I teabagged a midget on the dance floor. There. I said it. Now that I think back to the incident, it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. Then again, maybe it is. You be the judge:
The other night, I was at a lounge where the DJ was playing all kinds of great music. People were dancing and having a great time. That’s when I saw her: this really cute woman out-dancing everyone in the entire place. What stood out about her other than her dancing was the fact that she’s a “little person.” She’s close to the really short person-little person borderline though. Kind of like the Shaquille O’Neal of little people.
My friend Sasha(who is a few inches away from little person land herself), was there, and we had a conversation that went something like this:
Sasha: Leon! That’s a little person!
Me: I think you’re right. She’s dancing her ass off though. She’s actually kind of cute.
Sasha: You should go talk to her *snicker*
Me: Why the Hell not? I won’t use her for sex, though. Little people have it hard enough as it is. They can’t get real jobs. They have to be horse jockeys or turn to midget porn.
Sasha: That’s not true. That’s ignorant!
Me: True. Glad I didn’t tell you that I was thinking I might impale her during sex. My d*ck could accidentally puncture her lung…
Sasha: You’re an idiot. GO TALK TO HER!
Next, I went over to the lovely vertically challenged young lady and told her that she’s the life of the party. We talked for a quick second, exchanged names and started dancing. Then, it happened. She was in front of me with her back turned, just grooving to the beat, and I decided it was a good idea to raise my leg up and do the Captain Morgan pose behind her to show the world that I could just about put my nuts on her head. I didn’t make contact and it only happened for a quick second, but I decided not to do anything else ignorant while dancing with her since she was so sweet and friendly.
So yeah, you be the judge: Was this story as bad as it sounded in the first paragraph?
FACT: You.Teabagged.A.Little.Person
Leon!!! I think you have an obsession with Captain Morgan – all of my memories of us hanging out involved Captain Morgan – who according to you is Fredrick Douglas’ cousin :-) LOL
Hilarious! And nah, the story wasn’t that bad. Who knows…she probably wanted you to make contact. lol
Flyness
No, it wasn’t as bad. I thought you were going to say that you were pumping in and out and her face was at crotch level. THAT would have been darn right disgusting! The fact that you are an equal opportunity dancer is sexy as hell. Keep tea-bagging the ladies!
YOU A FOOL
I thought in order for it to be a true bagging – there has to be sack to face contact. And since you still had your pants on – you should be good.
LMAO, that would have been too funny.
Umm..yeah I am 4’11 & I met Shaq at a party & I felt like if I opened my mouth…
LOL @ Alesha! That’s hilarious
@ Carmen, CAPTAIN MORGAN DID GO TO HAMPTON!!!
@ everyone else, thanks for the moral support!