Open Letter To Andray Blatche


Dear Andray Blatche,

Grow the Hell up.

Before you start to think that this letter is completely negative in tone, let me take time out to say “Thank you” for the way you stepped your game up on the court this season for the Washington Wizards. Your play has been the one glimmer of hope in an otherwise abysmal year. Now that I’ve gotten the compliment out of the way, I must now talk about you for the way you quit on your team the other night.

Quite frankly, your attitude has held you back. Initially, I thought you were just another power forward-sized fellow who thinks he’s a guard, kind of like Antoine Walker or a poor man’s Lamar Odom…Oh yeah, one who also has a thing for hookers. Luckily, I was wrong, and you do have more game than I gave you credit for. I never would have imagined in 100 years that you’d be relevant enough for me to write about over here, so for that I commend you. Unfortunately, it also appears that you are an immature, selfish hothead who is impossible to coach. Washington’s season is terrible enough as it stands. Please don’t be a jerk and add to the negative headlines.   

I’m not sure what your contract situation is, but I know the team has been cleaning house since the Gilbert Arenas fiasco. With the promise you’ve shown in the last 16 games you’ve played, I’m sure you’ll get paid to play somewhere. Still, it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re setting yourself up for failure with your antics. You get paid a lot of money to play a kid’s game. On top of that, you have fame, which begets easy groupie ass. There is no reason for you to be unhappy out there, aside from the win-loss record.

Here, let me help you put it in perspective: You have no college degree, and you don’t work well with others. Based on this criteria, you are one horrible injury and a bunch of bad financial decisions away from being the world’s tallest Payless Shoes employee. Enjoy this opportunity that God has blessed your big ass with! I do want to see you succeed. Just remember that even though you’re a rich athlete, you are still someone’s EMPLOYEE, and NOT the one calling the shots. All that’s missing is the professionalism, Andray.

Oh yeah, just to show you that I actually do have good intentions, I am myself resisting the temptation to make fun of the name “Andray.” It could be worse. You could be named “Muaykal” or “Urrnest” or something…

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10 Responses to “Open Letter To Andray Blatche”

  1. CurlyQ 24. Mar, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    I gave up on the Wiz a long time ago.

    The best thing that could happen to Andray is to get cut so he can go on to have the best game of his life elsewhere like all the others before him.

  2. MZ 24. Mar, 2010 at 8:45 pm #

    I’m not surprised with Blatche, I used to kill with him off the bench on 2K. I miss them more for that reason, than any other.

  3. Budoo 24. Mar, 2010 at 9:53 pm #

    Andre had to step up, the wizards have nobody. I used to sit behind his cousin during the New Orleans Hornets game on the floor, and he’s a bamma, just like Andre. It grind my gears.

  4. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah 24. Mar, 2010 at 9:58 pm #

    Seriously, the LAST thing the Wizards need right now is quitters.

    I’d love to see Andray Blatche try to get a non-basketball related job in this economy with his qualifications.

  5. Fred 24. Mar, 2010 at 10:30 pm #

    Leon, this is good enough to send to ESPN or Colin Cowherd or sports talk 980. I think John Thompson would get a kick out of this. Take it national.

  6. MissE 25. Mar, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    LOL. I can’t make any real comment, so I’ll just laugh.

  7. ListenToLeon 25. Mar, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    @ MissE, I understand. No need to mess up job security!

    @ Fred, thanks man. I’m gonna try to get this to John Thompson today and see if he actually checks it out.

    @ Sarah, he could get hired by a rich short person to reach stuff on the top shelf.

    @ Budoo that’s hilarious. “It grinds my gears.” I want to watch Family Guy after reading that comment.

    @ MZ, I knew he had ability, but he looked real shaky at times. He seems more confident on the court now.

    @ CurlyQ that’s what usually happens with the Bullets/Wizards.

  8. SSHarmony 26. Mar, 2010 at 12:29 am #

    I agree with Fred. This is a really good commentary. I hope this is picked up by the right people :)


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