AOL is 25 Years Old?


America Online is allegedly celebrating it’s 25th birthday. I can’t believe that AOL is really 25 years old. Who had the internet in 1985? The only thing I remember about computers from back then is “Oregon Trail” and printing stuff on paper that was attached to other pieces of paper. Making big-ass pixelated “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!” banners and whatnot.

When I was a kid, my Dad bought me one of those Radio Shack “Tandy” computers that you had to hook up to the TV set to use. I was all of 6 or 7 years old, and he got mad at me for not using it enough. I didn’t like that system with the big-ass one-color dashes & bars enough to learn how to become an 80’s computer hacker, or whatever future goal Dad set for me in his mind.. Plus, the machine only had one game on it, which was some off-brand version of “Pong” where you went back and forth trying to hit a damn dot.

Dad took that piece of crap computer back to punish me for not using it. Yes, I got “punished” for going outside and playing with my friends as opposed to sitting in front of a screen typing nonsense and chasing a dot back and forth. That’s if you can actually call what he did “punishment.” I called it a relief.

I’m telling this story in order to illustrate my point: Who in the Hell had the internet in their home back in 1985? It was probably the same people with those 1st generation cell phones that looked like a brick and came attached to a giant backpack. Also, what sites were around back then? This was back in the day when TV would go off after a certain hour. Can you imagine going to Google after 2AM and seeing white noise static? Or getting your search interrupted by the Emergency Broadcast System? The internet in 1985 had to SUCK!

Google can probably answer these questions for me, but making jokes about it is way more fun.

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14 Responses to “AOL is 25 Years Old?”

  1. Nicole M 27. May, 2010 at 11:29 am #

    LMAO! hilarious!! the first generation cell phones were huge and like $100 a minute. Awww…the 80’s!

  2. EJ 27. May, 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Not sure how old u are… But we had Prodigy and the AOL waaaaay back in the day. Remember Prodigy? I think maybe that was the “Internet” and social networking at its infancy…

  3. ListenToLeon 27. May, 2010 at 11:42 am #

    @ EJ I don’t remember Prodigy. Definitely remember AOL though! I got my first piece of online ass thanks to an AOL chat room. Glad she was actually a woman and not some serial killer!

    @ Nicole M, you’re probably right about those prices. Cell phones meant you were RICH back in the day! There wasn’t any “Cricket” back then!

  4. nocdib 27. May, 2010 at 12:18 pm #

    Prodigy was actually the first online service to commercially advertise. I vaguely remember their commercials. Then CompuServe came about and took the lead until AOL said “Eff all you hoes” and decided to go unlimited for a flat rate.

    Gotta love the good old days with the loud ass modem and chatting to another “teenager” across the country only to have some telemarketer knock you offline with a phone call about donating money for cancer research.

  5. LoudPen 27. May, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    Man, AOL used to be that ish! I remember when we first got a computer. My brothers, sister, and I were so excited. My friend came over to help me set up my AOL screen name and I was beasting after that. Memories, memories.

  6. rainmayun 27. May, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    in the 80s I had never heard of the internet, but they did have dial up BBS systems where you could download pirated Commodore 64 games if you were in with the cool l33t kids. Of course, it took a week to download one floppy disc.

  7. The Smoking Ace 27. May, 2010 at 2:47 pm #

    Not the Tandy, everybody had a Tandy with PrintShop. That took 15 years to make banners.

  8. {Ms. P} 27. May, 2010 at 5:31 pm #

    You’re telling our ages!

  9. shatani 28. May, 2010 at 11:11 am #

    oh man, i HATED when the phone would ring and knock me off the interwebs right when i was about to catch a predator!

  10. headsonthings 28. May, 2010 at 2:10 pm #

    no way was aol around 25 years ago. this is BS. the internet wasnt even commercially open until 1988. lies and conjecture.

  11. Ami Rochow 02. Feb, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    First time in Super Bowl history……….no cheerleaders

  12. Envon 20. Feb, 2011 at 10:55 am #

    Thank you for the post, i appreciated studying it. I don’t agree with it all however it was a great publish.


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