Please Don’t Shoot Me! Signed, The Messenger

Ever have someone ask you to pass along a message to someone else, without telling you the entire story behind it? So when you deliver the news, that person reacts by frowning his or her face up and saying something like “JESUS! THIS IS GREAT…JUST GREAT! MY DAY IS RUINED NOW!”

I hate getting tricked into becoming the bearer of bad news. It’s like being legal process server, except you’re not even getting paid for it. To have someone look at you like you just threatened to sue them and teabag their mother, especially over something you had nothing to do with in the first place, really sucks. I propose we band together as a nation, and put a stop to it right now. 

There are three strategic approaches we can use to conquer this problem:

Approach 1: Start saying “I am not your mailman, bike courier or carrier pigeon. Deliver your own damned messages!”
If more co-workers and colleagues would do this, maybe, just maybe, the message-passers will start to get the point and handle it themselves.

Approach 2: If you are the recipient, do not to shoot the messenger.
I know, I know…You just got ambushed with a load of bull-pucky, and you are in a bad mood at the moment. Still, remember that the person who passed this info along probably feels bad that they told you whatever it was that got you this upset. On top of that, he or she also feels dumb for getting talked into being in that position in the first place. It’s only acceptable to shoot the messenger if that person is telling you directly, or if they’re just being a flat-out jerk. Then, and only then, it’s open season on messengers!

Approach 3: Band together with the message recipient and go after the person who was too much of a punk to deliver the bad news him/herself.
You could wait for that person to fall asleep, get some soap-filled pillowcases and beat the Hell out of him or her, Full Metal Jacket style. Or, if you’d rather avoid violence and the jail time that usually comes with it, maybe confront this person at his or her desk or on the street. Whatever the case, confronting the passive-aggressive is usually the best way to get them to cut out the nonsense. Whether you want to throw them a “pillow party” or not is entirely YOUR decision!

Once again, I have solved one of life’s little problems for you. You’re welcome, people of the Internet.