Upon hearing the news that Laurence Fishburne’s daughter Montana is releasing a hardcore sex tape, I initially planned to leave the story alone. I mean, it’s a free country. She can suck d*ck on camera if she wants. However, once I heard the reason why Montana Fishburne, a.k.a. “Chippy D” chose to make a sex tape, I realized that she left me no choice but to joke her mercilessly. This woman actually said the following:
I think it’s safe to say that this hoe needs guidance. Just to be clear, I’m not using “hoe” in a mysogonistic, disrespectful manner. I mean it in an actual-factual “this person has sex for money” kind of way. So now that we’ve established my intent, let me offer some insight to Miss Fishburne. Montana, if you’re reading this, I’ve broken things down into bite-size nuggets of wisdom and tough love:
- You are not Kim Kardashian, nor will you ever be. Not that you’re not attractive in your own right…I mean, I wouldn’t kick you out of bed…But sadly, you’re still no Kim K. You’re better looking than all of her sisters though.
- Kim Kardashian was already wealthy and somewhat famous before the tape, and she hung out with her own rich amateur porn star friend, Paris Hilton. Nobody even knew Laurence Fishburne had a daughter until now.
- Kim K’s film featured another actual celebrity(term used loosely), Ray J. Therefore, interest in your smut film will be nowhere near the level it was for Kim Kardashian’s. That is, unless you’ve found a C-List celeb of your own to co-star with you.
- Why not at least TRY to be relevant the old-fashioned way, like having sex with directors for parts, or using your father’s name to open doors? Then, you might not have to turn to porn until you’ve exhausted all of your other options.
- Back to Kim K. Her body is incredible. I haven’t seen you naked yet, but I’m saying…That’s an uphill battle you’re fighting trying to compete with those curves.
- What happened to having REAL role models? You could have chose to follow in the footsteps of any woman: Oprah, Michelle Obama, Katie Motherf*ckin Couric, anybody…Why this choice? I guess the “going to school and getting a job” route isn’t for everyone.
There you go, Miss Fishburne. Food for thought. You do the dishes.
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When I heard this story earlier and then watched her “interview” on another website, all I could do was shake my head. Who says they are following the path of Kim K.? And who says that on tape looking a hot mess? I totally agree with your “nuggets!” Her father needs to sit her outside with a carafe of milk like Fred Flintstone did Dino! ….and thanks for stopping by my lil corner of the blog world.
It’s not for $$$. She must really want to be a freak. I was a bit shocked by the story too.
What a dummy! Who says such an idiotic statement in public?! Clearly, she needs guidance, Jesus, Mary, Joesph, Buddha, Mohammed, and any other deity that might be able to play “Captain save a hoe”. SMH.
hmmm, this is larry’s daughter from a previous marriage – wonder how involved he was in her life…abandonment issues on full display.
he needs to beat her a$$ grown butt in all. she could be a hoe but she wouldnt drag my name in it! Her father has put in work…he played the hell out of ike turner and she goes and defaces his name like this, shame on this heffa! Also leon she is dating Brian Pumper a well known porno “actor “. she has to be doing some kind of drugs.
@Ghost of JD Walker – I never knew he had ANY kids until now! So that’s gotta be sayin’ something.
Furthermore, has anyone brought up that she looks JUST LIKE HER FATHER?!?! Albeit a still relatively attractive female, but one that looks JUST LIKE HER FATHER, the famous actor, Larry Fishburne!! If I were a porn actor hired to fuck her on camera, that would kinda fuck with my head!
@ Thai, it was my pleasure. I like your blog.
@ Eathan, I guess she’s doing it for the love…Like Ray J!
@ LoudPen, Did you ever see the film Major League? If so, you should tell her to go seek answers from Jobu! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YntY1kyKo4o/TByvdW1HFYI/AAAAAAAAK1U/2MRO_t24WoY/s400/jobu.jpg
@Ghost of JD Walker sounds about right.
@ NIVEA LOL he’s the one that raps. The dude that looks like Lloyd Banks on steroids.
@ Kayode Kendall, she’s female enough for me not to think about Morpheus or Ike Turner while hitting it.
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