The Inception Entry

I have a million things to joke about today, yet they all kind of relate to the film Inception. For those unfamiliar with the premise of the film, it’s about a team of individuals who go into people’s dreams, and in one case, plant a powerful idea that could change the world. It’s a great film, although I must admit, at one point I had to take a step back and physically count on my hands to keep track of how many dreams were going on at the same time. Now that you know the premise of the film, you understand why I have a Christopher Williams video in the middle of this entry. No, it’s not high-yellow negro solidarity. Nor is it New Jack Swing nostalgia. It’s simply the underlying message of the song: “Don’t wake me, I’m dreaming…And if you do wake me up…I might be stuck in this dream world forever and go batsh*t crazy. So please, don’t wake me, I’m dreaming…GIRL I’M DREAMING ‘BOUT YOU!!!

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Christopher Williams used to literally HOLLER at chicks when he hollered. Like “Hey baby, my name is Chris. What’s that you drinking on…OOOOHHHHHH!!!” But that’s neither here nor there. I PROMISE to get back on subject, right after I use this sentence as an excuse to link to Youtube clips of his music one more time. OK. There we go.

I wish inception technology were real. I’d go in some folk’s heads just to see what the Hell is going on in there. One person in particular is the Montgomery County Skeet Bandit in the news today. This man went around stores with a spray bottle filled with semen and squirted it on women while taking camera phone pictures. If I could sneak into his dreams, I’d have this conversation with him:

Leon: So you REALLY sat at home and jerked off enough times to fill up a water bottle?

Skeet Bandit: Yes I did.

Leon: You know, all that time you wasted playing with yourself, you could have spent actually talking to women and probably met one who’d have willingly let you do whatever nasty stuff it is you’re into. Instead, you’re in prison with forearms like Popeye The Sailor thanks to all that mess…

Skeet Bandit: I should kick your ass!

Leon: You don’t have your little nut-bottle with you in this dream, so I have nothing to fear. You can’t whup me!

Skeet Bandit: Dammit. Hey? what is that noise in the background?

Leon: Oh, those are the inmates who are going to do everything to you that you did to those women, except they won’t be using water bottles. Enjoy getting passed around by Big Leroy and his crew for the rest of this dream!

Skeet Bandit: *Sobbing gently*

What really made me laugh today was the fact that the plot to the film Inception pretty much already happened in a Scrooge McDuck comic book years ago. Not only did he swim in a vault full of money, he was a visionary screenwriter as well. Thanks Scrooge! Now, I’m about to use this inception stuff to help Christopher Williams figure out how to make a comeback.

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