Thanks to you wonderful readers, I am a finalist in the Humor category of the Black Weblog Awards. I’m up against some very stiff competition this year, so I need your votes to win. Below, I have compiled a list of 10 reasons why I deserve your vote for Best Humor Blog:
Reason 10: I have the temper of James Evans from Good Times, and the arrogance of Kanye West. That’s a bad combination when I don’t get my way. I may go on a rampage, throwing chairs and interrupting white people all day long.
Reason 9: I’ve held a lot of events to help bring bloggers together like bosoms & butt cheeks. Just like bosoms, I nurtured the Black Blogosphere and it is a funnier place now thanks to me (directly in some cases, indirectly in others). Also, like butt-cheeks, I talk a lot of sh*t. Therefore I deserve your vote.
Reason 8: I am a master at using Photoshop for evil as well as for good, as you can tell from the Michael Jackson influenced header image. So vote for me, or else Dick Cheney might shoot you in the face.
Reason 7: King Magazine brought back my “Fine Sh*terature” column. If I’m funny enough to take people’s mind off of looking at women in thongs, then dammit, that’s saying something!
Reason 6: My Twitter feed alone is hilarious. I’m much better than 140 characters could ever hope to contain, but even the canned & condensed version of my sense of humor is awesome.
Reason 5: I am more interesting than the Dos Equis guy and the Old Spice guy combined. Why else would people sexually harass me on Facebook?
Reason 4: How many other bloggers have both teabagged a little person and coached a team for charity, all in the past year? Still thinking about it? Don’t worry. I’ll wait…
Reason 3: I have a motherf*ckin’ Greatest Hits page! That in itself lets you know that I mean business!!!
Reason 2: I have killed productivity all over the world. Looking at my analytics, I realize that I’ve helped people get through the process of picking digital cotton on that giant plantation we call “work” in countries that I can’t even locate on a map! Right now, there’s some person in Bucharest reading this entry instead of creating Excel spreadsheets in whatever language they speak there. He’s probably praying to Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Athena and Jobu right now, hoping that the laughter I’ve caused does not get him fired.
Reason 1: If I win one more Black Weblog Award in the Humor category, I’ll be in their Hall of Fame. Think about that for a second: I’ll be a Hall of Famer at something! Michael Jordan, Hank Aaron, Muhammad Ali…and now, ME! You’ve gotta love that! Besides, I’m not old and broken-down yet, so becoming a Hall of Famer would be extra special. It would be awesome to know I’m appreciated right now, in my prime, as opposed to 50 years later when I’m an old broken-down black man or deader than a motherf*cker. Do the right thing, and vote for Yeah…I said it! a.k.a. ListenToLeon.net!
