cka!
Whatever it is that you’re into. I don’t judge.
Ok…Sometimes I judge,
but only in disgusting or extremely freaky cases.
I have nothing against bowlegged dwarves,
however,
you should not have one chained up in your basement,
wearing a leather mask with nipple clamps attached to a car battery
and a snuggie.
I’m just saying…
People talk.
So you’re a nasty filthy little smut-mouth freak…
It really doesn’t matter,
Because you’re MY nasty, smutty little filth-mouth freak,
and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Let’s embrace each other,
and lose ourselves in passionate expression
You have three perfectly good holes,
so why not?
We ain’t getting no younger girl,
so we might as well do this!
I’m about to give you the business,
like some rich old white man signing a will on his deathbed.
That wasn’t a good analogy, was it?
Who cares?
I may not always be eloquent,
But I know how to lay pipe.
Now!
There you go folks…Another sexy-time masterpiece!
16 Responses to “Whispering Sweet Nothings”
I am going to pray for you.
Dude. I am literally in TEARS.
By Candy on Mar 10, 2009
WTH? That just made me uncomfortable… lol
By Bri on Mar 10, 2009
Bwahahahahahaha
That was beautifully poetic, Leon. Just beautiful. LMAO!
By Kindra on Mar 10, 2009
I agree with Bri…LOL! This made me uncomfortable as well. I could only imagine you wearing leather chaps and holding a whip *shivers*
By Bre on Mar 10, 2009
This has to be what love letters are made of…
You are something else. And by something else, I mean not right – lol.
By MYGoodness on Mar 10, 2009
These letters remind me of the multicolored Comcast commercial….
By Miss E on Mar 10, 2009
O_o
I, uh… I…
*logs off*
(lmao)
By E.Jay on Mar 10, 2009
That was THE most random randomness ever….
I don’t know about the sweet part, but there was a whole lot of nothings in there. LOL!
Keep up the great writing skills.
By JoJo on Mar 10, 2009
What’s your Petworth address, man? Ving Rhames (his Pulp Fiction incarnation) wants to know.
By anonymousnupe on Mar 10, 2009
*blink, blink*
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That was random as hell! And then because I’ve been fortunate enough to be in your presence, I threw my panties at the monitor, LOL! J/K!
By Miss Behave on Mar 10, 2009
“I may not always be eloquent,
But I know how to lay pipe.”
oh?
By Megan on Mar 11, 2009
I feel intrigued, violated and pregnant all at once. LOL
By Wonderlove on Mar 11, 2009
I’ve been checking out your site for a minute now, I’ve never left a comment before but after that I’ve been moved to say that you a are straight silly, I love it!!
I know you’ve probably heard that a million times but since it’s my first comment I had to say it.. :D
By Michelle on Mar 11, 2009
That was SO romantical and … stuff. WOW. I am so glad that I read this in the comfort of my living room and not at work. I did choke on my dinner while reading your um, poem, so my new rule is to not read your site while I eat. You. Need. Jesus.
By bay2la on Mar 11, 2009