I need a true test of my willpower. A few months ago, I gave up drinking soda. I now stand before you, soda-free. A life-long addiction, crushed like a cupcake some fat motherf*cker accidentally sat on. Behold the strength and testicular fortitude of the one they call Leon!
Everybody is talking about what they’re giving up for lent, but right now, I can only think of two vices worth sacrificing for my overall well-being. The first vice is beer, since that’s bad for me anydamnway. The second is jerking off.
I’m currently drinking beer as I type, so the only option right now is to give up jacking off. Now I don’t beat my d*ck any more than the average guy, mainly because I was told as a young boy that spanking the monkey makes you go blind & grow hair on your palms. I currently have 20-20 vision as well as hairless palms, so it’s obvious that I am telling the truth. Still, I think it may be a good thing for me to substitute push ups, cold showers or even writing on this blog for those times when I’m not getting any vagina, but REALLY want some.
I’m either going to come out of this ordeal built like a light skinned 50 Cent thanks to all those push ups, or I’m going to have mind-blowing “Scary Movie” orgasms whenever I do have sex thanks to my choice. We shall see.
Since I am no longer cumming unless a female is DIRECTLY responsible for it, I guess this is goodbye, xvideos.com. I’ll miss you and your free smut. Que sera sera. C’est la vie. F*ck it.
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This is especially funny for me since 40 Days and 40 Nights has been in rotation on Starz this month! Until lent’s over, I’m callin’ you Josh Hartnett!
Touching yourself is a beautiful thing and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise lol
LOL. I just gave up liquour for Lent 2010. I attempted to keeping my hands off myself and failed. It’s got to be the only time failure ever felt good.
ya i gave up the same thing for lent. Im 17 finding it hard enough its been 14 days now just thinking of ways to fill up my evening so i wont be thinking of it. So this comment was probably a bad idea haha!
ya its been 29 days now its not as hard as u think the first week is the hardest. it gets easier as u go on just find a substitute to take up a bit of ur time