I know that I’m 4 days late with my list of my best entries from 2009, but it’s finally here. I may not come when you call, but I’m always right on time. Even when I’m running behind schedule. Don’t think to question this logic; just listen to Leon, as the URL of this very site suggests.
I’ve painstakingly looked through an entire year’s worth of funny content, so if you’re looking to be productive at work on this first Monday of the New Year, I apologize in advance. You ain’t getting sh*t done. You’ll be too busy laughing. The list is after the break. You may as well bookmark the page now, because there are a LOT of entries listed…
Now ladies and gentlemen, on to the year’s best:
Here is THE definitive list of rules regarding the sending and receiving of sexy text messages, or “Sexting” as it’s called.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/12/sexting-etiquette/
The gayest album cover artwork of all time.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/12/gayest-album-cover-photos/
Around age 7 or 8, I lived though my own elementary school version of the Shawshank Redemption, minus the ass rape and Morgan Freeman narrative.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/01/28/the-elementary-school-shawshank-redemption/
Is holding on to the “Black Card” more trouble than it’s worth?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/27/the-black-card-more-trouble-than-its-worth/
At what time is it officially socially acceptable to start drinking?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/09/04/is-it-too-early-to-start-drinking/
Grown men should not be barefoot in public places.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/07/08/put-your-fcking-shoes-on/
How to deal with crazy people, should you ever encounter one in public.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/02/19/how-to-deal-with-crazy-people
Presenting an open dialogue about women faking orgasms.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/02/fake-it-till-you-make-it/
This poll answers the question: “Who do you think God sounds like?”
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/08/12/who-does-god-sound-like/
This video features me doing a bunch of random impressions and ad-libs. I am quite possibly the most energetic drunk alive.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/02/27/when-digital-cameras-fall-into-the-wrong-hands/
5 Horror films that scared me half to death at some point in my life:
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/10/30/5-horror-films-that-scared-the-sht-out-me/
It’s almost always awkward running into online “friends” in person.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/17/running-into-online-friends-in-person/
This is the now-infamous and utterly hilarious turtle orgasm video.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/08/10/turtle-orgasm-video/
Elect a Black President, and the Nation’s Capital becomes overrun with old negroes in fur coats.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/01/20/inauguration-or-players-ball/
Is being called “a sexy gorilla” really a compliment? I mean, really?!
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/29/is-being-called-a-sexy-gorilla-really-a-compliment/
Ladies, please don’t get TOO comfortable around your man. Thanks.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/10/23/ladies-dont-get-too-comfortable-around-your-man/
A recap of my Miami vacation, complete with hoodrats in stripper clothes and colorful hair.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/26/miami-vacation-is-done/
They say if you fall asleep with a rose petal under your pillow, you will dream about the person you’re going to marry. Sounds gay to me, but who knows?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/01/14/your-dream-lover/
Whenever someone says “no disrespect” to you, it means they’re about to disrespect the Hell out of you. Remember that.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/09/15/no-disrespect/
This is the ListenToLeon “Behind The Music” documentary, from Posh Supper Club.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/01/karaoke-night-at-posh-supper-club/
This is a guest post I wrote on AwesomelyLuvvie’s blog about people with color complexes.
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2009/11/get-over-your-color-complex.html
I can’t stand porch people.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/07/20/porch-people/
Who knew that some crackheads have gym memberships?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/02/24/who-let-crackhead-on-the-court/
Happy Valentines’ Day, the 2009 edition. Listen as I unleash my inner pimp on the entire free world!
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/02/13/the-official-2009-valentines-podcast/
If you are on Twitter, here are 10 easy was to get unfollowed.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/08/31/10-reasons-why-i-will-unfollow-you/
I was challenged to make the topic of “dead babies” funny, so I rose to the occasion and did just that.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/09/22/dead-babies-a-motivational-speech/
The moment we all hate when dining at a restaurant with 5 or more people: The arrival of the check.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/27/separate-checks-please/
I refuse to give money to any homeless man with a Hitler mustache.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/02/02/i-lied-to-homeless-hitler/
I am the only blogger man enough to wear a Frederick Douglass afro part.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/07/10/the-frederick-douglass-part/
My ranking of all the shows on Adult Swim, in order from best to worst. Yes, I watch too much television…
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/23/adult-swim-power-rankings/
Who reigns supreme? Chuck Norris, or Billy Dee Williams?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/11/chuck-norris-vs-billy-dee-williams/
I got a little creative during the most recent major snowstorm in DC.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/12/19/its-snowing-in-dc/
When someone’s stench lingers on, long after they’ve gone…
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/12/15/when-the-stank-lingers-on/
I still haven’t tried Kentucky Grilled Chicken yet. What about you?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/05/has-anyone-tried-kentucky-grilled-chicken/
An original work of poetry, by yours truly.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/10/whispering-sweet-nothings/
Obama wasn’t looking at that girl’s butt, but what if he was?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/07/10/obama-was-not-looking-at-ass/
I wrote about a “Natural Female Enhancement” product, and the makers of said product proceeded to spam the Hell out of my comment section.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/21/natural-female-enhancement/
Always recognize the dangers of Crip-walking. Especially when being filmed.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/03/05/the-dangers-of-crip-walking/
Speculations on the movies that Tyler Perry will probably make in the next few years.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/08/25/future-tyler-perry-movies-trending-topic/
Believe it or not, Winnie The Pooh used to scare the Hell out of me as a small child.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/20/speaking-of-winnie-the-pooh/
This is a video addressing the use of the “N-word”, illustrating an article I wrote for another site.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/05/the-n-word/
A little something in defense of dating comedians…
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/15/dating-a-comedian-do-it/
Stay in shape people! Especially in the bedroom.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/04/03/sexual-conditioning/
“We fall down, but we get up…”
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/05/04/we-fall-down-but-we-get-up/
I made jokes about the premiere of BET’s “Tiny and Toya” series, only to have viewers lash out the entire time the show was on the air.
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/06/18/tiny-and-toya/
What would be the most pointless superpowers to ever have?
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/06/09/crap-superpowers/
Please don’t ever let me catch you wearing “Flair Hair.”
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/10/21/flair-hair/
Me and my unofficial pet alley cat, “Thunderpu**y.”
http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/11/19/adopting-an-alley-cat/
I can’t. LOL
why leon why…..i sitting here getting crying laughing!
Im b acki for day 2 of not getting any work done…I work for the government …its not like anyone will notice!
@ Naydia, welcome back! If you work for the govt then you’re right. No one will notice!
@ Ms. P, Yes you can! Si se puede!
Leon…..you’s a busy man….a busy man
Your post about Porch People had me laughing…my next door neighbors are the Garage Gang. They have a dining room table and chairs (on an oriental rug) in their garage. They stay posted, keeping an eye on everything. Damn retirees!
http://joshsbigbrowncouch.blogspot.com is a pretty funny blog site. she’s got some good quotes on there.
it’s a site from a woman who’s fiance is too lazy to get off the couch to help plan their wedding, so she takes pics of him on it to make him mad. so funny
Now, first thank you very much. To share a good thing. Science is really an important event. I want to say something really good quality blogs that I also want to congratulate