It’s inevitable. Whenever 4 or more of my people go to dinner, there is bound to be some kind of controversy once it comes time to pay the check. I hate to generalize, since I’m sure this behavior is not mutually exclusive to us black folks, but 90% of the time when I’m out with a large group, it’s us who pull this mess. Don’t worry…I still love going to dinner with y’all, even though check time brings out the inner cheapskate in some individuals.
You and your group could be having a wonderful evening…then, it happens: The check arrives, and all Hell breaks loose! People pool their money together, and the check is $20 short. Someone claims to not remember ordering that third Long Island Iced Tea. Another person takes exception with something the server did, and does not want to leave a tip. People start asking who had what, and who contributed how much to the cause. Someone who didn’t even pass Algebra 1 in high school all of a sudden become a mathematical scholar, attempting to figure out who still owes money. Eventually, someone pays the difference for the dead weight amongst the group, and he or she is angry about it for the rest of the night.
My people, why must it always come to this? Here are five tips to help avoid a future check fiasco:
Tip 1: I hate to quote Fergie, but a song of hers said it best: “If you ain’t got no money, take your broke ass home!” Don’t go out to eat, when you know it’s not a good life decision. Stay home with some ramen and get it together instead of ruining everybody else’s night.
Tip 2: If you can’t do separate checks, try to have everyone use their card, write their name on the back of the check and the amount to put on the card across from the name. This has worked on a few occasions for groups of 4 that I was a part of.
Tip 3: Unless it’s a general consensus that the waiter is horrible, tip the guy. Don’t be the one cheapskate who takes exception to some make-believe slight, just to get out of leaving a few extra dollars. People will talk about you.
Tip 4: Order menu items you can afford, and plan on eating. Don’t regret getting those three appetizers before the entree, the overly-sweet dessert and a bottle of wine, when you know you came there with a Dollar Menu budget and appetite.
Tip 5: Keep one of those tip calculation charts handy, if gratuity is not included. The less math people have to do, the happier the entire table is.
You see folks? It it really that easy to avoid the dreaded check argument during group outings. Just print out this list, and bring it with you to the next group dinner you attend!
that’s why you can’t go out with cheap folks period. My girls and I NEVER have this issue.. we split it evenly don’t care who had more to drink LOL..
you need new friends Leon
second that, Leon… you need new friends!
splitting checks has not really been an issue since I turned 30. every once in a while we get somebody coming up short, but usually it’s because they can’t do math. sometimes we end up with too much money.
LMAO @ “If you ain’t got no money, take your broke ass home!”
This does tend to happen when I go out. Tip # 2 is good, me and my friends do that most of the time.
My aunt usually pulls out her claculator and takes it from there.
this is why i don’t hang with black people…
Tax is another issue.
They calculate how much each thing they ordered costs but neglect to add extra for tax and tip.
At a birthday celebration for one of my in-laws, several people got ot of paying their bill by sending their food back, just before the check came. I’d rather pay the difference in the bill, rather than endure that embarrassment.
LOL at the person who becomes the mathematical scholar..I am never that person. Sadly I just let someone tell me how much I owe.
My cell phone has a tip calculator. I only use it when I think someone’s calculations are questionable.
Leon’s got it right – SEPARATE CHECKS all around. In fact, to be absolutely clear, at the restaurant for large parties, separate the races, religions, sexes (trannys are gonna have a problem), and vegetarians on one side, carnivores on the other. Simple.
This never happens when im just out with the girls past my college yrs…but when its men and women it seems to be an issue with the bill…My friend Jay and I usually pony up last remaining funds. I do it because i use to be a waitress in college…i think thats why my cheap friends say i overtip and i say no I just know how to tip correctly.
I stopped going out so much because your brother was the one always stuck with the check. Even on my bday a few years back(which you missed by the way). It does get old and I heard what happened…LOL
Take comfort, friend, in knowing that white people do this exact same thing. They don’t include tax, or tip way too little, or just throw in a fraction of what they owe. My white friends are just as guilty.