A few days ago, there was a trending topic on Twitter called #nodisrespect. As a result, I sent out the following heavily re-tweeted message:
“Whenever someone says #nodisrespect to you, they’re about to disrespect the sh*t out your ass!”
This tweet, my friends, is as real as it gets! “No disrespect” is one of the greatest phrases in the English language, because it allows you to deliver a free insult to someone by making it appear as if you’re trying to spare their feelings. It’s like a free pass to use brutal honesty.
Below, I have placed a few examples:
Example 1: “No disrespect, but I cannot take your advice very seriously for you are a simpleton.”
Example 2: “No disrespect, but your breasts are the only reason I haven’t had you thrown out of this VIP section.”Example 3: ” No disrespect, but your breath smells like you just got through eating a foot-and-ass sandwich. Here’s an Altoid. You know, these mints are curiously strong…”
As you can see, “No disrespect” is pretty fun to use, and can be applied in a number of situations. My favorite thing to do is to add a “Furthermore” to the end of the “No disrespect.” That allows you to slide in one more parting shot along the way. Here are a few more examples:
Example 4: “No disrespect, but your girlfriend is not that attractive to me. Furthermore, she needs to stop wearing tight outfits. Nobody wants to see that mess!”
Example 5: “No disrespect, but I don’t think that you possess the ability to keep your legs closed when you meet a new man. Furthermore, I believe therapy and/or Jesus would greatly benefit you.”
Example 6: “No disrespect, but you must be a little too slow to get that joke. Furthermore, I’ve placed a disclaimer for dumb asses like you on the header near the top of this site. Read it, and have a blessed day.”
I love to incorporate these classic, old school, The Kings English, “Ye Olde Shit Talk” techniques into my everyday verbal arsenal. I’d recommend that you try it for yourselves, but I already know that a lot of you are going to attempt to use what you’ve learned today on me. If you do, remember this, young my trash talk Jedi Padwans: The master NEVER passes along all of his secrets!
Go ahead and try to insult me if you want to!!! No disrespect, but you are no match for my razor-sharp wit. Furthermore, I will reach right through your computer monitor, take your lunch money and fondle your girlfriend, just to make an example out of your dumb ass for everyone else. Don’t do it to yourself!
true it is a free insult and someone can still get a free bitch slap if it is too much. lol.
While the “no disrespect” is nice.. I prefer the “Not to be funny” as in –
Not to be funny but your man is wearing his little brother’s pants too much.
— To kick it up a notch (Emeril I see you)I like to add “I’m just saying” to the mix like so..
Not to be funny, but I saw your breathe before I smelt it. Please take this as a note to see a doctor. I’m just saying.
High five for example 5.
No disrepect is the euqivalent to I’m not a racist but. You already know some racist ass shit is gonna follow.
hahahaaaaa Chocolate Giddy Up, you make my friggin’ days!
LMAO..yeah “No disrespect”, “I’m just saying”, and “Ion’t mean no harm” are all pretty much the same…….LOL
Sometimes people need to hear the truth. It doesn’t mean you’re disrespecting them it means you love them. I guess it depends on who it’s coming from. I love MJ and respected him… I thought today about how he used to look and also hold his crotch and then what Lisa Marie Presly said about his “skills” and thought…Example: MJ was a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed, no disrespect. I’m just calling it like I see it.
I choked laughing! It sounds even better if you say them in a British accent! Try it! LOL
This runs neck and neck with “I know you don’t want to hear this but…..” and “I’m not trying to be facetious”. And my favorite, “not for nothing….”
Example, “not for nothing, but I would bone the hell out of her.”
Great post.
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!