As you already know, I’ve had a number of run-ins with panhandlers in the DC area. I even wrote a guide to help them in their begging. I mean, we’re in a recession, and I know I’m an approachable-looking guy, so I’m kind of used to it. Still, there are always those occasions where someone asks me for money and says something so utterly ridiculous that I have to share the story with people. This particular entry is about one of them.
I was coming home from the gym last month, and instead of eating something healthy like I should have, I decided that I wanted some jerk chicken from Sweet Mangos. On my way in, a guy asks me for money to get home. I said “If I have some change on the way out, yeah.” I was feeling good, and it was around Christmas time, so I guess the spirit of giving was in me.
That spirit quickly left once that guy followed me in, counted and said “I need about $3 if you have it. That looks like a you got a five. I can give you two dollars in quarters…”
I said “Sheeeit…I don’t have $3 to give you! I thought you wanted change or something! Where are you trying to get to, anyway?”
He replied “I’m going to Silver Spring.”
I then said “The 70 bus goes right up Georgia Avenue and will take you to Silver Spring. You already have enough money for that. You better go on out there before you miss it! Or you can take the Metro…”
Then this fool had the nerve to say “Nah man. I’m trying to take a cab. I’m going to the club, and I don’t want to take the bus up there.”
At that point, his ignorance angered me. I looked at him and said “Man, f*ck that! I just got off the train! Your broke ass is TOO GOOD for the Metro?! What the Hell are you gonna do at the club with no money anyway? I could see if you were a woman with big titties, but you’re just…You. I’m not giving you money for that sh*t. Get the Hell on!”
He could tell that I was getting ready to turn into the light skinned Incredible Hulk, because main man left without saying a word. That, or he was embarrassed because people in the restaurant were laughing at what I said to him. Either way, I had to put this story up here, because it was just flat out uncalled for. I think I’m going to be a little more standoffish in 2010 so that dummies can see the “don’t f*ck with me” look in my eyes and leave me alone in public places.
Aye Leon this joint is too too funny. He “want to take a cab” Flling out for Real Leon!!!!!!
Hahahahahahahaha.
I saw a panhandler on 18th St south of Dupont with a very similar sign last summer.
…. BUT he followed you IN the store though.. lol.. yo, that’s some good ole funny stuff there!
LMAO at him providing change! Hilarious.
I’da had to put an elbow to his neck for counting MY money.
You know this lady panhandled right outside of Shaw-Howard Metro. She asked me for 35 cents claiming she needed it for the bus. And gave it her to her thinking she was short and I was taking the bus too. Do you know after I gave her the change she walked away from the bus stop and went right inside the liquor store at the corner. I said out loud damn…Bitch you could have at least went somewhere where I couldn’t see you. The beggars and DC are not bold but either hilarious at times or just plain old annoying..SMH.. Another story real quick this man in a wheel chair asked me for something to outside of the Greek Spot I gave him my gyro that I ordered and then as I was going back into the restaurant I saw him give it away for a pack for cigarettes. I walked to him after and I’m like give how are you gonna trade my sandwich for a pack of cigarettes he lied to be dead faced and said he ate I said it hasn’t been 5 min and you don’t have any remnants of it, no bag, no napkins, no container…Smh I have decided I’m not giving anyone shit anymore at all. I don’t care need it or not I am tired of being bamboozled. I just feel bad because the fake beggars mess it up for the acutal people who need it.
dayum that was mighty bold young LLS