Rants In The Name Of Religion

I regularly see a group of Hebrew Iraelites preaching outside Columbia Heights metro station as I make my way to the gym. As a result of hearing them yelling at people on numerous occasions, I have come to one conclusion: these motherf*ckers hate just about EVERYBODY!

If anybody has ever had an encounter with angry Hebrew Israelite street preachers, then you know what I’m talking about. Occasionally, someone will stop and argue with them, not realizing it only makes the group get louder. I want to be like “the best thing to do is to ignore everything” but then I’d have to get involved in that mess. Not that I’m scared to speak up for myself. It’s just that they usually roll about 5 or 6 deep. I’m not trying to get jumped by a bunch of n*ggas in swami costumes. I’d be embarrassed to tell my friends that I got beaten up by Prince Aladdin and his crew.

I don’t know of the DC ones actually beating people down, but I heard it used to happen in New York if someone talked back to the ones up there. I think the ones we have out here are more focused on attempting to piss people off as opposed to actually jumping on somebody. On one hand, I want to give these brothers credit for finding a cause in life, but, I can’t seriously act like I approve of or condone their beliefs and their loud-ass method of sharing them.

One of the things that great about this country is that we have the right to free speech, freedom of religion and the right to assemble. Therefore, the Hebrew Israelites can heckle the f*ck out of people all day long in a public place if they so choose. Another freedom that’s not in the Constitution, but probably should be, is the right to ignore nonsense and keep it moving. I mean really, should anyone actually care if they like you or not? Just employ the same tactics used to avoid giving change to panhandlers and you should be fine.

I wonder if that strategy is actually winning them new members. I guess it appeals to the extremely angry black man demographic, so maybe it is effective. Who knows? I just hope these motherf*ckers have a sense of humor when they google themselves and find this entry!

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