Tiger Woods’ Wife Went Carrie Underwood on That Ass?
Posted by ListenToLeon on
November 30, 2009
It is a must that I comment on the Tiger Woods incident. After all, this is a comedy site. The facts are unclear at the moment, but the more the news reports this story, the more it looks like Elin Woods went Carrie Underwood on her husband, our beloved “Cablinasian” golf sensation after rumors of infidelity began to spread. Part of me REALLY wants to find out if Tiger got his ass whipped by his wife, Lionel Richie style. The other part wants this story to go away, because it’s really nobody’s business but Tiger and Elin Woods.
To me, the worst part about this story is the police involvement. The fact that they are going through this much trouble to investigate a 1-person car accident involving no drugs/alcohol and where no one was critically hurt, says one of two things. Either:
- These cops really don’t have shit better to do with their time, or
- Someone is trying to dig up some dirt so they can sell it to TMZ and get PAID!
I was in a 1-car accident before years ago, at almost the exact same time in the morning. Just like Tiger, I was not drinking when I hit a tree. In my case, I fell asleep behind the wheel after getting some trim earlier that night over in a Howard University dorm that is actually nicknamed “The Ebony Sex Palace.” What happened after that, was the police made sure I was alright, made sure I wasn’t drunk or high, then gave me a ticket for “failure to maintain lane” and left me the Hell alone.
That’s why when I hear about all these attempts to talk to Tiger Woods about the incident, I say to myself “Don’t these guys have some real crime to fight somewhere?”
Tiger is not helping his own case by being vague in his statement. Then again, if I were him, I wouldn’t tell the world everything either! Best case scenario, he wanted a late night Slurpee from 7-11, and just can’t drive worth a damn. Worst-case scenario, his wife went for the pan of hot grits like Mrs. Al Green, which caused Tiger to run for it. Next, he got in his SUV, and Elin Woods decided to “bust the window out his car” which further scared the shit out of him. While in a state of sheer terror, Tiger screamed like a bitch, fainted and ran into some stuff. Either way, it’s not a good look.
Tiger, I hope it all works out for you ad Elin. If not, well…you’re rich and talented, so it’ll be alright.
5 Responses to “Tiger Woods’ Wife Went Carrie Underwood on That Ass?”
I have to agree that he made it worst with his “vague” answers, which really give the implications of infidelity. Why is an “accident” a personal family matter? Hmmm? Obviously he doesn’t have a publicist because they would have put a spin on it so that it wouldn’t make the antennas of gossip/tabloid sites perk up. lol
And honestly, the cops down in Windermere DON’T have anything else to do. My cousin is Tiger’s neighbor(live in the same community). Nothing but multi-million dollar homes and a golf-course. This is like a multiple homicide(for them)! LOL!
By Kindra on Nov 30, 2009
I really need to start watching Glee regularly. Can’t believe I missed that. And, um, yeah, everyone needs to ride out of Tiger’s business. I was watching CNN shortly after it happened and I just couldn’t believe they spent so much time on it.
By Tea on Nov 30, 2009
I agree with you 100% Leon%! As soon as this story came out I knew something was up.
By Misa on Nov 30, 2009
Carrie Underwood would’ve let “Jesus take the wheel”!
By caroline on Nov 30, 2009
TMZ has ruined the world! They’ve turned the regular media into blood hounds with a nose for drama. Tiger’s already done all that he needs to legally. The fact that folks want him to give up the details just to satisfy the public’s need to know everything is just sad.
By CurlyQ on Dec 1, 2009