Washington DC, you owe me an apology. Your Petworth neighborhood streets have just ruined my favorite pair of shoes. I absolutely hate dog crap, and I go out of my way to avoid it. While eluding stanky doo-doo land mines, I managed to drop my guard for a slight moment and stepped on something much worse: A dead mouse.
On the short list of worse things to step on than dog crap, that’s right near the top, just below actual land mines and bear traps. I have managed to remove the nasty remnants from the bottom of the sneaker, but I may never be able to wear them again. Even though they’ve been sanitized, they are still tainted in my eyes.
Washington DC, do something about your vermin problem, and clean your streets. Don’t make me come to a City Council meeting and make a scene.
I’ll do it! Don’t think I won’t!