Honolulu is looking to ban B.O. on public transportation. The bill will be heard tomorrow by the city council, and it’s looking to rid buses of smelly, disgusting, stank-ass passengers. I salute you, Honolulu, because I feel that making people wear deodorant and wash their asses should be a federal law!
There are only three times when a person on public transportation should be given a pass to be a stank-ass mofo. Here are those exceptions to the rule:
- If that person is homeless, he/she gets a pass. Life is hard enough as it is for them. No need to officially reinforce things with a “stinky” label and a fine.
- If you work a labor-intensive, blue collar job(construction, roofer, painter, landscaping, etc.) then no one expects you to smell like roses after busting your behind for 8 hours or more. Nor do we expect you to care how you look or smell, since it’s a safe bet that all you want to do is get the day over with.
- If you are an infant, you’re allowed to drop a stankin’ load in your diaper. Sh*t happens. I understand.
As far as everyone else, if you have access to a shower, work a non-manual labor job, and possess control of your bowels, then there is no excuse for you not to wash your ass! It’s really not that hard. Some of you should try it sometime.
Also, don’t give me that “In my country, we only bathe twice a week” crap.
I’m not of those people who get mad when people from other countries speak languages other than English. Yelling out phrases like “THIS IS AMERICA! LEARN TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE! ENGLISH, AMIGO!” is by all intents and purposes, a dick move. This amazing nation is truly a melting pot, and cultural diversity is one of it’s greatest strengths.
That said, bathing habits need to be adapted to the society in which you live. When a person stinks, it affects the quality of life of everyone within smelling distance. Little microscopic molecules of doo-doo dust and underarm residue float through the air from the stank individual, and launch an all-out assault on the nostrils of everyone around. It’s like a suicide bombing, except it’s not deadly. The person who comes on the bus or train smelling, has effectively declared jihad on the senses of every other passenger he or she crosses paths with.
That’s why I salute Honolulu for effectively saying “WASH YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE” through legislation. I can only hope that someday Washington DC will do the same.
Tweet
The elderly tend to drop loads in their depends…oh and folks who work at seafood markets should be banned from mass transit.
Diabetics need a pass, too! They can’t help their stench.
YOU ARE A FOOL!!!!!
With that said. Some from other countries do not think the smell is stank. They believe funk and oils smell good, and do not believe in deoderant. And for some that stinth is part of their religion. I smell a stanky lawsuit, if that’s the case. But I do look at those people in amasement and think – HOW COULD YOU NOT SMELL THAT!?!?!?!?!
I hope someday in the future there will be a machine similar to a metal detector that everyone must pass thru to gauge their funkiness.
@ CurlyQ, now THAT would be a great use of technology!
@ CK, I forsee lawsuits as well, but I hope the fact that this legislation even happened is promising in my eyes
Krazy34th, why do they stink? I’m not sure I follow that one
@ Wonderlove, that’s true about the fish market employees. They need their own system of transit!
That funk machine EXISTS!!!!! They have them in dentists offices to identify folks with stank ass mouth AKA halitosis. Now…. only if we could make a full body stank-o-meter….hmmm
Fantastic function, I like the way you reach your reader. It touches my soul and mind simply because I really understand each element you mention although for the fact it is complex.