The Soundtrack To My Life

A bunch of people have been making notes on Facebook titled “If Your Life Were A Movie, What Would Be The Soundtrack” lately. I thought about going that route, but once I started looking through my iPod and building a list, I realized that I love music(and myself) too much to limit things to a mere Facebook note. The soundtrack to ListenToLeon: The Movie is worthy of it’s own entry over here!

I can’t fake like my life is interesting enough to be some long-ass Oscar nominated epic biopic like Ghandi or Malcolm X. However, my low-budget sleeper hit of a film will require a box set for the soundtrack! I now present to you, “ListenToLeon: The Soundtrack.” Prepare to break out your headphones and sacrifice productivity for awhile…    

Part 1: Laying the Foundation of Grown Man Machismo

1. LL Cool J – I’m Bad Bigger & Deffer was my 1st hip-hop album & helped influence the machismo(I REFUSE to say “swag” in 2009)
2. Oran “Juice” Jones – The Rain This song ends with 2 minutes of the greatest sh*t talk in the history of all mankind! “YOU WITHOUT ME IS LIKE CORN FLAKES WITHOUT THE MILK!”
3. The Pharcyde – Passing Me By Makes me think of all the girls I was scared to talk to, back before I learned that not only does getting shot down NOT hurt, it barely ever happens unless I say something totally inappropriate or out-of-line!
4. Hi-Five – I Like The Way(The Kissing Game) Always makes me think of sunny weather and girls I used to like back in the days before I was getting any tail.
5. New Edition – If It Isn’t Love I have friends who STILL do the dances to this video whenever a DJ plays this in the club *cough* ERIK *cough*
6. Peter Cetera – Glory of Love The Ralph Macchio Gangster of Love Theme Song. Respect it. Bitch.
7. The Roots – Love of My Life “Hip-Hop you the love of my life”
8. Mobb Deep – Shook Ones Had to smack up a few “halfway thugs” in my day.
9. Jodeci – Come And Talk To Me (Remix) Once again, sums up how I felt about crushes I didn’t have the balls to talk to back in the day. I now have BOULDERS when it comes to that sort of thing!
10. Mint Condition – Breakin’ My Heart(Pretty Brown Eyes) A great song, but unfortunately it’s been ruined for me by one unfortunate gay serenade.
11. Total – Kissing You I don’t have a cool story for this one…I just like it. I think I was at least dry-humping by the time this came out…
12. The Roots – Silent Treatment It took me awhile to learn how to counter this relationship tactic. Growing up, I thought it was the kiss of death…
13. EPMD – Headbanger I’d go upside your head if you crossed the line!

Part 2: Leon’s Love Life

1. Carl Thomas – Lady, Lay Your Body Carl Thomas’ first album reminds me of my first time falling in and out of love. It was between this, and Summer Rain, but this brings back more memories.
2. Stevie Wonder – Hey Love This just captures the joy of successful hollering, courtship, or whatever you want to call it…
3. Jaime Foxx – Blame It On The Alcohol Hey, what can I say? Sh*t happens!
4. The System – Don’t Disturb This Groove C*ck blockers, please exit the premesis immediately! Disturbing my groove could prove hazardous to your health.
5. R. Kelly – Naked *Disclaimer* Unlike “The Arrah,” I’m only interested in women of a legal consenting age. So if you’re hot and of age, take your clothes off.
6. Mad Cobra – Flex Don’t act like you didn’t like this song too! I know I’m not the only one…
7. John Legend Another Again I can definitely relate this situation.
8. Stevie Wonder – Rocket Love All about the highs and lows…
9. Tyrese – Signs of Lovemaking Because extra-freaky, between the sheets zodiac sign sex is definitely going to be in the movie!
10. Prince – Erotic City Because once again, I’m a freak. It’s not a bad thing. It just…is.
11. Musiq – Sobeautiful The way I felt every time I met someone I fell in love with.
12. Usher – Here I Stand Cause I’m going to end up being a family man someday. It’s inevitable…
13. N.E.R.D – Run To The Sun Mainly because I’m a busy guy.

Part 3: Ambitions of a Hustleman

1. Doug E. Fresh – Keep Risin’ To The Top Gotta keep striving for perfection *Doing my Doug E. dance*
2. Nas – The World Is Yours “Writing in my book of rhymes all the words past the margin…”
3. Donny Hathaway – Someday We’ll All Be Free Just a great song about holding on to your deams
4. Marc Dorsey – People In Search of a Life Life is hard sometimes, but you’ve just gotta keep on pushing…
5. Eric B. & Rakim – Microphone Fiend I like to make an impression when there’s a microphone nearby.
6. Prince – Pop Life Get your damned life together, dammit!
7. Black Star – K.O.S. (Determination) Gotta know who you are and where you came from in order to know where you’re headed. It’s crazy how relevant this song still is, 11 years later.
8. Young Jeezy – Circulate Gotta get that money!
9. Gnarls Barkley – A Little Better Cee-Lo is that dude. I love his high-pitched, raspy voice!
10. Nas – Watch Dem Niggas Trust no one. Plus, “I got no game, it’s just some b*tches understand my story”

Part 4: Triumph of a Smug Bastard

1. Maze – Golden Time of Day Perfect for relaxing while basking in one’s own greatness.
2. Jay-Z – Party Life “I got a slick mouth, you might wanna roll with me”
3. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth – They Reminisce Over You(T.R.O.Y.) For those who aren’t here to laugh along with me.
4. A Tribe Called Quest – Electric Relaxation Because the chicks…They dig me.
5. Swizz Beatz – It’s Me, B*tches (Remix) Yeah…I said it!
6. Redman – Tonight’s Da Night “You better check the Yellow Pages under ‘Smooth Sh*t’ cause Leon ain’t down with the bullsh*t”
7. Tha Alkaholiks – Daaam! ListenToLeon got the jokes that’ll make you say “DAAAAAMN!”
8. Ne-Yo – Single If you let me be your boyfriend ’till the song goes off, you’ll probably be thinking about it for the rest of the night. Such is Leon Jr. jr!
9. Snoop Dogg – The Shiznit This song makes me want to do push-ups, run around the block, shake the sh*t out someone’s 11 year old, then tell ‘em to stay out of trouble or I’ll murder his face in broad daylight. I know it doen’t make sense, but this beat is classic.
10. Luke – Scarred It’s a guilty pleasure song. Plus, it introduced the world to Trick Daddy!
11. Lupe Fiasco – Superstar Why not end on this note?

As you can probably tell, I have been working on this off and on for awhile now. The sad thing is, there are still a lot more songs I could have put up here. I’ve tried to avoid second-guessing this thing because quite frankly, it’s not that serious unless someone is willing to give me money to actually finance a ListenToLeon film. Then, I’ll have to pay attention and pick stuff that suits different scenes and whatnot. For now though, this entry will serve the same perpose as the rest on the blog:A tool of sheer procrastination and comedic indulgence.