I knew I should not have gotten on there. This morning, I was walking in my building and approached the elevator. As I got near I saw an old man exiting, attempting to avoid making any eye contact with me. His facial expression bore a strange combination or guilt and relief. I thought to myself, “This old guy just farted on the elevator, didn’t he?”
Instead of listening to my intuition, instinct, Spider Sense or whatever you want to call it, I stepped into the elevator, and my suspicions were confirmed. Out of disgust, I yelled out “I KNEW IT!!! OL’ STANKY-BOOTY OLD MAN!”
It wasn’t an unbearable fart. The level of odor itself wasn’t what prompted my involuntary outburst. The main concern in my mind was “What if someone else gets on this elevator now? They’re gonna think I’m the jerk who just let one rip in a confined space.”
Luckily, no one else got on the elevator so my fears were unwarranted. My morning has been great otherwise, aside from the dude who honked his car horn at me like I’m a chick or something. Since all he did was lean out the window, I just kept it moving. A few women gave me the eye this morning as well, so I’m just going to chalk it up as “I’m looking kind of good today” and leave it at that. He didn’t cross the line like the Facebook guy, so there’s no need to clown him any further for his actions.
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LOLOLOL! OMG this laugh felt so good this morning, thanks Leon!
Good thing I’m in the office alone. I couldn’t stop laughing.