Yesterday evening, I switched up my Twitter photo to the one above, where I was flexing the slingshots last summer. Yes, I said slingshots. They weren’t quite “guns” at the time. However, that was months ago, and my sexy has escalated by leaps and bounds since then. I’m a certified Sex Symbol in 6 countries/territories now. Inga, Germany’s Ambassador to Sexy, gave me a call the other day to tell me I’m Hasselhoff big over there right now. Haagen Daas, bitches!
Once I changed the photo, a very lovely young lady sent me a message, saying that she’s always thought I was “a sexy gorilla.” That begs the question: Is being called “a sexy gorilla” a compliment?
On one hand, sexy is sexy. She’s entertained thoughts of lustful passion, starring me. On the other hand, she also called me a hairy primate. That can’t be good.
I know some of you are having a Michael Eric Dyson black awareness moment right now, since the word “gorilla” was used. Anytime you mention a black person in the sam=e sentence with “gorilla,” “monkey,” “chimp,” or any other type of primate, it’s going to set off people’s racism alarms. Racist stereotypes have so affected our society, that you can’t even get away with jokes like the one from “Sanford and Son” where Fred told Esther to stick her face in a bowl of dough so he could make some gorilla cookies. Still, I know that’s not the angle this woman was coming from with her “sexy gorilla” comment. She’s black, and well-adusted to society. There is no need to worry.
When I think about “sexy gorilla” being a compliment, it makes me think that she might have been saying I’m physically comparable to the girl I wrote about the other day, implying that I have a yacht body, with a shipwreck face! I have been called a lot of things, but never before have I been called a nightcrawler or a butterface! In my mind, the only people who would call a person a “sexy gorilla” and not mean it as a back-handed compliment are the same ones who would have sex with 50 Cent even if he weren’t rich and famous.
Maybe there really is a “sexy gorilla” fetish going on that I was unaware of. If so, I don’t really want to know about it. Beastiality is wrong, and rather disgusting.
Maybe she thought I was an Alpha Phi Alpha man. They embrace that gorilla thing, so I guess that statement would be a compliment to those guys.
I myself am choosing to look at the statement through through R. Kelly colored lenses. Please refrain from making underage sex jokes while I explain this. I think that she meant my picture evoked raw, animalistic passion from deep within her soul. Or, as R. Kelly so n*ggerishly put it, “LIKE TWO GORILLAS IN THE JUNGLE, MAKING LOVE!”
Then again, I’m an optimist. A self-centered, slightly narcissistic optimist, at that. I like to picture my glass of awesome half-full.
LMAO!! Sexy Gorilla LOL!! All jokes aside, I do believe she was referring to the side of that creature that could carry you off like King Kong. You Know Strong n passionate but gentle. Not the side that picks primate tics off it’s ass and eats ‘em or poops in the jungle. So, if a gorilla poops in the jungle does anyone reaaly smell it…LOL!! I’m in tears….”sexy gorilla”.
Wow. Maybe she meant gorilla as in gorilla pimp like in The Mack? I dunno. But you’ve struck me as monkey-ish.
Maybe like you said it’s the animalistic sex thang.
Gorilla as in it’s a very masculine animal so I think she was just trying to be creative/cute.
No need to call Al Sharpton.
I agree with Wonderlove.
Not to bring your ego down or anything lol…but you’re still light-skinned. Did Obama bring you guys back into style yet? I just need to know.
LOL! :)
She just needs some lessons in male flattery … cut her some slack … but don’t make any babies with her .. imagine the names she’ll try and call THEM ..
Hey there…
Sexy gorilla?
Ummmm…no… that’s not flattery…
Send her a note saying, “you’re such a sexy cow!” or “you’re such a sexy Saint Bernard!” and see how she responds… *LOL*
Any animal references are insulting….she needs to learn that.
As someone already said, she got the sexy part right. But likening you to a gorilla, even it was meant in a raw, masculine kinda way, just doesn’t sound flattering[to me]. LOL!
Now, if she would’ve said, “sexy beast”, it wouldn’t have even made me say, “Huh?” and then burst out in laughter.
But considering it was meant as a compliment, take it as that. You know you look good. ;)
U ain’t buff nigga lol
@Ms_Slim – Yeah girl, light skin dudes are back in style! They are very retro right now.
lol
lmaoooooo I hate you! When I said it, I meant it just like Wonderlove said.
strength
power
masculine
respected
feared
hairy (j/k)
And let’s not forget I have a unique way with words my darling. xoxo.
Looking good there Leon.
So maybe, ol’ girl was just trying to imply that she had visions of your sexy ass doing some wild primal gorilla shit to her, like hit it in a tree while grunting your pleasure. And afterwards maybe she’d like it if you two groomed each other by picking bugs out of each other’s hair. (the bugs would be there and other places because y’all did the deed in a tree).
LOL.
I find the term can be taken two ways! It can be a nice way of saying you are sexy or you can be offended at being called a monkey! It’s like saying, “Your muscles are penitentiary large!” I don’t mean you’ve been in the penitentiary, just that you are as big as some guys in the penitentiary. LOL It’s still offensive….
man she called you a monkey uncle ruckus style….
LOL @ “n*ggerishly put”
I don’t see being called a “sexy gorilla” as a compliment. She needs a new line or two because sexy gorilla isn’t cutting it. Out of all the words in this world she put “sexy” in front of gorilla? lol