Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me

There are very few things on Earth that make my skin crawl. At or near the top of that list, is women with bad wigs and/or weaves. I hate to do it, but I must speak on this topic, since folks have asked me to clarify my stance on the matter.    

It all boils down to one simple sentence: If it appears to be quite artificial, then just say no! I’m not talking about looking a little bit fake. I’m talking about weaves that sit up on top or real hair. Weaves where you can see the glue and other shit used to keep it in place. Weaves that have the visible lace front that resembles the beginning of some pantyhose. Those are the worst ones in my opinion, because it makes me think that after I finish dancing with this woman, she’s gonna pull a nylon stocking down from the front of her hair and rob me at gunpoint.

Wigs…what can I say? When your hairline appears to be A MOTHERF*CKIN’ LINE, it makes me wonder about you. What is this woman trying to hide? Does she have a bald spot with little hair sprouts in the front like Rob Coddry? Does she hate herself? Or just me? Why God? Why?!?!

If any of you female readers is suffering from baldness, I am not trying to make fun of your plight. I am merely trying to educate the public, in my own heavy-handed, brutally honest way. If you do not need to cover up bald spots or hide a hairstyle gone awry, then please avoid wigs and bad weaves. Go natural, or wear your own hair in a style that complements you. However, if you must make that move to sport a wig or weave, remember these tips:

  1. Don’t choose any crazy colors. You see the woman in the photo above? She wouldn’t be bad looking, if she’d decided against that 1999 Venus Williams bullsh*t she has on her head. That look screams out ” I work in the sex trade.”
  2. Be realistic about the length. Please do not go for that “Tina Turner” look.
  3. Expect to get called out from time to time. People talk, you know.

I hope this gave you all a little more insight into my disdain for bad weaves and wigs. I’m against most ridiculously artificial enhancements in general, but the hair thing is at or near the top of the list since it’s among the most noticable things about a person. I know India Arie made that song “I Am Not My Hair” which had a wonderful message, but I beg to differ ladies. When your sh*t is fake AND f*cked up, then yes, you are your hair!

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Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me

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  1. 13 Responses to “Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me”

  2. “…after I finish dancing with this woman, she’s gonna pull a nylon stocking down from the front of hair and rob me at gunpoint.”

    ::DEAD::

    I see your point, Leon. But I don’t get the big deal. A woman should wear her hair how she wants as long as it’s clean. Hell, I pay good money for my weaves and don’t give a rats butt if someone calls me out. LOL

    By Wonderlove on Mar 26, 2009

  3. Like I said, it’s MY pet peeve. Most dudes don’t care about this nearly as much as I do! LOL

    By ListenToLeon on Mar 26, 2009

  4. I just realize I feel the same way about cake on makeup. I’m talking about the five or six coats of Teflon infused makeup. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot women who know how to put on makeup ……..then there are those who literally will look like a totally different person if they wash they face. You out at the club dancing with what looks like Rosario Dawson’s twin next she comes out the shower and she looks like VH1’s New York’s mom.

    By Jason on Mar 26, 2009

  5. That late night commercial about lace fronts scares me. The woman has this unnatural color of hair…dare I say it is chestnut? Anyway her lacefront hairline is 1 cinimeter from her eyebrows.

    By Sasha on Mar 26, 2009

  6. LMAO, YA’LL ARE CRAZY!!! MY STOMACH HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!

    Poin taken, Leon..now come go with me to the hair store and help me pick out a platinum blonde Yaki 16 inch…LOL

    By Wonderlove on Mar 26, 2009

  7. This post is freaking great.

    By Thembi on Mar 26, 2009

  8. LMAO. Damn foo

    By TC on Mar 26, 2009

  9. Leon,

    Weaves, wigs and too much make up are also pet peeves of mine. I may be able to put up with them for the greater good, like you are a movie star or actress and your hair needs a break. But if you are not in the public eye like that, play to your natural strengths. A woman is most beautiful when she is herself physically, mentally and spiritually. And if you must, a little goes a long way…

    By caviar jones on Mar 26, 2009

  10. The girl in the picture should have opted for a quality bra instead of that horrific weave. For a woman w/large breasts, a good bra is an investment worth making.

    I am all natural w/the whole hair thing but I can appreciate a good weave. I appreciate and share your disdain for raggedy hairhats. They look like woodland creatures who’ve wandered out of the forest and settled in on some woman’s head. Ewww.

    By PBG on Mar 26, 2009

  11. The girl in the picture should have opted for a quality bra instead of that horrific weave. For a woman w/large breasts, a good bra is an investment worth making.

    I am all natural w/the whole hair thing but I can appreciate a good weave. I appreciate and share your disdain for raggedy hairhats. They look like woodland creatures who’ve wandered out of the forest and settled in on some woman’s head. Ewww.
    OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi

    By PBG on Mar 27, 2009

  12. the google ad immediately under your story for affordable lace wigs is providing all sorts of unintentional comedy!

    By milkmayun on Mar 27, 2009

  13. @ Milkmayun, when I first saw that, I laughed, too. I almost clicked on it to get more visual examples to illustrate the post!

    @ PBG every time I hear “woodland creatures”, I think about South Park!!!

    @ Caviar Jones and Jason, I agree.

    @ Thembi and TC, thanks

    @ Wonderlove, I’ll go with you…and laugh! LOL

    @ Sasha, that commercial scares me, too. Her wig makes her look like Michael J. Fox in “Teen Wolf”

    By ListenToLeon on Mar 27, 2009

  14. LMAO…..

    By Phoenix7 on Mar 27, 2009

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