5 Horror Films That Scared The Sh*t Out Me

In the spirit of Halloween, here are 5 memories of horror films that scared the sh*t out of me at some point in my life. These movies themselves don’t really strike fear in my heart in 2009, but each of them is responsible for a moment that the macho, manly part of me is slightly ashamed to admit actually happened.  Without further adieu, the list is below…   

Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present: 5 Films That Successfully Brought the Bitch Out of ListenToLeon

The Ring – I wasn’t that scared by the movie, but I watched it late at night, right before going to bed. Later that same night, I came downstairs and saw that the TV was mysteriously on, despite the fact that I know I turned it off. It was also showing a fuzzy static pattern similar to the one in the movie. So I did what any self-respecting grown man would have done: I pulled the TV out the plug, RAN FULL SPEED up the stairs, said this prayer before I went to bed:

“God, If I die tonight, please let me into heaven. Also, don’t let me have that crazy-looking twisted-up decaying ghostface, gasface looking shit like the folks in the movie. Amen.”

Creepshow – The part with the roaches still bothers me. To this very day, if I’m at someone’s house with cockroaches, for the rest of the day, I’m going to randomly brush myself off out of paranoia, thinking something is crawling on me.

The 6th Sense – I liked this movie, but it made me feel like dead people were hanging out in my house, watching me. I still think about it sometimes when I get the urge to jerk off. I’m like “What if the ghost of Coretta Scott King is sitting over there in the corner with a look of disapproval on her face, as I’m over here streaming internet smut? Damn! DAMN! DAMN!!!”

Candyman – This movie itself did not scare me, but the bet I made AFTER watching it back in my middle school days sure as Hell did! My cousins Bryan and Andre bet me $5 that I wouldn’t cut the lights out in the bathroom and say “Candyman” three times while standing in front of a mirror in the dark. Whenever someone did this in the movie, they got hooked or slashed to death by an angry dead slave with bees, metal and all kinds of ill shit. Needless to say, I got to two “Candyman” chants before trying to get out, only to realize Bryan and Andre had locked me in there, and the light switch was on the outside of that bathroom for some reason. You couldn’t tell me there wasn’t a tall black nigga with a hook standing in the shower! I damn near kicked that door down before they let me out.

Carrie – This was just a freaky movie, all the way around. It’s one of the few horror films I was compelled to add to my DVD collection, mainly because of the crazy Bible fanatic mother, and the wild ending. I won’t even get into too much about it, but the end of that movie stuck with me for awhile after I first saw it. Plus, Karen Allen was cute back in those days, and it’s funny seeing John Travolta when he was really young and not-yet super-famous. This film is a big reason why I am nice to everybody, and not just cool people. Common decency aside, I’d like to stay on their good side so they don’t murder me with their minds!

As you can see, I left off all the major killers who haunted people’s dreams after seeing these films, like Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krugger(literally), Michael Myers, Hannibal Lecter, etc. Now, I’d like to know what horror films creeped you out. Let me know in the comments section.