Even when I’m trying to do the right thing, I can’t help but be a jerk. The perfect example of this came on Wednesday night. I worked late, so I ended up checking out this lounge up the street from my office. While there, I met a tall, slim, beautiful young lady who was in an unusual predicament. The zipper on her tiny little lady purse was stuck on a part of her shirt. I was forced to make a decision: Do I help her out? Or do I make jokes?
After I got through cracking jokes at her expense, I offered to help. I said “The best way to set you free is to just ler ‘er rip!” Then I proceeded to pull the zipper with all the mighty brawn in my biceps, attempting to wow her with my awesome high-yellow Conan The Afro-American power.
That wasn’t a wise move. In setting her free from her situation, I managed to destroy the purses’ zipper entirely, and put a small rip in her shirt. Somehow, despite all of this, I charmed this lovely young lady enough for her to give me her phone number. This is the moment where the unintentional jerk part happened…
My “smart” phone does everything right, except make it easy to store numbers and keep track of them. I somehow failed to properly save the phone number of a gorgeous woman who liked me despite the fact that I ripped her shirt and ruined her purse in public. This must be karma kicking me in the scrotum for something I did in the past. Now, I’m going to look like the jerk who made fun of her, ripped her shirt, destroyed her purse, and on top of all that, never called.
I think I might take the Tiger Woods route and offer a public apology for all of the jackass things I’ve done in the past. Maybe then, I’ll get right with God and things like this will stop happening to me.
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I want to crack jokes here, but I just can’t. There are too many!
Suffice it to say that you are getting old and your mack is losing focus. The 25 year old Leon would not have lost that chick’s number until AFTER coitus.
@ rainmayun, trust me, I did worse sh*t when I was younger. WAY worse sh*t!
damn bruh. white jesus is laughing hard at you.
i’ve said all along that those phones suck!
From here on out – dial the number and let it ring at least once then program her name. That way you wont have that problem anymore.
just try – real hard – not to name her “chick from the club with ripped shirt aka “real name” in an attempt to remember where you met.
If it’s meant to be, you’ll cross paths again!
If not, oh well think of it as the universe doing both ya’ll a favor ;-)
i’m sure you’ll see her again. DC is small