An inadvertent fire alarm just went off in the office. Although I knew it wasn’t a real fire, I thought to myself “the last place I want to die, is at work.” So I’m on my way outside to enjoy the sunshine for a bit…I mean, escape the raging flames that just might consume the building. I don’t want to perish working on an Excel spreadsheet. I always envisioned myself having a spectacular death, like Scarface. Mountain of cocaine, rocket launcher and everything. Or at least have it happen at home in my sleep. Not like this!
If any of my co-workers should happen to read this, I am going outside in the name of efficiency! I can’t do IT guy stuff if I’m in a casket. I’m thinking of THE COMPANY FIRST! Now, if you should also happen to see me flirting with women in sundresses, or skanky strippers on their way to work at Archibalds, well…I have no excuse for that. It’s Springtime. Sh*t.
To everybody else, remember that the last place you want to die is somewhere that they have to pay you in order to get you to show up every day. If the fire alarm goes off, LEAVE! If you see Larry from middle management who got fired last week walking in the building wearing a trench coat in June, GET THE HELL OUT! Take the back door for good measure! Once again, another Public Service Announcement from your friendly neighborhood humor blogger, ListenToLeon.
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not only is it “work”, but this particular place is the 7th circle of hell
You mean you’ve never had the broken elevator fantasy? I imagine every time I’m alone in an elevator with a female at work that it suddenly breaks down and we’re stuck there for hours waiting for a rescue. How long until we eventually get it on before losing our last bit of oxygen in that deathtrap?
Lol! I always say that whenever i hear these stories about some employee getting shot tryna be a hero and save the company..no, not me, if i worked in a bank and some goons run up in there, im handing them the money, no questions asked, shiit, i’ll give em the key/combination/password to the safe and give them dudes extra duffel bags. it aint my daddy bank and it aint my money, fukk company policy…after 3 days i will have a replacement and no one will remember my name!!
so Leon, when the alarm goes off, make sure u are home by the time everybody realises it was just a fire drill…just saying!!
…ugh finally after 3 months i catch up and i must say these blogs are funny as shit especially this one…man my chest hurts lol
But don’t your beneficiaries get extra loot if you croak on the job? Yeah, I know. Spoken like a true fogy.
ha! I hear you! Get OUTTA there!!
@ Spleenless Damn right!
@ Anonymousnupe, yeah, that’s good for THEM, but it sucks for me!
@ Jeff, welcome back!
@ Bella, great minds think alike
@ Classick Material, sounds cool and all, but I don’t want to die in a elevator, even if it does mean I’ll get laid in the process!
@ Headsonthings, you just might be right