Today is an introspective day over here at ListenToLeon.net. I’ve been thinking about all things Leon-related, and I came to a realization when it comes to dating and relationships: The qualities that women like about me when they first meet me, are the same ones they complain about later on down the line. At the risk of committing sexual suicide in the eyes of all women who read this, I have listed some of these qualities along with the dual effect they have on the fairer sex:
I’m a nice guy and a jerk, all in one - Women like that I do gentlemanly stuff, and that I’m witty with unexpected jokes and comebacks. These qualities are great when times are good. However, they backfire during arguments since they tend to piss women off one of two ways:
- I can gauge when to use logic-based arguments, or when to shut the Hell up and just weather the angry woman storm. This is good, until she figures out I’m using the Muhammad Ali rope-a-dope strategy.
- I can do a quick risk-benefit analysis of this person’s existence, say “f*ck it” and end things right there if I feel it’s not worth the time or energy.
I tend to tell the ugly truth - Don’t ask me a question if you don’t want to hear an honest answer. I will only change the subject or ignore you a once or twice before telling you the truth, which you might not be ready to hear. Example:
Her: I’m gaining weight, aren’t I?
Me: You look fine.
Her: I asked you if I’m getting fat…
Me: OK. Since you asked…You know you didn’t have that little pooch pouch stomach a couple of months ago. You can probably knock that out in the gym, and if you stop f*cking with Ben’s Chili Bowl at 3 in the morning after the club.
Her: I HATE YOU!!!
I love what I do - I have a lot of things that I like doing, all of which, I am good at. The one thing that I absolutely love doing, is making people laugh. I amuse the hell out of myself with the random thoughts I come up with, and when I can spread that joy to others, it makes me happy. The downside of this is that I play too much sometimes, and I also devote a lot of time to making myself better at it. A woman needs to be kind of patient to deal with my silly jokes and the energy I put into my goal of someday becoming the funniest man alive. Just accepting the fact that this is my goal takes a special kind of person!
I am Lord of the Jone - I am a master at joning, snapping, cracking jokes, or whatever it is that you want to call it. My quick wit helps me charm and amaze ladies at first(as well as gain Twitter followers), but it’s inevitable that these same ladies will try to one-up me with an insult and get their feeling hurt. I try not to completely go for the jugular, but if what was said to me is more attack than good-natured jab, I’m returning fire and saying something to shut that person up for the rest of the evening. That, or just looking at her like she’s stupid in a way that says more than words ever could. If you can’t take the heat, don’t put your hand on the stove when the red light is on!
I think I messed up that last saying…but you get the idea.
Whatever the case, this is my self diagnosis on why a good number of the ladies I’ve dated have threatened to cut my nuts off like Jesse Jackson, only to look down at my wang and reconsider harming such an amazing work of art from the heavens above. I have tried to avoid taking the “They were all crazy” route, because that would be a cop-out. Plus, I’ve remained on good terms with most, so I know it’s not the case. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but if so, let me know. I can’t be the only dynamic, complex, genius/jackass out there!
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Yeah, this has proven true a few times for me as well. In the beginning, men will like that I am a bit sassy or potty mouthed or however the hell they like to put it. Then, after a while, they start asking me to behave.
Sounds like a case of “too much of a good thing” syndrome. Men always love the fact that initially I’m allusive, not clingy, and socially dependent on them, but eventually it tends to make them insecure because I’m not clingy enough.
sounds like self acceptance to me…. at least you can admit who/what you are. Seems like more women who you associate with should lighten up a tad and learn not to take themselves so seriously, then maybe they could laugh a little too.
I too know why the Caged Bird Sings…Most women are turned on by my wit and intelligence and that I can tell the truth in novel ways, but then they realized that I will disregard whatever they say if it doesn’t make sense and I cannot be beaten in an argument and love turns to hate faster than sugar turns to shit! Over the years, I try turn the volume down on my smug sense of superiority, but the more of an ass I act, even though they hate it, they cant help but love it and admit I am right. They gotta respect I don’t need their love or validation. Oh well.
This is a long winded way of saying, I definitely can relate. LMAO.