Reasons Why Many Politicians End Up In Sex Scandals

In light of California Representative Michael Duvall getting caught bragging on his extramarital sexual conquests, and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford taking trips to South America to see his side piece, I’m sure a lot of you are wondering: “Why can’t certain politicians keep it in their pants?” Well, I’m here today to provide an answer. You won’t find this on Huffington Post, Wonkette, Gawker or anyplace else. This is exclusive ListenToLeon insight into the mind of powerful men!

Now, I don’t claim to wield as much power as most elected officials. However, I can do one thing that they could never do in their wildest dreams: Tell you the ugly, brutally-honest truth! I really don’t have anything to lose, and as those of you loyal readers who’ve already witnessed me put too-much personal information out there are aware, I have nothing to hide. So let’s get down to the get-down.

The Reasons Why Many Politicians End Up In Sex Scandals:

• They lacked morals and ethics to begin with – This is the easy, cop-out answer. I’m just putting it up here first to get it out of the way.

• These guys are not used to getting trim by the boatload – This, my friends is the main reason why so many politicians get caught out there. A lot of these guys were the nerds, geeks, and overachievers in high school and college. I mean, just look at the photo of Duvall from above! Does that guy look like he would have women throwing themselves at him if he weren’t in a position of power? Didn’t think so. Besides, if he were used to getting all kinds of freaky sex from women, he wouldn’t feel the need to validate himself by telling stories about his exploits like some high school kid. He could just lean back, sniff his fingertip and smile as he reminisces on all the interesting ways he got stank on his hands around lunchtime. In Sanford’s case, he would have managed his affair better if he weren’t new to the world of easy, enjoyable booty. She’s in another continent, so there’s no excuse for people finding out other than he was a wet-behind-the-ears type of sucker.

• Conversely, some politicians have been getting trim by the boatload their entire lives – This is the scenario where a captain of the football team type of guy or child of wealth and privilege becomes an elected official. He’s never had to work too hard for things to go his way, so while philandering, he just became lazy with covering up the details and ended up getting caught.

• It’s all about power – Some people let power corrupt them. It leads to a sense of invincibility, which leads to “I’m a Senator! It’s my RIGHT to live an above-average lifestyle! Who is gonna stop me?!” So this leads to whatever indulgence this guy decides to indulge in, be it out of state hookers, drugs, Congressional pages, kicking people in the men’s room stall for gay sex, furries, or whatever that particular individual is into.

• Women are attracted to men in the spotlight – They’re also attracted to me, but that’s neither here nor there…Being in a lawmaking position casts a spotlight on a man, and the sexual opportunities present themselves from there. Think about it: There are all kinds of low-budget, barely-known local celebrities in every major city in America who get laid on a regular basis. If it’s easy for them, it’s DEFINITELY easy for someone who has a hand in guiding decisions that control the flow of millions of dollars.

There you have it: a variety of solid answers to the age-old question of “Why can’t politicians stop screwing around?” Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments section.